ladytiger

meeting new ppl :(

Posted on 06/14/08, 02:50 pm

hey everyone! im new to the group even though i joined a while back, my 1st time posting. i have a question about meeting people. it used to be simple for me to meet ppl, but my confidence and self esteem went way down hill when i was 10. im 22 yrs old and i am still having a hard time meeting ppl. i have been working on my communication skills and building up my self confidence but the prob is im goin back into my shell deeper and deeper. :( i want to be able to just go up to someone, talk with confidence, and smile. instead of forcing myself to go up to someone, faking confidence, and trying to smile.

the next thing is i have a hard time asking someone if they would like to get together and hang out. there has been some women ive met that i really wanted to get to know, but didnt have the guts to ask. we had great conversations and stuff. its really killing me! i have been thinking lately what is holding me back? i know its fear, but what i am trying to figure out is what is deep down inside me that's holding me back?

does anyone have any tips, tricks, hints, advice? anyone who has overcame this and met new people like it was no big deal? i'm still struggling with this. is there a way to build up my confidence even more? i cant seem to build it up if my mother is gonna throw her in ignorant opinions. maybe i might need a strict training to really force me out of my shell.

• Reply #1 06/21/08  8:47pm
  
  atreides27
  ahhhh girls are the single most impossible things to talk to -_-
  
  when I really wanna talk to someone (I have the same problem) I drag a friend along with me, especially if they know the person...so if I'm gonna look stupid at least I won't look it alone lol
• Reply #2 07/08/08  4:19am
  
  ladytiger
  hehehe.
• Reply #3 07/13/08  6:54pm
  
  musicblonde
  hey ladytiger!!! good post....... let me see if I can help :D
  
  what made you loose confidence from the age of 10? Or was it just an age thing you think? I think you shouldn't worry too much about your communication skills lovey......... for some people its in their personality to be out going and chatty- kinda the centre of attention. My little sister (by 2 years) is like that I get so jealous sometimes. Everyone finds her soooo funny and when she's talking to people she makes it look so easy, whereas I can't seem to find the right words and go pink all the time!! But when I think about it therre are things I'm better at then her. We're just different. I think you've just gotta remember that people will like you for who you are......... its good to try these things every now and again and go up to people and say hey but don't panick if you find it hard! Your not the only one. And it will get a tiny bit easier with practise hopefully.
  
  I don't really know how to help you get over your fear....... thats tricky. Like atreides tip! What maybe you should do is do something your really afraid of doing.... force yourself to do something really hard for you. Like a few years ago we went ab-sailing with my sch and I'm terrified of heights! First I thought I'd watch, then I decided to stretch myself and do the lowest height, then I did the next and finally the heighest! It made me feel ill doing it, but afterwards I felt soooo much more confident! And I really believed in myself. You need to find something like that for you I think :)
• Reply #4 07/13/08  9:55pm
  
  ladytiger
  ive always been outgoing and chatty, my communication skills do suck they need improving. my english isnt 2 good either. what made me lose confidence at age 10 was when we moved to AZ in 96 and it was all thanks to my mom for making me feel like shit and degrading. i carried that throughout the rest of my life feeling worthless, there was no kind of help for me to get over this. nobody didnt understand why i barely talked to. when i would study other ppl, look at how easy it is for them just to walk up to someone and start a conversation.
• Reply #5 07/20/08  6:15pm
  
  musicblonde
  awww I'm sorry life has been so rubbish ladytiger! its a shame your mum couldn't be more understanding :( I guess all you can do is learn from it and iff you ever have kinds/have kids treat them how you would've liked to be treated.
  
  its harder when your english isn't good- thats tough. I allways struggle finding the right words, or forget where I was with a story which is embarassing! all you can do is laugh about it :D just keep going! thats all we can do really :D

People who have a hard time meeting people face to face but can talk more easily online.