vonniedisley

Todays a big day for me...Wanted to share it..

Posted on 07/24/08, 05:52 am

I just wanted to share my 'today' with you all...

When my ( very abusive) marriage ended December 29th this year...My ex said 'keep all my stuff slut..I don't want another thing from you or our home..and shove it up your ****'...Being his usual charming self..

But its 17yrs worth of things, books, clothes etc..I contacted him by text twice suggesting he get a third party to come pick up his stuff..but he ignored the texts...

Well friends said bag it all up, and give it to charity...F**k him...

But it just didn't feel right for me to do that...It also includes some very expensive leather shoes and clothes, and I don't like letting anyone make me mean..just because they are..

So a few days ago, I rang a delivery company, and asked if they'd deliver the stuff to him, (I just recently got his address from my son)..I felt I had to explain, as they might have got aggression when arriving with his stuff..or likely verbally abused..Knowing my ex..But the delivery guy was fantastic..He laughed and said 'no problem, that wouldn't bother me..I'd make sure he took it..even if I had to just dump it on his doorstep at his feet'..

So just half an hour ago...I handed twelve large black bags of 17yrs of all his stuff to the delivery guy...gave him the address, and paid him..(money well spent!!)..and now its all gone...

Its a momentous moment for me..its like furthur closure..and in a way..a kind of 'proof' that I have finally left my abusive ex behind..for good..

Also, it feels good, thinking about all the times I relented, and took him back, after being treated like total shit over and over, shouted at, called names, pushed around..and the rest...and how he likely still thinks that this time will be the same..that given time..I'll come running back for more shit..Hes likely been thinking that I miss him really..and can't live without him?..and its just a matter of time..as before, as he used to have that kind of control over me..I went back for more..many times..no matter what..

Today he learns that, no, that won't be happening..When all these bags get dumped back to him..No I won't be going back for any more abuse..No I won't be taking him back..and No..I don't want to be with him anymore..I'm realy really done with him..

Its sad on some levels..so final..yet great on so many others...I finally value myself enough to stop the cycle of abuse I endured for SO many years...(I'm starting to cry writing this part...) He put me through so much pain.. I WON'T take any more of it...I'm DONE...He WON'T CONTROL me anymore..or hurt me..and abuse me...ANYMORE...EVER AGAIN...

So I hope you'll all join me in this historic moment..and picture with me..his face..after he answers his door..and as he realises its all his stuff coming to stay with him..For good..and that this time..I really mean it...when I say, I'm finally done with him...

Thanks all for being there through all this...XX

• Reply #11 07/24/08  5:17pm
  
  LaVivre
  Fantastic! You are an inspiration! God Bless! What you did was the smartest thing ever, not only moving forward but purging your environment of all it's negativity!! YOU GO Girl!!!!
• Reply #12 07/24/08  8:12pm
  
  egsanders
  Oh Vonnie, Congratulations and WAY TO GO!!! What a great solution you came up with- get his stuff out of your life, and keep from feeling whatever guilt may have come from throwing it or giving it away. You have also, as you said, delivered quite a message to him....that you are DONE, you are not holding onto his things until he "comes back". I think you will be so happy and relieved with the feeling of freedom you will get when you look around you and do not see reminders of him and your years of struggles. I know when my ex finally came and picked all of his things up, it was liberating in a way that I never imagined. I am so proud of you, and happy for you!!!
  
  xoxoxoxoxo
• Reply #13 07/24/08  8:17pm
  
  RubyMcC
  Sending you a big hug!
• Reply #14 07/24/08  10:31pm
  
  lizziegirl
  You are awesome. Congratulations on your hard won independence. You have a heart that will prevail in spite of all the abuse. I only wish I had been the one to say so long instead of being the one who had the
  shell shock mentality for a while, existing in a fog of bewilderment, disbelief and pain, only to realize in
  hindsight what a nightmare I was living only convincing myself I was oh so lucky and oh so happy to exist
  on the crumbs he tossed me once in a while. You are an inspiration!!!
• Reply #15 07/25/08  12:34am
  
  deneeen
  Good for you !!!
• Reply #16 07/26/08  8:56am
  
  vonniedisley
  Got a text from him saying...why did you send me all those bags of rags??????
  
  I didn't answer...I bought him most of his clothes..So I'm guessing its an attempt at an insult???
  
  Funny when the controller loses their control...hell it must be SO hard for them...Ha! ha!
• Reply #17 07/26/08  5:09pm
  
  hockeymom5592
  Good for you vonnie!!!! I am so proud of you...How freeing, to be rid of him, and all his stuff, and to have the character to do what you did! You inspire us all.....
• Reply #18 07/27/08  2:36am
  
  MummysSanity
  You couldn't have done it a better way!!! Today is a new begining for you. I am proud of you for what you have done! It is nice when you finally rid your home of 'his' old baggage. He now no longer has any ties to YOUR HOME!
  You are a legend! Hugs!
  Laura!
• Reply #19 07/27/08  9:51am
  
  queenvalerie
  ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!! Oh Vonnie this is brilliant!
  
  Girl Power indeed!!
  
  BIG HUGE FREAKIN' HUGS!!!
  
  Val
  
  xx

"We live as Love, thriving and participating as a community in celebration of our Oneness with All." This group is for those men and women who wish to heal from toxic and often abusive relationships. Coming together in unity with love, compassion, and understanding for those in pain. To each of you my family here, inshallah we will break the spells that bind us to become the beautiful monarch butterflies free to define ourselves how we wish.