Discussion Topic

I'm new to this group

Posted on 03/31/08, 05:26 pm

Hi there I'm new to this group. Actually I'm kind of new to a lot of things. I ended in a Women's Federal Prison camp because of a controlling boss who I finally blew the whistle on after he diverted 26 million into his personal account. I'm currently in a relationship with a man 14 years younger than me, and is very controlling, and reminds me constantly that he stood by me the entire time I went through court and prison. I'd like to break the cycle of codependency. But there are no support groups like CODA in my area.

Showing 4 Replies

Reply #1 03/31/08 6:00pm

LostinAllthis

Their is a great book and even an audio CD you can play to a book called
" Codependency no more". I read it nightly and keep a journal where I can take notes on where in my life the chapter related to my past, my present, and what differences I can make in the future. ( its a start).

I get extremely tired of trying to FIX the Controlling people in my life. Very exhausting. Time to Control only, MY LIFE. Book is Great and is only a suggestion.

Therapist told me, that the first step in taking control of the codependency in any relationship, is admitting and reconition of codependency.
Step #2. learning to allow others to handle their own problems, no more trying to fix it, my new motto," How do you plan to handle that?"

Welcome to the Group..... really glad you made the choice to have something different.
Reply #2 04/01/08 9:55am

Deekers7

Thanks, I'm going to find that book (can't afford to buy it brand new). I've read it before but not recently. I've been a codependent individual for a very long time and its time for me to break the cycle.
Reply #3 04/13/08 2:24pm

julies3

Hi, am new to all of this too, I have been in a 17 yr marrage, and just 3 weeks ago, I finally took control of myself only, and asked him to leave. now am tring to gain control of my life again. I have been reading to book co dependent no more, and that has helped me to see that I muct detach myself from him. Am just looking for some support, from other strong woman who have already been down this road! Julie
Reply #4 04/13/08 3:10pm

Deekers7

Hi, I've found 2 other codependent books as well as Codependent No More, reading has helped as it will you. I'm still in my relationship with my boyfriend who likes to controlling, but I've set boundaries, and I'm no longer enabling him...I used to rush and buy him beer whenever he was in his "funk", that's what he describes when he's sobering up, and grouchy. If you need support, this is a great forum to find it, it certainly is helping me. Keep reading and journaling.."this too shall pass".