mommysgirl21

=(

Posted on 07/25/08, 10:58 am

I was going through my sisters room, looking at her old stuff, and i found cards & letters from our mom. The letter were something that our school does. I wasn\'t in that school until after my mom died, so she never wrote me any. I don\'t have any cards from her, no letters, nothing. I feel so, left-out. Unloved. Why don\'t i have those things? A little reminder of my mom. I guess i don\'t deserve them. I wasn\'t a good enough daughter. I didn\'t go see her, the last time i could have, i never said goodbye.
goodbye mommy
iloveyou

• Reply #1 07/25/08  11:13am
  
  rachele70nj
  Carrie, Are you the youngest? Sometimes with the youngest there are less of those mother daughter things. I can understand how much those things would mean to you. My mother hardly took any pictures and I was frantically looking for those pictures of me and her together. Only a few. It devestates me that my mom didn't get into pictures. I have one really beautiful picture of just her. Then I have her at I at my college graduation. It stinks! My sister's got pictures of her because she lived with my mom. Try not to beat yourself up. I know it stinks but we cannot change it only, make the best of what are unfortunate circumstances.
• Reply #2 07/25/08  11:14am
  
  nonplussed
  Sweet girl, you were only 10 years old. I bet your mom thouught you deserved everything; you were just cheated out of time and opportunity. Talk to your older family members; I'll bet they have memories of how much your mom expressed her love for and pride in you. You were probably too little to remember a lot of it.
• Reply #3 07/25/08  11:24am
  
  FoggyMama
  Carrie, I too am the youngest of my family. I know that you are very sad but you may be surprised to find out just how much your mother truly loved you. You were her baby and that is always special to a mother. So talk to your older siblings and I'm sure they will encourage you and make you realize how very special you were to your mother and them too. I can only imagine how devastated you have been to lose your mother at such a young age. I was 34 when I lost my mother and it was very hard for me. My daughters lost their father when they were 15 and 22 so I know a little about the pain that children have from losing a parent at a young age. God Bless you honey and I hope you find out just how loved and special you really were. Love and Hugs, Debbie
• Reply #4 07/25/08  11:31am
  
  Theresa42266
  Carrie, Honey your breakin' my heart, I wish I could somehow take all your pain away!! Sweetie, You will be in my thought's & prayer's, If there's anything I can do for you afar,Please don't hesitate to let me know!! Your mother LOVED you SOOOOO much, I feel this so strongly!! She's still loving & watching over you everyday!! Please don't ever forget that! Sending you a HUG full of LOVE to help comfort you today! Love your friend, Theresa
• Reply #5 07/25/08  12:32pm
  
  mommysgirl21
  Rachele- yes i am the youngest. I have one sister. She was 15 when mom died.
  
  nonplussed- I guess, i just wish i could remember it for myself, having to ask just makes me feel so useless, so helpless, like i need everyones help just to remember my own mother.
  
  Debbie- I guess i know she loved me, but it's so hard to not remember her saying it to me, y'know?
  
  Theresa- Thanks for your support. It means the world to me. It's just hard sometimes. My hugs and thoughts are with you*
  
  Thank you all so much for your responses. They all mean so much to me.
  ~ Carrie
• Reply #6 07/25/08  12:37pm
  
  craftnurd
  Carrie,
  I know your mother loved you with all her heart. I think that parents don't think about leaving their children, especially when they are as young as you were. The day to day events of our lives seem to take priority, and we don't think to stop and leave a small gift such as a letter to our loved ones, in case we die. I agree with nonplussed, talk to family... I am sure they have some of those needed memories...
  
  Janet
• Reply #7 07/25/08  1:58pm
  
  nonplussed
  Carrie. You're going to be OK. I had to check our profile to see just how young you are. You are so mature & thoughtful. I think about friends I have who were your age when this happened to them, and they didn't have the internet to connect with others, which is a blessing for all of us, and they didn't have your self possession (much more important). I know (boy do I know) that we can't take your pain away, but we can tel you that you have a future and unending suport and pride from people wh don't even "know" you in real life, and I hope that that helps.
• Reply #8 07/25/08  9:07pm
  
  ralphandang...
  Carrie, you do deserve those things from your mom unfortunatly she was not here long enough to give them to you. Don't think for one second that she didn't love you as much as she loved your sister. I have to tell you my baby was only about 9 months old when my mom died and she will never get a chance to know my mom and my two oldest girls will have my moms journal to them but my baby doesn't have any of those things. But my mom adored my baby and she was her little heart and she looks just like my mom. The reason I am telling you this is that just because you don't have these things doesn't mean that she loved you less. I am sure if you ask others around you they can tell you that she loved you alot. Hang in there babe. BIG HUGS to you ~Angela
• Reply #9 07/26/08  5:55am
  
  jeansbaby
  Your mother would have loved you so much when she was here on earth and I am sure she is watching over you every day.
  Don't beat yourself up sweetie!
  You are very worthy of your mothers love.
  DO something nice for yourself....
  Sam
  xoxoxo

For any daughter who has lost their mother, whether through Death (if it's been one day ago or 40 years ago) or Abandonment, (i.e.-drug abuse, mental illness, physical or emotional abuse, etc.) and is working through the grief process. This group provides unconditional support and understanding from women who have also lost their Moms and who truly care.