Update on a previous correspondence I had talked about overhere previously:
Greetings to all. As I attempt to proceed further with this theme 'Religion and Health', I thought of sharing an update on a previous correspondence I had talked about overhere previously, by sharing some extracts of my most recent piece of correspondence in that context. Please find below what I have written recently:
...
I presently feel interested to proceed further with this study on the theme 'Religion and Health' in the same line in which I had started it in the health group I had mentioned previously. I had stated the aim of that group to be as follows:
"The aim of this group is to collect, analyse and study information about experiences of being or being meant to be a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet etc, whether from a personal point of view or from what others have shared with us etc."
And to further direct the trend which we may want to follow overhere, I am including some further extracts which I wrote previously elsewhere in this same context:
"I have previously explained that experiences which led me to wonder about possibly receiving certain messages from God, occurred to me in early 1991 when I was almost 24 years old. I was described by my psychiatrist in his reports, to have had episodes which were floridely psychotic, before and some time after my hospitalisation as from the 27th March 1991. Heavy doses of medication initially had to be administrated to me until the nature of my illness could be tentatively diagnosed. In 1992, my psychiatrist felt pretty much settled with his diagnosis of my illness and a more stabilised treatment began to be administered to me in the U.S.A. Relapses needing further hospitalisation occured a few times again between 1991 and 1994. I returned to my homeland for good in early 1993 and my last hospitalisation for this illness dates back to September 1994. Thereafter my treatment has proceeded further but as an outpatient and at a moreless maitainance level. The reason I mention all this is because I would like my proposed analysis to be viewed in light of this experience and medical history, because there have been instances when I have mentioned to certain people my occasional thought and feeling of possibly being or being meant to be a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet, etc."
"i feel somewhat confused for the time being... and there has been a certain amount of anxiety rising up within me recently... i have sent some msgs to some selected friends concerning this... i was mentioning that i seem to have to tread a somewhat lonely path for some time at least and in some respects at least... there seems to be certain things i have need to review about myself... i feel a little bit de-stabilised at present... i feel shaken up in some respects at least with respect to my faith... i do not know from where i can possibly be helped in this matter... i do not know which people can serve as guide for me in this matter... i know that what i am writing may seem somewhat mysterious... this element of mystery seems at times to be a helpful way to call the help i may need onto myself... i seem to need to tread a path of caution to some extent at least... i can only hope that things will get better soon... it is difficult for me to try and express the nature of my fear... because this fear doesn't seem to be one of worldly nature... it seems that society in general seems to act as a source of punishment for us at times... direct or indirect criticisms of others seem to act as sources of persecution on us at times... and then... there are the contradictions we begin to find in ourselves... our deeds do not seem to be in line with the beliefs we seem to have adhered to... and certain things seem to have to be reviewed in certain respects at least... there seems to be matters which we fear to probe into too closely... because of the disturbance they may provoke within us... in any case... i think i should leave it at that for the time being... sorry again for being possibly somewhat mysterious... pls take care... peace and blessings..."
"if your thinking system is based on false premises, and you continue pursuing the further development of that thinking system, there comes a point when your thinking system reaches a point when contradictions begin to become apparent in it. You begin to find cracks within your thinking system, etc. Certain parts of the system begins to crumble down or to collapse onto themselves. Certain aspects of the system begins ceasing to function. Other parts of it gets rejuvenated. Roles that were previously defined but which had remained dormant somewhat, begin to come to life and to be in operation once more.
People who assume certain functions within a system are not always aware of all the rules and regulations of the system right from the start. There may be times when at least some of these rules and regulations may be forgotten as well. There may also be times and situations where the spirit of these rules and regulations may need to be given more importance than the applications of the rules and regulations themselves. Amendments may need to be made at times, to be better able to cope with situations which seem to be apparently new, in some respects at least. Temporary measures may have to be taken at times. In all this, it seems that a balance between the form and the spirit is to be sought.
