for me its the idea of being the replacement, because i was born after luke died, and i dont fully belive i would have been born if luke hadnt actualy died, i also feel a sence of being hated by my older brother b/c i think he feels that im the replacement too, and yea, tahts it,
xxxx
Jo.
Discussion Topic
the biggest issue you have........
Posted on 03/28/08, 02:24 pm
What is the biggest issue being a sibling of a child who died from SIDS?
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Reply #1 03/28/08 2:28pm
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Reply #2 03/28/08 5:37pm
Wow how long after your brother's passing were you born? The reason I ask is because I recently found out I am having another baby and it would kill me for this child to think of itself as a replacement and if his/her siblings made that child EVER feel that way....God help them. Do your folks know you feel this way? -
Reply #3 03/28/08 6:10pm
luke died in may '89 and i was born july'90 so, very close age gap,
my parents have an idea i feel like this but they say i would have alway been born even if luke hadnt died, and they love me as much as they loved luke ans my other brother but it doesnt help with the ideas that are in ur head.
xxx
Jo. -
Reply #4 03/29/08 8:58am
Nicholas was supposed to be my last baby, but ya know what? Things change! It's okay. Hey I am going through pregnancy and labor and birth again because I want to. If anything, I am very excited about this baby. I am very sure your birth brought healing to the family. I am sure your older brother saw you getting extra attention while you were small. Of course you did, it isn't your fault. I am sure he was a small child too, I am sure he got jealous because he was too little to understand it all. I am sorry if he still is that way. Losing your own child is the absolute worst nightmare. I can tell you it shakes everything you ever believed in and everything you ever thought you were right down to the core. I am sure your birth brought so much joy to your parents and those who know them. You are your own person, have you and your brother ever seriously talked about things??? -
Reply #5 05/15/08 5:19pm
For me, it has to be the things people say about me. People don't even want to hang around me anymore! It's like they're scared of me! My friend's mother who I've known since preschool gives us the "death is contageous" look. Hehehe! We call her the Browning Mother! -
Reply #6 05/18/08 9:07am
Yes at LeosSissy, people can be stupid. Mainly because most people have little understanding that babies can suddenly die even in today's day and age. The media is great for showing every bad thing there is in the world, since there is so much we kind of get use to hearing it, so when a baby suddenly dies, many people just assume there was something sinister behind it. I babysat a child part time, his mother is a nurse, father a cop, both of these people should have an understanding of SIDS, however these people have chosen to avoid my husband and I like we have the plague, oh well they stink! I had family do something similar, they are no longer family to me!
Whe push comes to shove, we all know the truth, sometimes this just happens and it is awful. We just need to ignore the ignorant, they get power and make things up when they know it bothers us. You have nothing to be ashamed of, ignore them and hold that pretty head up high sweety! HUGS! -
Reply #7 10/20/08 5:51pm
the biggest issue i have is the fact that i have no one my age close to me who has experienced this before sooo im stuck another issue is god if he loved me he wouldnt want to see me hurt another issue is moving on my mom got her tubes tied and cant afford to get them un tied which means im not -
Reply #8 10/20/08 5:57pm
im not getting ani new lil bros ever im sad that armoni is in heavan and not here on earth with me it brakes my hurt to kno that i'll never see him again i have had thoughts of killing my self just to be close to him again but i kno that this is a very selfish thing to do i love my lil bro with all my soooo my biggest issue is that hes gone he wuz my life i stayed with him untill the day he came home from the hospital i was the first person to pick him up cause my mom had a c section soo now my whole life is gone
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