Discussion Topic
Hanging out with my old drinking friends.
Posted on 06/26/08, 10:10 am
Hi everyone. 116 days sober here, but new to this group. I wonder if anyone else feels this way ... I have still been hanging out with my friends who drink - not nearly as much as I used to, but in hour or so increments of time. Instead of being a trigger for me to drink, I look at them (one friend in particular) and think, I never want to be like that again - She has actually strengthened my resolve not to drink!
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Reply #1 06/28/08 7:23pm
I would say it is probably still not the best idea. I have hung out with some people I drank with, but not while they are out drinking. Sounds pretty dangerous. -
Reply #2 06/29/08 1:28am
Like I said, I've done it in small increments of time - what I KNOW I can handle - and it's just at a friends house, not at a bar. Not yet - but I hope to be there one day. It's out there, alcohol, everywhere - I just make the choice not to partake in it. 118 days - no alcohol, and proud of it! -
Reply #3 07/31/08 8:57pm
I don't believe you have cut out all your "drinking buddies" at all. My only drinking buddy was the bottle or drink I had in front of me or stashed in a pocket bottle. It seems to me I was a bit isolated..if you can handle it, I say go for it...but leave the 1st drink alone. -
Reply #4 10/23/08 5:54am
i have a drinking buddy who i used to meet every thursday afternoon at a bar for drinks. I would come home intoxicated and my wife was infuriated. i haven't told him yet about my decision to stop drinking, but it will be interesting to see what happens to the friendship. Is it possible to remain friends with ex drinking buddies? -
Reply #5 10/23/08 12:01pm
It is possible for me - they are ALL very supportive of me. I think they'd fight me hard if I did decide to have a drink. Not that I EVER will.
I will say that for the first month or so I stayed away from them. I just didn't feel strong enough yet. But now I'm fine. If anything, I always have my car, and can leave if I get "squirelly".
I should also say that we don't "hang out" in a bar. This is at a friends house where others are drinking. I just don't partake.
If you ask someone from AA, I'm sure they will disagree with me.
I'm just telling you what has worked for me, personally.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do. -
Reply #6 10/23/08 4:52pm
I don't think hanging out whereever is bad if you have the right motivations. I think you need to remember that we are all suseptible. If you are truly alcoholic, you may be closer to a drink than you are allowing yourself to believe. -
Reply #7 10/24/08 4:00am
Hi, i just joined this group as well (probably looks like i'm stalking you, eh JanMichelle?). Just trying to find different groups to fit in. One of the biggest reasons for me not going to AA is their opinion that you have to rid yourself of these friends. My friends have stuck by me no matter how obnoxious i've been or how much i've isolated from them. They always love me and support me. It's up to me not to drink, not to avoid them because they can. That's what i beleive. -
Reply #8 10/24/08 9:26am
It's not a matter of avoiding them because they can drink. People suggest avoiding being around drinking for your own safety. It isn't for the sake of abandoning your friends and loved ones. All of my family, my boyfriend and many of my friends drink. And I don't avoid them. I don't go to drinking parties with them either though. It also sounds like you have either been to the wrong meetings or not stuck around long enough to hear that "they are only suggestions"
Do what you do, I'm just saying it seems like a thin reason to avoid AA. How long have you been sober on your own? Are you happy with your life? If you are satisfied with the answers to those questions, then I wouldn't worry about it too much either way.
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