Theresa42266

I JUST WISH I KNEW WHY

Posted on 07/25/08, 02:38 pm

Hi Ladies,
I guess I am beating myself up inside trying to figure out WHY a mother would just up & dissappear without any reguards to the pain & emptiness that she has left her chid in. I am almost 38 years old & the last time I saw my mom was in Dec 1988, My first son was 3 month's old, She spent the day with us & went back home to pack all of her thing's & I haven't seen or heard from her since. I lived most of my life finding it hard to believe anyone could truly love me if my own mother couldn't! Even through all of this, If I seen her today, I would welcome her with loving arms!! "What could she have possibly been thinking?" I feel such an empty spot in my heart that only she could ever fill, & the older I get, the deeper the pain & I'm afraid I'll have to die not ever knowing WHY!! Sorry ladies, can't seem to see the keyboard anymore for the tears. I want to THANK_YOU so much for taking the time to listen & care!!!! Lot's of love to you all!! Love Theresa

• Reply #1 07/25/08  2:50pm
  
  LaRubia
  Theresa - I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that what you've gone thru is especially difficult. Women who have had loving, close relationships with their moms I am so envious of; I always wonder what it would have been like to have a mother who was really there for me. My mom really stopped being a mom when I was 10, and her depression and social anxiety really took over. From what you said, my first thoughts are that your mom must have been suffering with some kind of mental condition (like bi-polar disorder, etc.), something so severe that she had no control over it, and the only "logical" way for her to deal with life was to leave you and your family. It's just so sad. But you are obviously such a strong woman, and a loving mother and grandma, and what your mom wasn't able to give to you, you are able to give to your family. Even though you don't feel it, know that you are blessed. Sending you much love and hugs -
  - Dawn
• Reply #2 07/25/08  3:12pm
  
  Pumpkedinish
  And I wish I could tell you why!! I can't..I agree with Dawn..Theirs gotta be some kind of condition...And if their is, this might sound nasty but life works in mysterious ways and maybe by her leaving it saved you from alot of pain and anguish..although I know you feel this way now, how about thinking to yourself "maybe she left simply because she loved me enough not to put me through the pain"?? Maybe I'm not making sense, maybe I'm talking out of my hat, just really trying to find an explanation for you! But as Dawn said, you are able to give your familly everything they need! So somewhere along the way, the experience of not having your mother around you has thought you so well what others need??? thinking of you! Nadya xoxox
• Reply #3 07/25/08  3:39pm
  
  mommysgirl21
  Theresa- i wish i had words that would take all of your pain away. Why someone would do that, i have no clue. But maybe Nadya and Dawn are right, maybe she was saving you from even more pain, or maybe she thought she was. I wish i could give you a real hug right now but since i can't, *HUGS*.
  LOVE AND HUGS coming your way
  Carrie
• Reply #4 07/25/08  4:09pm
  
  Theresa42266
  THANK - YOU LADIES, YOUR KIND WORD'S & WARM HEART MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!! I LOVE YOU ALL !!!!!!!
• Reply #5 07/25/08  9:03pm
  
  ralphandang...
  Teresa I wish there were an answer for you and I have often wondered how a mother could do this to their own child but I have never came up with any answers but I do want to say one thing and that is that just because you feel your mother didn't love you doesn't mean that no one else can love you. That is so untrue. Others love you for who you are. Your mother on the other hand never took the time to know you for who you are, And who you became. Do not ever think you are not worthy of love because of her. You know in your heart what type of person you are and if you can look in the mirror at the end of the day and be happy with who you are that is all that matters. Not what anyone else thinks. I know there is a void in your life. I too have one from never knowing my father but not for one second do I believe that no man could love me because he didn't. That was his choice and his mistake, because I feel like I am a wonderful human being and it is his loss by not being in my life, and even though I wish I would have had at least a chance to meet him but never had I still yearn for what I never had but again that was his choice and mistake as it was your moms choice and her mistake not ours. BIG HUGS to you ~Angela
• Reply #6 07/26/08  5:59am
  
  jeansbaby
  Hi Theresa,
  I cannot fathom how something like that would happen. Your mother must have had her reasons - but that certainly does not make it any easier for you to cope with or understand.
  You are such a sweetie - saying that you would greet her with open arms.
  And I fully understand that you feel empty. That would be such a natural thing to feel.
  Please take good care of yourself. I have read some of your posts and you are a wonderful person.
  Love and hugs to you
  Sam
  xooxoxoxoxox

For any daughter who has lost their mother, whether through Death (if it's been one day ago or 40 years ago) or Abandonment, (i.e.-drug abuse, mental illness, physical or emotional abuse, etc.) and is working through the grief process. This group provides unconditional support and understanding from women who have also lost their Moms and who truly care.