Discussion Topic
Here again!
Posted on 09/23/08, 12:05 pm
I ended another relationship last night. I am fighting regret this morning. It hurts to know I will be alone again. It was a toxic relationship and I am far better off without him - definently love avoidant and not giving me what I need. Luckily, it has only been a couple of months - not 15 years like the last big one. I guess that means I am learning from my mistakes and I should be proud of myself for that. Right this minute, all I am thinking of is how much I will miss the little day to day interactions with him that I like so much - sweet, funny text messages, calling just because he was thinking of me, making major efforts to fit me into his day because he wanted to see me. I guess that stuff had pretty much stopped anyway so it's not new today.....just final. I truly dread not having those little perks in my daily life. Unfortunately, the honeymoon always ends and reality rears it's ugly head and bites me.
Just needed to talk a little. Feeling alone and sad today. Trying hard to let my Higher Power have this one.
Just needed to talk a little. Feeling alone and sad today. Trying hard to let my Higher Power have this one.
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Reply #1 09/23/08 3:25pm
I know it hurts and I know how much you miss him. I'm sorry for your pain. Just keep reminding yourself of all the bad memories instead of the good ones. God is always with you, talk to him when you get sad and lonely. -
Reply #2 09/23/08 5:33pm
Good for you. You are getting better. I've done the same thing. The first one was 7 yrs, the second was 6 months, and the 3rd was only about a month. Eventually I will see it before I enter into a relationship with them. Good luck and stay strong! -
Reply #3 09/24/08 7:42pm
it's a process and you get better the longer you do it. turn it over and keep on keepin on!
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) -
Reply #4 09/24/08 8:25pm
Thanks all for the words of support and wisdom. It's hard to see the light at this point. I can honestly say that I am really shocked at how much I feel about this guy right now. I wasn't in love with him. He just made me feel special.....for a while. I really thought I could walk away and be right back where I was before I met him - at least reasonably quickly anyway. I really am very sad to not be seeing him anymore. I guess it's not him that I am sad about so much as the "feeling special" part that I am so desperately wanting. I know that's what everyone wants....I just don't get it anywhere else. Not from family, friends, or work. I even do a considerable amount of volunteer work in order to try to fill that need and it's not doing it for me anymore either. I'm not sure what to do about this. Right now, my sick thought process is wanting to call my alcoholic ex. He would be happy to tell me anything I want to hear. I know how dangerous that is and won't ever do it but that's how sick my thought process is right now. I'm way too isolated in the middle of a ton of people!
Again, thanks everyone. One day at a time is the best I can do right now. Sometimes, one hour at a time. Haven't been too successful handing this one to my Higher Power. Sort of like peanut butter in my head. -
Reply #5 09/25/08 9:48am
It is so hard breaking up. For me it was because of being alone. Thinking of you and know every day will be better than the last. You are worth a good relationship... someone who will treat you good... in the meantime be good to yourself. Don't you call that alcholic ex...! -
Reply #6 10/01/08 8:40pm
Im sorry that your going through this and can relate. You seem to be doing better than me. I use to be socially active but since a relationship that ended the first part of 07 I haven't got out much. My life is work, sleep and clean house. In between all this I'm on the computer. I don't answer the phone or visit anyone. I can't remember the last time that I had company in my home. Hang in there and hope it gets better. -
Reply #7 10/01/08 9:20pm
We have all been in this place...just one step at a time. Hang around with safe people and learn to determine who that is. Take care of yourself.It will get better. -
Reply #8 10/04/08 7:31pm
How are you doing now? Were you able to stay away? I ended my relationship last night and am already having regrets and thoughts of going back. This is so sick. I just want to be hypnotized to forget I ever met him. -
Reply #9 10/04/08 8:24pm
Really ironic you should ask that today. I have been crying all day because I let him back in to my life on Thurs. night and last night...Friday. He was doing the same old crap. I didn't know until this afternoon and have been a basket case ever since. It's so ridiculous! I know he doesn't have what I want but I want him just the same. He will never be able to be supportive and understanding to my needs but I still expect that he will have some very basic concept of what it will take to make me happy. I'm not asking for the world here....just some attention. He told me the two days ago that he wanted me in his life because I meant something to him. Not love....that's ok with me....but something. Today, he's saying he's saying he doesn't want anything. I'm freaked that I let him back in and am so devastated that this is happening so soon after. I just want to have him out of my head. I don't love him....never did.... get him out!!!!! I haven't slept in days, cried all day, wait by the phone and the computer just in case.....WTF is wrong with me?????!!!!!! I'm losing my freakin' mind!
I wish I had any sort of helpful advice for you AgentSmith. I wish I could help myself at this point. Sorry I can't be more positive for you right now.
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Reply #10 10/04/08 8:50pm
I am hurting really bad right now too. If you want to talk I am here for you. BIG HUGS!!
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