Journal Entry for November 25, 2007
November 25, 2007 3:12pm
Why have the Varmints gone?
Can anyone enlighten me?
hell’s Profile
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hell
is feeling Bad
About Me
Diagnosed CPTSD, clinical depression, major anxiety with panic attacks i am also a cutter of 20 years. I find each day a struggle, but if i've learnt anything it's that meds and therapy do help. I would love to find the magic wand that'll take away my dibilitating illnesses, but i know there is not. All i hope for is that my son has a happier life than me. He is 4 yrs old and my light in the dark. He gives me the drive to get better and to live. Oh and I'm a single parent.
Interests
Used to have some, but except for my computer not many these days. I love to get out and about if I can, go riding or walking but it's not possible at the moment as i am agorophobic
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for November 9, 2007
November 9, 2007 9:28pm
Sorry i have been so quiet recently......umm well i've been okay with my med change and all of a sudden i've had a massive drop again. …
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This entry is private
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Hug
Giving you a BIG HUG today, and always...you are a GREAT friend and I am blessed to have you in my life....lots of luv!!! xoxoo
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Hug
hey im on citalopram and diazapam althogh im watching how many diazapam i take and my panic attacks are not good .i hope your doing as well as you can and taking care . huggs darren
Hug
Hugs to you. Hope to talk to you soon.
Flower
hi hon talk to me any time 07985274572
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Photos
hell hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionHi, I'm Helen and i am clinically depressed have PTSD and major anxiety with panic attacks, so pretty normal then! (NOT) I take celexa and diazepam. I see a councillor, a psychologist and a psychotherapist. I am not well. I really need support from people who know and understand how i feel because they feel the same at times, so here i am.....
Treatments
- Celexa Working / Worked
- Have been taking these over two years and was feeling so fine i decided i didn't need them any more and went cold turkey. Huge mistake. DON'T CT CELEXA, it causes terrible dizziness, nausea and generally ill physically and mentally. Now i've restarted them I've got to wait to get back to where I was urgh....so at the moment I feel really depressed while i wait for it to kick-in again. Obviously it was working particulary well!!
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
- Helping but slow process
- Meditation Working / Worked
- Only able to do with therapists help, it works then, but I can't take my therapist home and can't get into the 'zone' with out hearing his voice not mine
- Positive Thinking Considering
- Can't keep it up! Fine to have a load of positive affirmations to draw upon but i ALWAYS seem to end up back in the negative thought pattern
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Great so far this is a private practioner i see and has given the most help to date.
- Writing Working / Worked
- Poetry - helps me vent some of those inner feelings
- Psychotherapy Considering
- NHS UK need i say more? Had a change of psychologist halfway thro treatment. New psychologist cancelled her appointment with me because she's ill and they don't know when i'm gonna get another appointment
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Going OK
- Valium Working / Worked
- Works to alleviate stress from being so depressed for so long, but it was prescribed more for my other illnesses (PTSD, major anxiety with panic attacks.
Close Panic Attacks
Yes, I get them too!
Treatments
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- Works with the therapist, but i can't put it into practice at home!!
- Patience Not Working
- How long?
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- Can't do it. Post as many positive affirmations round my house as you lke, but my brain still puts the negative first
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Great but only cause he private!! Not NHS!
- Valium Working / Worked
- Well it works but i want Xanax and the doctor won't let me have them!!
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- OK helps as an on-going support between seeing psychs
Open Anxiety
Forever restless, always worried about something or somebody, i jump from one 'crisis' to another. The anxiety raises to panic attacks at times until the event which is never as bad as i have perceived it to be, but it doesn't stop me from constantly butterflying in my stomach. I have passed out from hyperventillating and i get terrible treamors!!
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful
- hard to do in the moment
- Breathwork Somewhat Helpful
- hard to control sometimes
- Hypnotherapy Considering
- My psychotherapist practices clinical hypnosis but i'm still deciding on weather i want this treatment
- Meditation Too Soon to Tell
- well i could do it in my therapists room with him talking, but I can't seem to talk to myself in the same way!!!!
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- Negative outweighs the positive at the moment, and i an't seem to change that!!
- Valium Working / Worked
- well it does what it's supposed to do, but i'm now an addict!
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Private practioner, the best support and advise i get
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- NHS UK need i say more? You wait a load of months, get one for 3 months and get refered to another who falls ill and can not give me any idea of when i'll get another appointment
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- helpful for on-going advise between seeing psychs
- Celexa Somewhat Helpful
- I take these for my depression, but they are anti-anxiety SSRIs and they do help alongside the vallium
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
sexually abused from the age of 6 until i was 14 by my brother. Abusive relationship for 8 years. I have recently been told i have Complex PTSD....great that makes it much harder to treat apparently!
