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pinkfaerie's Journal

Journal Entry for December 20, 2007 Mood

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I have a horrible cold and feel a bit crap. There's christmas music playing all the time and it just reminds me of Nathan and how much i miss him and how much i wish i was with him. I love him so much:(

I recieved a parcel today with two books in it (ordered from amazon) I hadn't ordered them....it came with a note saying "happy christmas Laura x Nate" wasn't exactly expecting that ....it was nice just very unexpected. I've now found out that that is the the only christmas shopping he has done so far.... idon't know what any of this means....that's what's confusing and kinda hurts the most.

I just wish i knew what was going to happen?!?! Is this what he wants to do now or does he want me? I wish i knew.

I feel really unsure right now of how i'm feeling, it's really upsetting me. I feel like i'm really alone and i don't want to do things....i'm worrying about this extra bar job i have taken on, i'm thinking i don't really want to do it anymore....i don't know why?!? I feel so sad about it, i just want to lock myself away and sleep for a while. It makes me sad that Nathans is filling his time with things and forgetting about me.....that's how it seems i just want to cry:(

Hug pinkf...

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Comments

Trust me, I know this is particularly difficult during this time of season, but you can get through it. If you need to vent, just let me know. I hope your day is a good one :) cya

leepr
Aww...life sucks sometimes, and I have a feeling that if YOU are confused, that's nothing to what Nathan's feeling. Remember, he isn't in control of his moods...that's why it might just be best to remove yourself from their path until he gets them under control.

I know what it's like not being able to trust anything he says or anything that you feel inside...it's horrible. Think about you and take care of you...he is a big boy and can take care of himself. I know you want to be there for him and that you need him to know how much you love him (trust me, I know), but he might just not be receptive to that right now.

Feel better, hugs!

missfits