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Discussion Topic
talking about sex
Posted on 07/11/08, 12:13 pm
I never want to talk about sex, still an uptight little southern lady inside- but it's an important part of life- especially of a relationship. Well, ladies, who's having a good sex life? Who's not? What do you wish were different? What are some things you'd like to try and haven't? Fess up, what's going on?
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Reply #1 07/11/08 11:08pm
Shouldn't you fess up first? ha -
Reply #2 07/13/08 12:12pm
Okay, I will fess up. My sex life is usually pretty good, the husband and I have been having a difficult time in our marriage the last two years- so it's been rocky because of that. Lately, it hasn't been so great. I had a hysterectomy in Nov 2007, and another surgery in March for complications and I'm in menopause at 39! I have vaginal dryness and am not as responsive and it's not as easy to have an orgasm- so figuring that out has been hard. And then maybe because of that or a bunch of things like being stressed out the husband has not been able to ...uh, perform like normal and so he's going to the doctor next week. So, actually we decided to take a sex break for a month and just work on the rest of our relationship.
We had always had pretty good sex- but a couple of years ago I was reading something online and I realized I was very very uptight and reserved and started doing a little research and asked the husband if he wanted to try things and so we started spicing things up a lot- I started letting myself relax more and say what I want and do what I want and he loves it- I was self concious about that for nothing. We almost always had simultaneaous orgasms during sex- very good- lately we just can't get it together- I think that's part of the reason he's having trouble- because it's just not automatically awesome like usual. So, that's my story. Right, now, I'm celibate, I guess!!! -
Reply #3 07/15/08 1:45pm
Mine used to be out of this world.....I always thought that would be good no matter what and that I was crazy for it....lol. Anymore though with all the problems we have been having I have very little interest. I think it boils down to I don't think he loves me like I wish he would and so I no longer have that emotional connection that apparently I need to really be into it. It makes me very sad. The last few times I had to drink a couple of glasses of wine to go through with it. -
Reply #4 07/15/08 8:46pm
Our sex life is not like it use to be cause its hard for me to get past things my husband did while being married but him and I are trying to work things out, so it will take time I guess. I however love ALL my toys!!!! -
Reply #5 07/16/08 3:57pm
Sometimes I think my husband is secretely gay or something and that he is just SO worried about what others would think that he's rather suffer his whole life, than come out! LOL! He's just been so odd at times, he's never been like most guys, wanting it all the time, he'd rather sleep- it's been hard for me to want it more than him, makes me feel unloveable and undesireable even though he swears it's not me, and he makes all kinds of excuses- he always has- even before this- and the last couple of years it takes so long and a million positions for him to finish- so we both don't feel like doing it unless we're well rested and ready for a marathon. I also too feel unconnected a lot of the time and we don't look each other in the eyes or say we love each other or anything like that- nothing emotional- and I think when it stopped being emotional- was when it started going downhill. We've had some really good times since them when we tried new stuff or drank a couple or something- but I wonder if I'll ever have a good sex life again. I miss it. Maybe I should get some toys- I never have had anything like that! -
Reply #6 07/16/08 7:40pm
YES!!! get some toys lol. adamandeve.com has nice stuff, you can order online or have then send you a magazine in the mail, no need to worry everything they send, magazines..or packages are wraped where you wont have to hide from mail man when he comes with a package hehe. They sell other things there too, things to help spice up BOTH partners sex life with each other...idk just a idea :) Good luck. -
Reply #7 07/16/08 8:32pm
My sex life is non existent right now. stbx has been gone for 6 months, and i'm not ready for a relationship, and i'm not into one night stands.....Cin - I wondered if my ex was secretly gay too. I would say the last 5 yrs of our marriage was almost without sex. Yes, I am SO deprived!!!! I'm jealous of anyone who has a great sex life!! He he he. -
Reply #8 07/16/08 8:45pm
I think if I was single I'd be okay with not having much sex- especially now after being in menopause, it's the expecting to have a good sex life because I'm married that gets me. I guess it was destined to go bad if our marriage hasn't been that great either- except that- lately our marriage has been better that it's been in a long time but our sex life is dying. Wierd. But the fact that the sex is going bad makes me think the rest of us is doomed too! Man, I'm bumming myself out! LOL! -
Reply #9 07/18/08 2:43pm
Dont feel bummed your not the only one alot of us have the similar problem yep im married and yep after i got married lesser the sex life was .
i have several friends thats going thru the same thing.
it depressses me sometimes and i just feel whats the use of this relationship im not doing well at not letting it bother me either -
Reply #10 07/23/08 11:45pm
When the kids were little and I was exhausted and sometimes had a little one literally sleeping on top of me- that was fine that we went a little while- even two months without it- but when we did it, it was great and it was obvious that he wanted me- now, it's like he's just dying inside and can't muster the effort. It's the not being wanted that gets to me, not the lack of frequency or even how great it is- it's that he doesn't care. And I get so ticked off when he grabs at me or makes stupid sex jokes like he's a big stud- I want to say something so ugly to him then, but I'm too nice!
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