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- so far so good....but i pay to see a private specialised practioner
- Celexa Working / Worked
- good for associated depression and help reduce stress/anxiety 40mg's daily. upset stommach for first few weeks.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Too Soon to Tell
- Just started with psychotherapist
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- helps at times depending on the severity of the stress
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- so far so good....but i pay to see a private specialised practioner
- Supportive Care Working / Worked
- counsellor, whom i see regularly that i talk to between psychs appointments. Good for support.
- Talking Too Soon to Tell
- Am in the process of telling all to my computer and professionals. I have some friends that know too, but i don't want to talk too much about it to them
- Valium Working / Worked
- fine until you become addicted!!
Open Self-Injury
20 years cutting
Treatments
- Outpatient Treatment Program Too Soon to Tell
- seeing a psycologist
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Only just seen him once but he seemed quite good
- Rubber Bands Working / Worked
- yea 7 weeks now no cutting, but i think about it still all the time
- Talking Not Working
- non-self harmers find this one of the hardest illnesses so i hide my cuts and don't tell anyone
- Valium Somewhat Helpful
- helps in the fact it reduces those stress levels but addictive and I am now an addict
- Celexa Somewhat Helpful
- I'm not convinced this is the correct med for me, but my doc is reluctant to change
Open Sexual Abuse
Abused by my brother from 7-14, and was first mollested at 6. I am 35 now and have PTSD
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- slow progress but i am hopeful
- Celexa Working / Worked
- Both these meds are prescribed to me because i have PTSD from this experience
Open Eating Disorders
Have had wierd eating patterns since i was 14. When I get very depressed i start to make myself sick. It's a form of self-control, when i feel out of control
Treatments
- Celexa Working / Worked
- Have been ok for the 2 tears I have been taking this, although I have found it made me loose wieght and I still go on starvation weeks
- Outpatient Treatment Program Too Soon to Tell
- Working with a psyhcologist from the hospital
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Just started seeing a private psychotherapist who seems great
Open Stress Management
I'm always stressed or anxious about something. My life goes from one drama to another, and if not,i'll make a drama. It's so annoying, i just wish i could break the cycle
Treatments
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- At times it can work, depending on how stressed i've got!!
- Physical Exercise Not Working
- Tried it, just made me feel tired, more tired than i usually do!!
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Too soon to tell, still working on this one
Open Cocaine Addiction & Recovery
The bain of my life. I would love to walk away from the stuff but when i feel really depressed it makes me feel better. ARGH!! I so wish it didn't. I am also a crack addict, although it's rare I have any these days.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- My councillor has given me a number of a support group to help me with this but i'm not sure about this group therapy thing
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Well, they're trying to reduce my levels of anxiety and depression first...?!
Open Female Sexual Issues
I have always had a problem with sex, ever since i was abused as a child. Basically i hate it.
Open Marijuana Addiction & Recovery
Smoked 24/7 since I was 17 am 35 now. My ex is about to get sent to prison for growing the stuff! I started my drug habit with cannabis, i've managed to get control over my cocaine addiction, but cannabis has/is the hardest. I climb the walls without it.
Treatments
- Cold Turkey Working / Worked
- Try and keep on trying but always fail. Longest I've managed to go without in nearly 20 years is 3 months.
- Valium Working / Worked
- Prescibed by the doctor to try and help me stop!!! Now i'm a valium addict as well!! (Thanks Doc!)
Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery
35 can't stop. Hate being addicted. Goes hand in hand with my marijuana addiction
Open Insomnia
My sleep has been all over the place for years....sometimes ok but most of the time I JUST CAN'T SLEEP, especially relating to my PTSD which makes me frightened to sleep because of the nightmares
Treatments
- Lavender Somewhat Helpful
- yea a nice smelly, can't say it helps me to sleep though!!
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- I've got a 'noise box' that gives off a choice of sonuds, supposed to aid sleep. Sometimes iy works, mostlt it doesn't
- Valium Working / Worked
- Yea well it works if I take a load, but I take it all day anyway due to my anxiety so when it comes to getting to sleep i have to take at least 20mg's for it to have an effect. Plus I'm now a valium addict-great!! (NOT)
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- yea? I don't sleep better because of it!!
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Snapshot
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