I am here to share my story, not glamorous and not proud of it and the fact that I allowed it to happen hurts me. I met my DAH (dumbass husband) through a mutual friend in the town we grew up. It started when we were dating, but I didn't notice, I was too in love. He always had a word on what I was wearing or controlled the situation. It didn't seem bad then until we got married and after a few years. It started with how i had my hair, my clothes, how often i saw my family, what job i had, the kids were his decision, I agreed, it was decided how long i would work, it was even how much time i spent with his family. i am ashamed that i couldn't stop it and still haven't stopped it, 22 years. He controlled who I talked to, where I went, clothes I wear, how my hair looks.

Last week, I had straightened my hair while he was out of town I liked how it looked. So the next day I straightened it again after he got home, he walked in the house, looked at me, said fix my hair, I hate it. I said no I like it. He argued with me for about 10 minutes on this that I was trying to look like my neighbor, i said no i like the way it looks. (i have a dead perm) He left the room, came back to the kitchen for dinner and looked at me after dinner and he said i need to fix it making him sick. To avoid any further confrontation i went ahead and fixed my hair.

I was told yesterday to stop doing my nails, but yet he wants them like this so i can "scratch" him. Just thinking of all this gets my anxiety up...I am watched on finances because i ran up credit card bills secretly for shopping for things he wouldn't let me buy so i'm not allowed to get the mail on my own in case i'm hiding something. he thinks i'm up to something all the time...well maybe, but figure if he controls me i'll make him paranoid..:)

so that's basically my story. told how to parent, how to do this and that..i feel so insignificant and frustrated and fed up...