Discussion Topic
Funeral was yesterday
Posted on 07/22/08, 10:21 pm
My mom died a week ago today, and the funeral was yesterday. She had a long hard battle with alzheimers, i thought i had already dealt with alot of the grief because of the long illness, but i guess not. I don't know how i should feel, i am mostly numb, and sometimes i cry a little. I feel like i should do something but i dont know what. I was there when she died, i am glad i was there for her. The funeral was done well. I just feel lost.
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Reply #1 07/22/08 10:33pm
I am so sorry for your loss. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Each of us is different. Keep posting here. I hope that you find the comfort here that I have. We have a great group of women with so much heart to give and share. Take good care, Sharon -
Reply #2 07/22/08 11:29pm
Dear Lisbeca -
I can sympathize as both my parents had dementia and/or Alzheimers. Most hurtful through the years was how good my Mom was - not full-blown AD - but having a relative scold me for saying Mom had a "tad" of dementia..."Oh don't say she has a tad of dementia...she has dementia!".
I'm so sorry for your most recent loss - perhaps the greatest a woman can experience. I know what it's like to have a parent who knew me to the very end - but only once in her life - walked out of the room, returned and asked me where I was. For one moment, she didn't know me. It never happened again. (crying now, as I'm sitting in the very spot where that happened). And while you feel lost right now (it's normal shock), I'm glad you feel the funeral went well. Sadly, my Mom's funeral was a bust from start to finish (except for the Mass). Dad's went like a fine-oiled machine. Mom deserved WAY better - and I can never forget/get over it.
But our hearts aren't fine-tuned machines. They break. I don't know what to say to you - and I'm going crazy because at this point in my grief, I should be able to advise or console someone so new to the grieving process. I'd like to hug you for support. All I have are memories and the experiences - to let you know that in upcoming days/weeks - the shock will really hit. I'm being brutally honest now, so you're not surprised when it happens. And as so many have told you - please come here - to share, to cry - and to learn - that you're not alone in your feelings. -
Reply #3 07/23/08 5:47am
Hi there
I am sorry for your loss and pleased that the funeral went well. I am still feeling numb after losing mum 30th October 2007 and now losing dad 1st July 2008. All people are different and we all deal with grief so differently. You know where we are.
Love
Nel -
Reply #4 07/23/08 9:46am
I am so sorry for your loss. I remember feeling lost and not knowing what to do with myself when my mom died and I still have periods where I go through that. Just take it one day at a time and you will make it through this. We will all be here for you. BIG HUGS to you ~Angela -
Reply #5 07/23/08 1:22pm
Hi Sweetie, I am so sorry for your lose, I wish I knew the right word's to comfort you in these feeling's that your going through, But Please know We are ALL here for you with open arm's & loving heart's!! You will be in my prayer's! If you need to talk, I'd love to listen!! Sending lot's of LOVE your way!! Sincerly, Theresa -
Reply #6 07/23/08 1:26pm
I am very sorry for your loss...and you will feel lost for a while..completely normal...but one day guaranteed, you will wake up and feel just a tiny bit better..and it will help..In the meantime just "being" is good enough!!! hugs! my thoughts are with you nadya xoxoxo -
Reply #7 07/23/08 3:25pm
I'm so sorry for your loss. It has only been a week - lost is about the only feeling you can feel. My mom had cancer for two years, I thought I was ready also, but not true. You can never be ready for something like this. Just take it one day at a time and know that there is no wrong way to feel or deal with your loss. We are all here for you and know your pain. Hugs, Liz -
Reply #8 07/23/08 6:29pm
I lost my mom Feb 2nd from cancer and the first month I felt absolutely nothing - had a few tears and other than that I was in a different reality. Oftentimes I wish I was back there. Just remember it's a process and takes as long as it takes. We're all here for you and I am sorry for your loss. I still can't believe my mom is gone. You're in the right place. Love and hugs Anna -
Reply #9 07/23/08 7:27pm
So sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you have endured. My mum didn't have alzheimers. I'm sure you grieved once already about the diagnosis and then the hammer dropped when she passed. Know that we are here for you- your sounding board. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Colleen -
Reply #10 07/23/08 9:40pm
Just wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your Mom. We all know your pain, though your grief process is much different because of the Alzheimers. My MIL's Mom had Alzheimer's, and by the time she died, my MIL didn't know what to feel because the Mom she knew had been gone for so long. Still, the pain is still there and she talks about her all the time. We are all here for you. Love-Holly
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