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The Wife's Cat! Mood
Thursday, July 10, 2008 | A Funny story
The Wife's Cat! 

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put the little fur ball on the phone, I'm lost and need directions."

 
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Comments

  1. chipchip

    why dint he tie a good-size rock on the cats neck & toss it off a bridge???


    chipchip

  2. KCJ

    LOL that figures doesn't it - "The Cat Came Back" - is that a song or something? Those words kept coming to mind as I read this


    KCJ

  3. KristiKat

    The Cat Came Back
    Written By: Harry S. Miller (with later folk additions,
    Copyright Unknown

    Old Mister Johnson had troubles of his own
    He had a yellow cat which wouldn't leave its home;
    He tried and he tried to give the cat away,
    He gave it to a man goin' far, far away.

    But the cat came back the very next day,
    The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
    But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
    Away, away, yea, yea, yea

    The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight,
    He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite;
    He waited and he waited for the cat to come around,
    Ninety seven pieces of the man is all they found.

    But the cat came back the very next day,
    The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
    But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
    Away, away, yea, yea, yea

    He gave it to a little boy with a dollar note,
    Told him for to take it up the river in a boat;
    They tied a rope around its neck, it must have weighed a pound
    Now they drag the river for a little boy that's drowned.

    But the cat came back the very next day,
    The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
    But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
    Away, away, yea, yea, yea

    He gave it to a man going up in a balloon,
    He told him for to take it to the man in the moon;
    The balloon came down about ninety miles away,
    Where he is now, well I dare not say.

    But the cat came back the very next day,
    The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
    But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
    Away, away, yea, yea, yea

    He gave it to a man going way out West,
    Told him for to take it to the one he loved the best;
    First the train hit the curve, then it jumped the rail,
    Not a soul was left behind to tell the gruesome tale.

    But the cat came back the very next day,
    The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
    But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
    Away, away, yea, yea, yea

    The cat it had some company one night out in the yard,
    Someone threw a boot-jack, and they threw it mighty hard;
    It caught the cat behind the ear, she thought it rather slight,
    When along came a brick-bat and knocked the cat out of sight

    But the cat came back the very next day,
    The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
    But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
    Away, away, yea, yea, yea

    Away across the ocean they did send the cat at last,
    Vessel only out a day and making water fast;
    People all began to pray, the boat began to toss,
    A great big gust of wind came by and every soul was lost.

    But the cat came back the very next day,
    The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
    But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
    Away, away, yea, yea, yea

    On a telegraph wire, sparrows sitting in a bunch,
    The cat was feeling hungry, thought she'd like 'em for a lunch;
    Climbing softly up the pole, and when she reached the top,
    Put her foot upon the electric wire, which tied her in a knot.

    But the cat came back the very next day,
    The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
    But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
    Away, away, yea, yea, yea

    The cat was a possessor of a family of its own,
    With seven little kittens till there came a cyclone;
    Blew the houses all apart and tossed the cat around,
    The air was full of kittens, and not a one was ever found.

    But the cat came back the very next day,
    The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
    But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
    Away, away, yea, yea, yea

    The atom bomb fell just the other day,
    The H-Bomb fell in the very same way;
    Russia went, England went, and then the U.S.A.
    The human race was finished without a chance to pray.

    But the cat came back the very next day,
    The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
    But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
    Away, away, yea, yea, yea


    KristiKat

  4. dungeonmaster

    Too funny


    dungeonmaster

  5. Survivable

    Thanks for the comments. :) hehe, I love this cat.


    Survivable

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