There are times when we may need to get back to the basics. This process may sometimes bring us to identify flaws in some of our basic premises.
Many philosophers have built philosophical systems based on premises which they did not fully lived by. Some philosophers built systems of philosophy to alleviate certain underlying pains that they have gone through in life. Certain types of philosophies can be a sort of refuge or escape for some.
There have been people who have needed to work very hard during large portions of their lives to attempt coping with life situations they have found themselves in. They may have had little time to think in explorative ways like philosophers who have written extensively."
"i'm presently interested in collecting experiences of people who've had the feeling or impression of being a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet etc... in an attempt to sort out such experiences to find their proper place within the possibilities of truth in such experiences and the possibilities of religious delusions, illusions etc... i'm interested to explore the experiences associated with psychosis and psychotic episodes in this context... but focussing on this question about feeling to be or be meant to become a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet etc... i would be grateful for any sharings from any one concerning this subject... thanking u in advance... peace and blessings..."
"The context of this endeavour is based on what has evolved in a correspondence i have been having with someone. I am sharing overhere the gist of where we have reached in this correspondence:
"I feel it to be my desire to ponder about the question of being or being meant to become or thinking that we could be or be meant to become a messenger etc. There seems to be the following categories to consider:
* knowing oneself to be a messenger
* rightly feeling that one could be meant to become a messenger
* wrongly thinking that one could be a messenger
* wrongly feeling that one could be meant to become a messenger
Next comes the question of being a messenger sent by whom i.e. the identification of the source of any carried messages. Then comes the question concerning the message and it's nature. Then comes the question concerning the scope of the message and to whom it is addressed.
I first want to look at this from the subjective perspective of my experience, which will bring me closer to something that I have actually experienced.
I have mentioned previously having believed in some phases of my life, that I could be meant to be or to become a messenger. I explained how I reconciled myself with the acceptance that I should have had religious delusions and illusions. But the thinking processes involved in the wonders associated with this issue about being or being meant to become a messenger etc, is something I have actually experienced and I thought it proper to share this experience over here, finding it relevant to do so, and hoping and praying that the best consequences may God willing result from this sharing, with God's grace and mercy.
[i skip overhere an extract which i had previously shared in here]
It is my desire to begin and develop this theme in a piecemeal manner, with the hope and prayer that God may pour His most abundant blessings in this endeavour, to bring about healthy and worthwhile outcomes that can be pleasing to Him and possibly helpful for anyone else who may be concerned. May God make it so. Amen.
I want to end this present message over here for now at least.""
Continuing further i wrote: "I further want to say that the person I am corresponding with seems to believe himself to be a messenger and this is the reason for me attempting to explore this issue at my level and also with him."
...
In anycase, God only knows where this research is leading me and us to. Hoping for the best. May peace and blessings be upon you.
Afzal
Discussion Topic
Religion and Health
Posted on 07/15/08, 06:32 am
May peace and blessings of God be upon you.
I thought of reflecting on the theme of 'Religion and Health', the reason behind my interest on this issue, having to do to some extent at least, to personal health problems I have had to deal with since a breakdown I had in 1991, and finding relationships between these problems, and other problems I seem to have noted elsewhere as well, and involving other people as well.
In any case, this seems to be a beginning of a serious exploration in this direction overhere. It is my hope that God may enable us to find our way through it. May God make it so.
Looking forward to further hear from any of you.
Peace and blessings.
Afzal
I thought of reflecting on the theme of 'Religion and Health', the reason behind my interest on this issue, having to do to some extent at least, to personal health problems I have had to deal with since a breakdown I had in 1991, and finding relationships between these problems, and other problems I seem to have noted elsewhere as well, and involving other people as well.
In any case, this seems to be a beginning of a serious exploration in this direction overhere. It is my hope that God may enable us to find our way through it. May God make it so.
Looking forward to further hear from any of you.
Peace and blessings.
