Discussion Topic

I was on a roll having two boyfriends just for a day

Posted on 07/20/08, 02:41 pm

Hahaha yeah yeah.
I'm such a pimp bitch
but nah
Went to visit the boyfriend
was having a sucky time
realized i no longer have feelings for him
so i decided to leave and see another guy i really liked
and yeh
so for a day that was it
next day broke up with him
than he tries to make me feel bad with
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?
I'm thinking look fucker
your the one who kept pushing me moving there live marry and have kids?
So young and no such thing will be happening
im not ready for anything i realized just found out that i have this illness
and he is Bp to and i thought it was going to be a good idea
but i was so wrong
he was just too clingy and just to lovey dovey for me
but what should of i expected he's a kid?
i mean i was scared to break up with him
and i know i had to do it cause i didnt have the same feelings
why lead someone on you know?
I dunno i dunno u dunno
i'm a mess
is this what being bp is like?
i'm i starting to realize who i am?
its kinda scarey
I basically cheated because i was scared to break up with him and obviously didnt care bout his feelings too much
am I a bitch for that?
classified bitch?
hahaha
i dunno i dunno i dunno anything
i do fucked up things sometimes but not always on purpose
and than im just emotionless to the fact of what i just did.
and this is when i realize im such a horrible person
lol
aint it funny to be this crazy with such a disease
which you thought was really just your personality? who you really are for what you see and feel?
knowing you are both a nice person and can be mean?
depending on what mood im in and how i feel?
im pretty new to this still and partially in denial
and its funny how many people just get looked at differently
and dont know they are diseased

Showing 5 Replies

Reply #1 07/20/08 5:07pm

Jagiello52

Had a married lady girlfriend and a single girl friend and then met nuther lady at a singles bar. So I was 28 and we all had a great time.
Reply #2 07/21/08 12:05pm

imahypercon...

i feel like you thought i was just me been told i have a mood disorder and wat it does this answerd a lot of questions for me about my life

oh well nevermind
Reply #3 07/23/08 2:51am

Ameliemaloo

you still ARE that person. bp doesnt take your personality away... it just causes you to act more freely.

BP is who you are.

And you're not a bitch, but bp wont make you afraid to end a relationship... that was you.

You will be able to distuinguish whats you and whats BP as you learn more about it I guess, but ultimately, you must always be responsible for your actions and try not to think like..

'this was me, and this was bp' like theres two of you.... or three.

There is one you that has a hard time, but you arent a bitch.

I have cheated on someone because i was too afraid to finish with them, knowing that the guilt of cheating would force me to finish with them the next day.

But at the end of the day, you gotta look out for number 1, especially when something is making you ill!

Treat BP as a gift... it makes you special.. more feeling than others... more to experience, more to live through... when you look back on your life in many years, you will be grateful for the strength you had to find to live with it and the fun it gave you.

Thats how I deal with it anyway....
Reply #4 07/23/08 3:00am

Ameliemaloo

I'm bblou btw x
Reply #5 07/23/08 2:09pm

SeaMoan87

Haha of course I still remember you as BBlou. : )
And thank you for that advice.....
really helps