WELCOME TO THE LOVE ADDICTION FORUM....
Posted by snailmarks4u - 03/27/08, 01:03 amHello,
Thank you for joining the love addiction forum. I learned early on that my disease is emotional in nature and unless i address the core of the disease i will never break this cycle..I will celebrate 3 years clean on te 14th of april from substances, but this aspect of the disease escaped me for a long time. I new something was missing but could break through the denial to understand i was just manifesting my disease in the relationship realm. The fear of being alone and the fears of abandonment ruled my life. I had to do some childhood of orgin work in order to address these things and get comfortable in my own skin..The way my disease manifests itself is only a symptom of the much LARGER problem..I have a spiritual sickness that needs to be nurtured on a 1 day at a time basis. Most tend to overlook this aspect of the disease due to the pain that must be walked through..Hell i spent my whole life rnning from this pain..But i am here to tell you if addressed your life will become beyond your wildest dreams..I hope all get what there looking for and wish all of you good luck...
God bless
James
Hi JamesYou hit the nail on the head with your conclusion. It is a dis-ease and it is also spiritual by nature. A big emptiness in the pit of my stomach that I can for a short time fill up with drugs or booze or relationships...however in time it just gets worse the hole gets deeper there are not enough drugs or booze or enough things a lover etc. can do that will fill up that hole. Only God as I understand God can fill that hole that is inside me. However the first step in letting God in involves trust. And I cant trust God until I take care of my childhood of origin issues. Something I am working on now. I realize now that God for me when I was a child were my parents. And they were not very good parents tongue in cheek. I didnt trust them. How do I turn everything over to God until I deal with that and realize that God is trustworthy and a loving a forgiving God. Something my parents werent. After that I can develop faith and after that...a conscious contact with God as I understand God. I am looking forward to the growth. And I also am thankful for the pain I have recently experienced in a relationship that is over. Because without that pain I never would have started on the road to recovery. Meaning CODA etc. I have been a sober member of AA for 3 years. Cheers
Hereiaminvan