mydearjanie

Abuse Less Ordinary

Posted on 04/29/08, 04:44 pm

I have had a lot of issues with healing from my sexual abuse because my abuser was a woman, more specifically my mother. I find that sexual abuse is such an ugly horrible topic that people deny it, minimize it, and try to avoid it at all costs because it is so horrible and uncomfortable to believe that things like that happen. I find this is even more true when dealing with female perpetrator abuse, it seems like this bothers people even more. I just wanted to ask everyone, why do you think this is? Why is it that people find abuse by a female perp even harder to deal with and accept?

• Reply #1 04/29/08  5:40pm
  
  youngjedi
  I think because women are regarded as protectors,caring and not seen as abusers who are capable of sexual abuse against girls and boys.My dad is a police officer andhe sexually abused me and people would never think he was capable of that.The bottom line is anyone is capable of sexual abuse.I have done a lot of healing but when it comes to talking about the abuse from my mum i can only go so far and its hard to accept.
• Reply #2 04/29/08  5:47pm
  
  mydearjanie
  Absolutely - I find it extremely difficult to talk about the abuse because it seems so foreign because I was abused by a woman. My mother. I agree, people usually don't expect women to be violent, sexual, or otherwise abusive - the female stereotypes are nurturant, loving, caring, mothering, and emotionally intune. Unfortunately there is a lot of homophobia left in our society and it also contributes to people being so uncomfortable with the idea of same-sex abuse. Our world has a lot of changing to do.
• Reply #3 07/09/08  2:28am
  
  terrys
  Society teaches us that mother's represent the ultimate in loving nurturing. When the opposite is the reality the craving for what one wants and needs and apparently everybody else has is unbearable If I talk about the abuse I feel disloyal and like she knows though she's dead nearly 20 yrs and will not love me anymore/hate me. This is the child's fear which I constantly live with.

This is a group for people to come and talk vent express their feelings and share their stories about what they have experienced at the hands of women.Also this group is here to offer inspiration and encouragement to those who are still walking through this or struggling with the aftermath of this type of abuse.Please use this area to share with others how you got out of that abusive relationship and what you did to deal with it.Above all I set this group up so people knew they were NOT alone