MinnesotanMommy's Journal

 

I don't have resolutions for a new year coming on. I never do. I used to. But it never works for me. I break them and then get mad cuz I couldn't do it. So this year, I'm just going to make basic, simple goals. My main goal is to work towards good health. I got the gastric bypass surgery to meet this goal of mine long term. This surgery is only a tool and will only work as well as I work it. It's like building something that you need a drill for. The drill won't work until you know how to work it and do work it. Same with the gastric bypass. It'll work if I know how to use it (which I'm learning more and more all the time and know enough to keep myself going at a given time) and if I actually apply what I'm learning. Sometimes I slip and slide in my food or fall into justifying an added low calorie snack I didn't need, but I catch myself and pick myself up and start again. After my last extra low calorie snack, I was called out by a good friend on it and have since improved with no issues. My meal plan has improved, I'm very consious of what I'm eating and really work towards improvement. I started to track my diet on sparkpeople.com . It's an awesome site! I really love it. It's got support forums to participate in, I can track my diet, exercise and goals on it as well. I just like how the site is set up. And if a food item that I want to enter isn't on their list (which they have an extensive list of foods), I am able to enter the food item with it's nutritional information. I love it. I've tried a few sites already, and so far, this one, by far, is the one I've liked the best as far as set up goes. I got some Diet Peach Tea and am just excited over this. I was getting sick of my sugar free Kool-Aid and I don't like Crystal Lite anymore. I used to be so gung ho into it, but since surgery it doesn't even taste good. So now I drink Sugar Free Kool-Aid and Diet Peach Tea. I'm in love with my peach tea though. I get it at Walmart. Never thought I'd like it, but I love peach flavoring and peaches, so thought I'd try it. I'm going to be drained dry financially this coming month. I have to order protein supplements, a vitamin, a medical alert bracelet, and then pay the clinic a bit to keep them off our back, and then our phone/internet bill which includes the instalation of a separate phone line, plus our Dish bill. I told Carl all of that isn't gonna be possible on my check, but that I'll pay out what I can and then he'll have to kick in the rest. I am, however, as my own treat, and because I'm anal about it, getting my eyebrows done. I was gonna get them done before surgery and never did. So, as my reward for almost 50 pounds off, I'm getting my eyebrows shaped again. I know it sounds funny that I'd do something painful to reward myself, but to me it's kinda a luxery because it makes me look nicer, and with the weight loss off the face a little now, I think it'll help put some focus on my eyes because they're pretty deep set as it is, and I happen to like my eye shape so I wouldn't mind some focus on my eyes instead of my nasty eyebrows. I get a unibrow if I don't keep them up and CAN NOT stand it. I feel like a nasty something or other, so I try to get them done at least once a month, every two months at most, but it's been since like the start of October, I think, since I've had them done, and while they aren't at unibrow status, they certainly look icky cuz they're so nasty, at least to me. My sister says I obsess about them too much. But I just do. I can't stand having stray hairs, and I can't seem to pluck on my own cuz I get mad if I can't grab onto a hair with the tweezers and pull it. So I just let it go a month or so and then have waxed. I'm waiting to hit my 100 pound loss mark. I'm aiming for a six month mark in meeting that. I did 44 pounds in 5 weeks, so I think 100 pounds in six months will probably be reasonable. Not sure what kind of weight loss goal I'll set for the next hundred after that though as I know the closer to a year out I get from sugery, the slower my weight loss will go. So I just have to be careful and stick to my food plan and get the exercise in. But that's neither here nor there. I'm doing well though. I'm on day two of taking all my meds consistently and it's making a difference. I'm  still a bit irritable, but that's to be expected because my med levels are still low. It'll take me at least a week, likely two weeks to level them off to a good level so I am back to par again. I decided to go to individual yogurt cups that are 6 ounces each. I got sugar free ones, so the calories on them are low, and they have some good flavors. I decided I was probably just sick of the same old vanilla yogurt that I'd had for a month straight, so I got some other flavors and so far so good. I'm eager to try the banana coconut flavor I got though! Oh! Tonight while Carl and I were at Walmart, well, walking in, I  had observed that I was able to keep up with him walking for the first time in years! I made mention of it and that I was actually proud of myself cuz I haven't been able to do that in years and he said I was doing good. It really made me feel good. I told him if only my legs were a couple inches longer, I could keep up with him, but because I've got shorter legs, it's hard for me to keep up with him on just walking pace. But it was exciting for me to notice that I can finally keep up with him after so long! I am so glad I had this surgery. It's made the biggest difference in my life! I feel better, I'm on next to no meds, I can move again, I sleep better (when my ass doesn't hurt from sitting in my recliner), I have more energy. Just so many things. The reason I mentioned my ass hurting from sitting is cuz they say when you're heavy  you have a cushioning on your tailbone and as you drop the weight, it comes off around the tailbone too and you start to feel it when you sit. Holy hell do I notice it.  Just a half hour of sitting makes me hurt now and I end up getting up slowly cuz it's hard and painful on me to move after that. I know I'll adjust. I told Carl tonight I don't know how an average weight person can stand sitting. LOL. I'm not even average weight and my ass (well, by the tailbone) hurts from sitting. How an average weight person can sit and not be in constant pain is beyond me. Haha. It's funny watching my body do "normal" things that the average weight person does. Like sitting on a tailbone without so much fat around it. LOL. Tying my shoes. Showering without a shower chair. Cooking a full meal. Shopping with a cart I can walk behind. Wanting to park away from the close spots at a store so I can get a little exercise in. I love to shop just cuz I can walk and look at things I wanna look at. It's enjoyable. I  don't even have to spend any money, or very little when I do, and I'm happy, just cuz I enjoy being able to move so much that I can walk around. Granted I grab a cart cuz it is easier to walk if my feet or back gets tired after a while, but it beats how I felt before and having to be miserable moving at all. I love being able to roll from my back to side in bed now. Granted, I've gotten so used to laying on my back I don't move too much too often. And I don't stay in bed for more then two or three hours anyhow. I dunno why. I just wake up and go to my recliner. My body is probably adjusted to sleeping in that recliner so I just wake to move there. Once I'm there, I sleep for a good five hours on average. But then again, I've been snoozing in a recliner now for a couple years or so. I'm used to it and so is my body. But anyhow, I'm cold as hell and wanna get under a blanket. We were gone and the wood stove went down and Carl has it going again, but I'm still cold. My fingers, toes and nose are froze like I'm outside. So I'm off to sit in my recliner and hopefully make it to midnight, but I probably won't. I suck that way now. Since surgery I can sleep earlier then ever and don't wake enough at night to stay up. I'll probably miss the ball drop in Times Square which'll suck cuz I've watched it for years. But at least I'm healthy and sleeping more as a result. I'm off to snuggle under my blanket and kill some time until it's time for my meds and snack.