Iroam

Body Image

Posted on 08/22/08, 11:48 am

We get the messages, even on Lesbian programming, that we are to be thin and well, perfect looking.

How do you view your body with all these messages that most of us wont come close to meeting this ideal?

How does your image of your body effect your sexuality?

• Reply #1 08/22/08  11:52am
  
  Iroam
  For myself, I am angry and turned off by our culture of thinness. As a former massage therapist , I rarely had a client that looked like what we see in the media. I am 47 now and am fairly comfortable in my body although still shy with my lover, its kinda funny. My sexuality use to be limited to dark rooms. I had shame at my imperfections. This is definitely not sexy stuff to be feeling!
  Again, I have passed through that horrible phase and hope you, my sisters have or will too.
• Reply #2 08/23/08  3:50pm
  
  jaybear
  I'm not as worried when I'm with my partner. I don't need the lights off, rarely ever have sex with the lights off. But, I am heavier now than I have ever been in my life and it DOES bother me, a lot. Personally, NO, I do not think of our society's ideal body image as being realistic or standard. I would never wanna be 115 lbs. I have too much muscle mass, (even with all the fat), and I wouldn't want the hassle of maintaining perfection. I watched a couple episodes of The L Word and all the women were skinny and femme. But on the LOGO channel, there is a lesbian named something like Julie Goldman or something like that. She is butch and on the big side. My wife says that she reminds her of me. To me it was funny to see a real life version of the type of women we see in the LGBTQ community.
• Reply #3 08/23/08  3:52pm
  
  jaybear
  and my wife has been working on me. she finds me hot, so I work hard to see myself through her eyes so that my body image issues don't don't make me hesitate during those special moments, lol.
• Reply #4 08/24/08  8:16am
  
  dodges66
  Personally, now days I view my body image as good for me.
  
  When I was a young child growing up, my immediate family would tell me I was a fat kid. I was a chubby kid. As a young child then I saw that not all of us were created equally and figured it would get better. In my 20â??s I use to stress about my "look". I also use to be in a relationship that became verbally abusive and one of the quick pix on me was to yell out, "You are so fat." Those comments hurt.
  
  Thankfully I was told by a much wiser person that I was beautiful as is, I just needed to learn how to love and accept myself. It took some time to retrain my self and thoughts but once I started to view myself through different eyes, with effort the rest of me shaped up. Now I have better habits. I am healthy. And yes, I am a work in progress who is working towards my own goal of happiness despite the media.
  
  My body image doesnâ??t affect my sexual life but our work schedules do occasionally! LOLâ?¦â?¦â?¦â?¦eh, it happens.
  
• Reply #5 08/24/08  1:58pm
  
  jaybear
  i just watched a movie about this last night. it stars that new chick that was in the new version of Hairspray. In this movie someone puts her on the ballot for Homecoming queen as a joke, but she ends up getting votes and stuff even though she is quite overweight. The funny thing is, i would not have thought that the movie would affect me very much, but when the lead character is talking to her mom and her thin mom suggests that she save herself some stress by dropping out of the race, she says, "Why Mom? Cuz I'm not pretty like you?"---and I thought, "Aw man, YOU ARE hot, WAY hotter than your mom!"---and I realized that if I can see that in this woman in the movie, then why wouldn't my wife be able to see all this attraction in me despite my issues with weight? Of course she does, so I was surprised but the film actually spoke to me. ^_^
• Reply #6 08/24/08  4:25pm
  
  Iroam
  very cool Jaybear, I would've liked to have seen that movie.
• Reply #7 08/25/08  11:58am
  
  suzyhopes
  i am a very active person and have stayed thin but what's more important to me is that I've stayed in shape and healthy. I've never loved my body and will always see imperfections in it. The First time I fell in love with my body, I was pregnant. I loved my body for everything it did and every way it grew. I am much more confident in my appearance now. Mianly for the fact is that I want my daughters to be confident in themselves even if they aren't picture perfect the way the media thinks young women should be. Thaty starts at home and they will see their moms living healthy active lives and not stressing out about what size they wear, how tan they are or how many imperfections they have. I think it is a wonderful gift that I can give them, because they are perfect in my eyes. Just as is my wife. Just as I am in my mother's eyes.
• Reply #8 08/26/08  10:50am
  
  ibme
  I'm a large person...and I don't like being this way. I don't want to be skinny, but i want to be smaller. Being large definitely holds me back from meeting people that i would like to know better, but that i think will judge me. Should i not think that way, of course. Is it easier said than done....duh! My body is a continual work in progress...i want to be healthy, but am short and large, and don't think anyone would be able to look beyond that to see me.
• Reply #9 08/26/08  12:02pm
  
  Iroam
  ibme-I feel your pain and empathize with your situation. I want to encourage you to step out anyway and develop who you are from the inside out. Happiness is an inside job and people want to be around it . I have always been attracted to woman shorter and rounder than me...you never know!
• Reply #10 08/26/08  12:03pm
  
  Dixy
  i have had eating issues since a teen and overcoming that has been difficult, but my current gf loves me for me and NEVER mentions my size, even tho im only a size 12 (but i cant get paranoid about it) Im so comfortable with her and i know she can accept me so therefore i accept myself. I think you cant be content, but that doesnt necessariily mean your size is keeping you happy.

I wanted a group were lesbian women can get together and chat and just have some fun. No men allowed please!!!!! So come on in and sit down and enjoy yourself.