im so fucking sick of taking my meds. before i was stable i was a fucking nutbag but at least i knew how to have some fun and live a fucking life. i had spirit when i was manic and now im so fucking dull i want to hang myself just for some fucking excitement. i used to be the life of the party and now i don't even have any fucking friends. i crashed hard and im dying to start living again .. i just don't know how the fuck to do it. im not going to hang myself and im not going to quit taking my meds.. i just need to fucking bitch about it for a while