Afzal
-
Reply #1 07/16/08 10:32am
-
Reply #2 07/24/08 2:07pm
Greetings to all... may peace and blessings be upon u... this is an update concerning a previous correspondence i had mentioned previously and also in one of my previous entries/postings about 'Religion and Health'... in this context, i thought of further including overhere, some extracts from the further evolution of the correspondence i had mentioned... please find below what i recently wrote:
" I wish to further elaborate at this point about the context in which this blog has been created, and it's proposed re-orientation since it has become open to registered users including open id.
First of all, I wish to mention, for any viewer who may be unaware of this, that a split has occurred within the past seven years or so, since certain incidents originating from what a certain Mr "X (for our purpose)" has narrated, which was further reported to officials of my local religious community. Previous postings within this blog, will reveal further details about this issue, which I have attempted to sort out a little bit further overhere.
My present interest involves focussing on the evolution of this split I have mentioned, with respect to it's origin, i.e. Mr "X", and the portion of time in which he has been involved in the further evolution of this split. This is my present reason for focussing on the issue of 'Religion and Health' for the time being, and I am particularly interested about mental health involving phenomena such as psychosis, delusions, religious delusions, hallucinations, etc, without dismissing possibilities of some true experiences as well, perhaps, within such phenomena.
I have also explained to some extent at least, earlier, concerning some of my own experiences within what I have mentioned above, this being at least part of my reasons, for my interest on this issue about 'Religion and Health'."
...
"In the context of religious/spiritual/social dialogue, I have a few sites operating in parallel. Please feel free to possibly make use of any of them as may be more helpful and convenient. Overhere, for the time being, I wish to further pursue the research and dialogue about 'Religion and Health'. May God help me and us in this endeavour.
May peace and blessings be upon you."
... -
Reply #3 07/25/08 12:25pm
I was a hard core Christian for over one year. I mean; church 4 times a week, prayer, meditation, Bible study with my church and by myself, or at the time I thought with God. And so much more. I went way over the edge and became "insane" trying to be more like Jesus. I was finding it impossible just to be more like Him, not Him, just try to be kind like Him. I believe, because of my mental illness, Bipolar 2 Disorder, Genralized Anxiety Disorder caused I was cause great mental duress and had to eventually back off all my Christian activity. (Some of my old friends from my old chruch would say I became or am posessed. I don't know exactly how I feel about this?) I got to the point where I could not pray, read the Bible or any scripture anywhere. I have slowly been getting rid of all my Christian stuff I had collect during that year or so of my obsession with God. I just could not stand seeing anything Jesus related, or hearing or reading it for that matter. My intense study and worship of the Lord started in 2005. It ended around the first of 2007.
It's now 2008 and I'm in a paradox; I still can't stomache any Christianity but I believe every word in the Christian Bible is true and inspired or breathed out by God Himself. ??? I recently let a stranger pray over me on the telephone. I had told him my delemma and that I wanted to return to God but felt my mental illness was in the way. If felt good when he prayed for my heaviness to be lifted. I have said a couple prayers for people here at DS on the Bipolar boards cause if I say I will pray for you, I really have to do it. Otherwise, I don't pray. The other day I did thank God for the beauty all around which was something I did daily before. I consider my self completely backslidden an no longer a Christian, and I say this to my friends and they find that hard to believe. I vacilate between believing in Jesus and thinking the Bible is the greatest work of fiction ever written. I believe more out of fear.
So, I have no idea where I stand at this point with religion and my health. I used to believe I was a messenger or something special for Him, and that I had a calling to lead a women's Bible study group. My faith is shaken to the ground but yet something remains inside my very soul. What it is, at this point in time, I can not explain let alone wrap my mind around it for meditation.
My favorite thing to say at the end of my posts here at DS is, love and peace. And I agree with you martianexplorer, May God help us in this eneavour to understand and to act on whatever it is He wants us to do, say, believe, etc.
