Discussion Topic
FUCK THIS ILLNESS!!!!!
Posted on 07/16/08, 12:17 am
I am SO FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING BP! For just one fucking day I would like to know what it is like to not have to be depressed, or be manic, or be so fucking agitated that I want to go and start cutting again, or if I am stable, not have to fucking worry about the next time that I am going to be depressed or manic or agitated.....FUCK IT ALL!!!!! I WANT TO BE NORMAL! I WANT PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND ME! I AM TIRED OF BEING ALONE! I am FUCKING tired of taking medication that has so many side effects that I'm either a zombie or I get migraines or whatever....sometimes I'm so FUCKING tired of it I wish I was never born....I wish I could just go to sleep tonite and not wake up...EVER! FUCK FUCK FUCK I'm so agitated right now I want to cut so bad....my blades were the only thing that ever took the pain away and now that I don't have them, all that is left is an empty feeling inside that longs to be filled...I HATE IT! I DONT WANT TO BE BP ANYMORE! SOMEONE TAKE MY ILLNESS AWAY!!!
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Reply #11 07/18/08 10:29pm
You there have been many a times when I have felt exactly the same way. I do think my doctor rushed to say I had BP. -
Reply #12 07/18/08 10:30pm
You there have been many a times when I have felt exactly the same way. I do think my doctor rushed to say I had BP. -
Reply #13 07/18/08 10:30pm
You there have been many a times when I have felt exactly the same way. I do think my doctor rushed to say I had BP. -
Reply #14 07/22/08 11:49pm
I"M PISSED AGAIN! FUCK THIS ILLNESS EVEN MORE FOR MAKING ME FEEL WORTHLESS YET AGAIN! I AM TIRED OF HAVING DREAM AFTER DREAM DASHED BECAUSE OF BEING BIPOLAR! I JUST WANT TO DIE SO I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS FUCKING PAIN ANYMORE! -
Reply #15 07/23/08 2:58am
your a pumpkins fan...
"when your life is so so dreary, dream". Don't let ANYTHING ruin your dreams. BP jsut makes it take a bit longer to get what you want because what you want is always changing and you never know how you are going to feel. But when you get there, its so much more of an acheivement...
"And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will"
You have the strength in you to fight this bastard... someone said they wished it was something physical... pretend it is... if your'e competitive... which I am... see it as a challenge and dont let it win.
"The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you" -
Reply #16 07/23/08 6:00pm
I feel the same way. It sucks big donkey dicks BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
Reply #17 07/26/08 11:13pm
I agree I'm right there with you -
Reply #18 07/27/08 4:38am
If you really want relief God can help with that. A personal relationship with Jesus helps me almost all the time - except when I'm in depressions. I hope you all won't think I'm a freak for sharing that. I'm just genuinely trying to help.
I'm tired too, but screaming and swearing just don't help me. Unless I'm manic. Don't I sound like a typical beeper!!!! LoL.
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