tcoburn's Journal

I just wanted to post an update as to whats going on in my little corner of the world.  Seems like my entire week has been co-op, chatting to my true love, eat, sleep, and diarrhea thats it. hehe

Unfortunately, for my co-op job, I have to be there at 8am, and it takes me an hour to walk there from here. I don't want to take a taxi back and forth because I'm not getting paid to cover the cost of transportation.  Today I got off at 1:30p, by the time I ate for the first time today, had a good diarrhea episode, lol, and turned on my computer, its already 3pm, which leaves me only 6 hours before my true love logs on tonight. Lastnight I got maybe, an hours sleep if even that.  Once I got to talking to her, I just couldn't let go.  I feel like a teenager again when I'm with her, busting with cuteness like couples do when there first starting out.   It always feels so good when you start out, the day dreams, can't stop thinking about her all day,  you know busting with cuteness, hehe, but I'm afraid sometimes I'm getting a little too close, unless I'm prepared to cry my eyes out, and if this girl ever left me, I don't think I could handle it,  I never thought I'd get this attached to her. 

Don't get me wrong, thats a good thing, a VERY good thing, but seeing as how I've been hurt so many times before, I'm taking an awfly big risk, but this girl is SO worth it. She's on my mind 24/7, I don't care what she looks like or sounds like, none of that matters to me, its whats in her heart that matters, and I've never felt this happy with anyone in all my life, not even with anyone in person.  I just hope it doesn't end up being too good to be true, because frankly, I can't handle anothe heartbreak, I just can't.... 

I know in my heart she is beautiful, and thats all I need to know.  and ya know what the best part is? We have like everything in common, we finish eachothers sentences, we have the same interests and think so much alike,  its really the greatest feeling.  How could I even think about another girl, when I've got her.

I do know, ever since she started talking to me, I've been flooded with Messages from girls on here who suddenly out of the blue want to be my friend, not just any girls but these swimsuit model types, and i'm thinking "what the heck is going on here, is someone playing a joke on me by logging in as multiple people just to catch me doing something wrong" I mean, thats what it feels like... because most of my REAL friends on here know I have no friends at all who talk to me regularily, so being flooded with 20+ all at once makes me suspicious alone.

Well, like I told her yesterday though when all of it started, they can do that all they want, I'll play along, even though I "always" know. I have the strength of Empathy, I can tell when someones lying to me or playing me for a food, they don't think I can??   but oh well, once they get to know me and find out I'm a true kind hearted loving person, who would never hurt a fly, then they'll stop with their stupid jokes and leave us be, because I would never hurt my girl even if you paid me a billion dollars..

Besides, I love her soo much, its like, I don't care about anything as long as she is happy. Even if its not with me, if that is her choice, as long as she is happy thats all that matters to me. All I want to do is see her happy, if that isn't true love, I don't know what is. I know its soo much more then that, but words cannot even begin to express how I feel in my heart.

On a coclusive note, my crohns has been acting up again, but ya know something? even if I was bleeding out both ends in constant plain, talking to her makes me forget about the pain, forget about the stresses of life, I forget about everything when I'm talking to her :)  how pathetic is that eh?