tearsofblood's Journal

*possibly triggering*

So, i was watching this movie and in in the end the girl kills herself by cutting her wrist. So i was really triggered and in a bad state of mind. So i called my mom beause i said i would, and she was like asking about my depression, and i dont like talking about that with her. And then she said she wont sign my loan for school if i dotn start taking vitamins. And im so sick of this shit, every time i call shes telling me what to do. I know she cares, but what right does she to control wether or not i get to finish school. Shes such a bitch, ive worked so hard. Im so pissed.  If i dont get that money i wont be able to afford to go to school, i hate her so much. So then i called my friend to talk because i needed someone to talk to and he has company so she couldnt talk.  And my bf is camping, so I have NO ONE to talk to. And im in a really bad place right now, i dont even know what to do with myself. Sometimes I think the girl in the movie had the right idea. So sick of dealing with this bs. And then my grandmas very sick and might die soon. I cant handle it all, i want to cut so bad and let it all out. AHHHHHHHHH!!!