Syroness
-
Reply #4 07/25/08 2:22pm
thx for your very helpful response Syroness... i think i can relate to some of what u mention to some extent at least... there seems to be various phases in life and in our religious and spiritual condition... there are times when we begin to question certain beliefs which we previously had... and we begin understand things in certain new ways... we discover certain limitations that we have... and we find ourselves unable to live by certain standards that we adhere to at a theoretical level at least... we find ourselves unable to overcome certain sins and vices... and we find it hard to forgive ourselves and to let ourselves be forgiven by God... u mentioned that u used to believe that u were a messenger or something special for God... and that u believed that u had a calling to lead a women's Bible study group... that may be something of particular interest to this group and u may perhaps want to share more about this possibly?... in any case... thx again for your very helpful response... looking forward to further hear from u... peace and blessings... afzal... -
Reply #5 07/26/08 9:51am
Mtianexplorer you are so right on track with how things change in our lives when it comes to religion, sin, vices etc. I found your reply helpful in that it reminds me I'm only human and so very flawed.
I'm not sure what to share about my 'calling' to start a Women's Bible study group. I only know that I most felt the urge to organize it and wanted to lead it but felt too young and inexperienced to. I searched for another more educated mature woman to lead it but never found 'her'. I was watching a lot of Joyce Meyer at the time and boy did she fill me with the spirit and motivate me. All I can say is now, I see myself skydiving before I'd ever form or especailly lead a women's Bible study. OH! And I believe the Bible where women should minister to women, men to men and women.
Love and peace!
Syroness -
Reply #6 08/12/08 4:23pm
I have had a lot of trouble with "God" in the last few years. My daughter was taken away from me because of my mental illness 4 years ago. I was a great mom but at times I became psychotic and delusional. I never hurt my daughter and I always took care of her. My minister said that what happened didn't come from God it came from Man but then I was talking to a woman and she said Ruth told her that everything happens for a reason. I am left feeling that if there was a God then he wouldn't have taken my daughter away and I certainly don't believe everything happens for a reason. I am very angry at God at the moment and I tell him that I don't believe in him. When I get psychotic I start develving into my bible and interpreting scripture. This is one way that I know I am sick. I usually don't show much interest in biblical studies and I don't pray because i know he won't answer me. He never answered me when I was in my greatest need so he certainly isn't going to now. I have stopped going to Church because I couldn't stand seeing the little kids go up for children's time during the service...it just left me feeling so lost and empty thinking about my own little girl who was not with me. I don't get anything out of going to church anyways. I will go at Easter...I have respect for Jesus and believe he did exist. However to believe he was the Son of God I think is pushing it and I certainly have doubts about him being raised from the dead. -
Reply #7 08/20/08 2:23am
Syroness....
It can be a terribly confusing thing to not know where to turn, especially if the very one you want to turn to (God) is causing much of your confusion. Religion and faith can cause so much confusion. There are so many religions and denominations within each. I see you too have had your problems with Christianity also. You are questioning God and all of the things you learned in mainstream Christianity which has brought more confusion upon you (to the point where you don't even want to run to God). I think you really do love God, but you are being challenged to your core to find God as HE SHOWS YOU, and not what someone on TV or behind a pulpit says (regardless of how many books they sell or people follow them). It is scary to not go along with everyone else, but you touched on something important, that I think a lot of people ignore inside themselves. I don't think God wants us to follow Him and seek Him based on fear. You're not alone in your pursuing and I want you to know that there are answers out there for us...but we can not give up.
Here are a couple threads that I have out there on DS that give a little idea of where I am coming from. I hope anything I have said has brought you encouragement and/or hope.
http://dailystrength.org/groups/af...
http://dailystrength.org/c/Obsessi...
Welcome
Join This Group
The aim of this group is to collect, analyse and study information about experiences of being or being meant to be a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet etc, whether from a personal point of view or from what others have shared with us etc.
