HollyNKelley

Feeling Beautiful

Posted on 07/24/08, 02:19 pm

All my life, certain family members have tried to convince me that I'm pretty, beautiful, etc.
But.....I just don't see it.
I can spend hours pointing out all my flaws.

My wonderful boyfriend Sam is starting to get frustrated at me. Cause to him, he sees the beautiful girl who doesn't recognize it. He even made me cry the other day when he mentioned he heard a song that reminded him of me. (She don't she's beautiful)

But.....I'm starting to feel like I am at least decent for the public, but....I feel that if I say "Yeah, I'm pretty" people will think I'm conceited or prideful.

What can I do?

• Reply #1 07/25/08  10:48am
  
  Cal8889
  Well, what you can do depends on what your goal is.
  
  If your goal is to feel beautiful, then there is a lot you can do.
  
  Growing up I always felt really ugly. My dad would frequently tell me that I was ugly. Whenever people outside my family would tell me I was a pretty girl, he would quickly correct them to say I was funny looking.
  
  In high school when people would compliment my appearance I would argue with them! "No, I'm not. I"M UGLY!" Then I'd say everything about my body that I didn't like. Finally, my grandmother said, "Just say 'Thank you.'"
  
  But I didn't start to feel beautiful until after my divorce. I just started dressing in whatever way I felt like, but not obsessing about my appearance or putting my work into it. I felt more like myself. I started to like what I saw in the mirror for the first time.
  
  It's not really appropriate in our culture to say, "I'm beautiful." But I think it is really healthy to feel like you love yourself. And have compassion and forgiveness for the things about your body that are less than "perfect."
  
  I think it's great if you can appreciate the great things about your body while your still young. I can't believe how hard I was on myself when I was in my teens and 20s. I didn't appreciate the great things about being young while I still had them!
  
  If you want to feel beautiful, you can start just saying, "Thank you" when people compliment you. And thinking or saying, "I love you" when you look in the mirror. That creates some of the most powerful healing for self-criticism that there is.
• Reply #2 07/25/08  10:55am
  
  dolphins138
  Well sweety from the pic of you that i see. You are beutiful. You can just say thank you when people tell you that and injoy the complments that don't mean you conceited. That just means your billding yourself asteam.. Theres A differants. You should be Alittle pridfull theres nothing wrong with that. Having a little confidence in yourself is A good thing it helps keep you fromdepression.I know I have no confidence.. you can ruin your relationship thow if you keep blowing off yourmans complement.because if you keep not beleaving him he will stop complimenting you and that will hurt because you will start thinking negative about you and him.. good luck.xxxx
• Reply #3 07/25/08  1:05pm
  
  HollyNKelley
  Thanks for the advice........it's going to be a long road, but with having help like this, I'm sure it will be a lot easier to travel down then going alone. I've had episodes where I felt good about myself, but then little things would bring me back to square one, depressed and feeling totally ugly and useless. But there was this one thing that I read...it was awkward, and I'm not sure if I want to try it. It's this article that was talking about different home things to use to make you feel good about yourself..........and the one that stood out to me was talking about after you get done taking a shower, dry yourself off and walk around the house naked. Somehow it seems like it would work, I mean you have to be confident to walk around your house sky clad style. But the only time I get naked is in the shower, and I still hate that........I don't know.
• Reply #4 07/26/08  4:19am
  
  kristycluel...
  If they say you're conceited or prideful then you tell 'em "Yah? WITH GOOD REASON." and then you tell 'em to suck it. If they dont like it they'll usually stop talking to you and then your problem is solved! Works for me. ;)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I'm not kidding.
• Reply #5 07/26/08  7:56pm
  
  HollyNKelley
  I'll keep that in mind.......cause, usually, when I get mad....all shyness goes out the window, and the total......*ITCH takes over...so, that's probably what will happen.
• Reply #6 07/29/08  8:00am
  
  kristycluel...
  Threatening your sense of self worth is the ultimate reason to get mad and turn into Queen Bitch of Bitch Mountain. So ya see, there's your perfect solution!@
• Reply #7 07/30/08  7:23pm
  
  HollyNKelley
  Yeah......but I'm not sure if when the time comes, I can be that ......good.
• Reply #8 08/01/08  3:06am
  
  kristycluel...
  Why couldnt you? There should be nothing stopping you from being "that good" if you want to be. Nothing.

Women helping women with there female issues, problems, giving advice, just overall helping each other with daily struggles. Relationships, rape, men, drugs, addictions, STD's, pregnancy, family, friends, ect. Anything you want to talk about, open to all discussions.