Journal Entry for February 15, 2008
February 15, 2008 12:10pm
well were back estelle went to be with god on the 9th we were by her side im feeling very depressed from all of this overwhelmed sad dont feel like …
angelrv61’s Profile
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angelrv61
is feeling Horrible
About Me
i was a cna .i was assaulted at work, had surgery .have ptsd unable to work .my past trauma from being raped at3 and having a baby by my stepdad the rape continued till i had 2more kids by my stepdad he shot at me when i ran away at19 the cops saved me and my kids i have daily flashbacks and anxiety attacks i carry alot of pain on the inside and out.when i was doing good i used to garden.ihad 8 flower beds. i have a swimming pool .i love to swim .i have no neighbors so i have my privacy .im really sad we had to put the cover over the pool for winter.thers nothing i like to do durring winter.
Interests
getting help.moving on with a positive life .gardening flowers. swimming.playing with my grandkids. also my 2 dogs and 1 cat.
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Journal
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Journal Entry for February 6, 2008
February 6, 2008 11:18am
im not going to be here for awhile my husbands aunt estelle is dying we have to travel to michigan see you when i get back send prayers my way bye …
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Journal Entry for January 27, 2008
January 27, 2008 9:41am
i figured out my problem im living in the past most of my time the only time im present is when im on ds or talking to frank or praying to god how do …
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Hugbook
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Present
hey you where have you been?????
Hug
hey, how are you doing? it's been awhile... hope you are okay.
Good Luck
I was wondering if the Prozac might be making things worse. It increases some of the bad chemicals for PTSD... :(
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I’m With You
I saw you were feeling yucky. :( Have you tried Inderal (propranolol) with the Geodon? It works much better. The Geodon only takes care of 2 of the 3 chemicals while propranolol takes care of the 3rd. It talks about it at www.CarrotofHope.org
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Support Groups
Close Anxiety
i was raped at 3 by marv my stepdad police took me and my kids to a shelter when he tried to shoot me i was in therapy 3yrs. 20yrs. later i was at work and was badly beaten i even had to have surgery since 2-20-03i started with flashbacks and anxiety attacksthats why im here
Treatments
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- depression ptsd anxiety attacks fearful all the time
- Ativan Somewhat Helpful
- it took 30 min. to calm me down
- Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful
- you forget to breathe
- Crying Working / Worked
- helps calm me done and my breathing gets slower
- Eating Healthier Foods Working / Worked
- no sugar or caffene no alchol
- Geodon Working / Worked
- its working at night with my nightmares
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- worked faster
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- depression ptsd anxiety attacks fearful all the time
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- my husband and da. and son help me the most so does the valium and deep breathing
- Talking Too Soon to Tell
- i sit in my closet and talk to myself about what my stepdad did to me
- Valium Somewhat Helpful
- i feel like i need to take more than 5 mg.
Close Sexual Abuse
raped at 3 had 3 kids by my stepdad was beaten and shot at i was out of the rape at 19 he went to prison 32 years worked as a cna was beat by pt .now i have ptsd daily flashbacks too when i can get through the flashbacks then anxiety hits but guess what im still here.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- sexually raped at 3 have 3 kids by stepfather
- Group Therapy Too Soon to Tell
- first group on the 18
- Leave Considering
- i have seen marv mystepdad in public places i scream and runaway when he got out of prison he was placed in my home town since this is where the rapes took place i live scared daily thinking marv is going to get me i dont leave my home alone my kids live here so i dont want to move
- Prozac Working / Worked
- idont cry as often as i used to and i can get out of bed now only side effect is dry mouth
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- my 3 kids are a result of being raped for years by my stepdad they know who their father is this is very hard on them as well 1 da. 1 son are doing great 1 da. not so much
- Talking Working / Worked
- started at 3 had my first baby at 14 by my stepdad had 2 more by the same stepdad the more i can talk about it i feel lighter
- \"The Courage To Heal\" Working / Worked
- im still in my recovery period but i can see im taking baby steps to get better marv is 74 years old so im hoping he'll die soon
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
i was at work when a man came at me and beat me up i had to have surgury i cant workanymore im afraid of men dont trust them i have flashbacks daily then anxiety attacks my heart beats so hard i feel sick thats the point i lock myself in the closet
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
- i work with a therapist
- EMDR Working / Worked
- was able to get me out of flashbacks sooner
- Geodon Working / Worked
- helping to control my nights
- Music Working / Worked
- i put on loud music and dance
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- my husband and da. help me out of my flashbacks
Open Back Pain
i was beaten up at work had surgury but still hurt everyday
Treatments
- Acupressure Working / Worked
- i use a thera cane helps
- Chiropractic Adjustment Working / Worked
- igo 1xawk
- Cortisone (Injection) Somewhat Helpful
- hlps right away then wears off
- Hydrocodone Working / Worked
- needevery4hours
- Ibuprofen Working / Worked
- this is to help with swelling
- Physical Therapy Working / Worked
- helped alot i have better range of motion
- Stretching Working / Worked
- cant move until i stretch
- TENS Working / Worked
- works only with it on which i burnt myself for leaving it on to long
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- im too stressed and fearful from being beat up at work
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
ive been beatenand raped at a young age of 3 i no longer have any extended family my mom allowed marv to rape me so i dont have any conntact with her ive tried 2 times now to kill myself i dont feel like that anymore
Treatments
- Group Therapy Working / Worked
- took a belt and beat the pillow
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- i see a therapist 1 x a wk. she is great
Open Bereavement
ive lost my grandma and grandpa and my best friend terry
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- on the anniversary of their death and their birthdays i cry sometimes i cry just missing them so much
- Grief Counseling Working / Worked
- i was in therapy when terry died
- Music Working / Worked
- i listen to the music they enjoyed and still sing the nursery rhymms i nana taught me
- Pets Working / Worked
- ihave my cat amber and 2 dogs ali and mason
- Prayer Working / Worked
- i pray daily
- Remembering Working / Worked
- i put together a gold colored box with a lid on it and have all my nana and tatas belongings in there i take it out from under my bed a look at all the gifts they left me
Open Grandparents Raising Children
my granddaughter is in a foster home do i fight for her and raise her my self
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