Discussion Topic
OK I AM SCARED
Posted on 05/01/08, 05:04 pm
I was putting off joining this group as i though that would be like admitting to myself that i was actually scared. Started my tx four weeks ago, the first few weeks were do=able, but now am getting more than alittle worried. I have told virtually no one as i thought i could cope on my own, my boyfriend is supportive, but doesnt really wanna talk about it, so try not to lay to much shit on him. Am having fevers, sweats and chills nearly every night, which means i dont sleep, which means i cant go to work, now have started getting the most fucking horrendous migraines, cant see, having to leave my car and get lifts. Getting depressed, and i dont do depression, feel like i am just existing not living anymore.
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Reply #11 05/04/08 2:54pm
I have to say I agree with you sapphiretyger...I know there is good and bad in all...Love you all...Pam -
Reply #12 05/04/08 5:46pm
I understand, I know there are some lousy counselors out there. Goddess knows I had a couple myself back in the day! I guess I just get upset at generalizations. And yes, I do agree that someone needs to have "been there done that" in order to be a good counselor. Which is why I deal with substance abusers and not sex offenders!
Of course I still love you guys...~fucking hugs all around~ -
Reply #13 05/07/08 1:39am
Would anyone like for me to make you a rootbeer float?
Can do.
faithless, I'm a very strong advocate of acupuncture. Also...generally what tattman said is sad but true. Shapphire, you are the exception to the rule. You are a very loving, careing person and I value your friendship a great deal. Here's the BUT. I've been trying to get disablity so I've gone to several counselors and they say,"Yep...you're crazy but the rest of the world is crazy too...Nope...get a job."
It's so very hard to try and get people to understand that you are really in so much pain and your scared.
So, with all this said and I've probably pissed off some folks...please keep in mind that I did the treatment for hepc and now dealing with so many other problems that I wasn't really aware of before. I didn't say that right. Let me clarify. If I wouldn't have done the treatment...I probably would be able to see without useing a magnifingly glass. I could remember why I went into what room for. I could stand cold water. And I wouldn't get pissed off at people that I've known for years tellin' me..."You just ain't right."
Oh! OH! The edema and ascites is a real bitch. Having your feet and ankles start bleeding because of the water build up is rather embarassing. Very frustrating when people look at me like I'm a monster...and the counselor says...get a job. Sure! I'll get right on it. Can I work for you?
And then! And then when your brother says,"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and 'git her down!' Here brother...can I borrow your feet, legs, brain...never mind...I wouldn't want your brain because even with my disease I'm a hell of a lot smarter than you are. By the way...if I come across your heart...I'll give it back to you if you will promise to be alittle more compassionate.
Man...did I dump some shit or what.
Sorry...alot goin' on in my life right now.
Sapphire...no offense to you at all. I have a great deal of respect for you and blessed to have you as a friend.
I just have experienced what tattman said.
I'm gonna grab that crazy Lucy up and go to bed now.
Once again...I was just letting off some steam and I don't really think I realized I had so much on my brain and heart until I read this thread. -
Reply #14 05/07/08 11:34pm
This TX is not perfect. The sides are horrible.I understand how you feel. The water helps more than you think it could, try drinking more and see. The depression is normal, you either find some level ground in you and deal or do the anti-depression pills. I was sick of meds so I opted to not do them. Trazadone for sleep works fantastic I was prescibed that as well. I still have mild chills and sweats and its been 3 months since I stopped TX. It is getting better but it takes time. I know thats uncomfortable, I feel your pain. My sides changed up all the time, I would get a varity at different times..hard to explain. I hope you get a change, it does make it somewhat easier. -
Reply #15 05/11/08 1:56pm
I know what you mean Joan, about sides changing up all the time. I never know what to f-ing expect! -
Reply #16 05/28/08 12:14am
Garsh, now I am FUCKING scared; I was dreaming on that " ta da" deal after treatment. Phooey:-)~ -
Reply #17 05/28/08 12:53am
i choose to believe it won't take long to feel better after tx. i screwed up a shot about 7 weeks ago. i didn't seat the needle on tight and most of the shot drizzled out on my stomach. it was amazing how much better i felt that week. and i was still taking ribovarin. so i am counting on feeling better about 8 days after that last shot. especially when my doctor says i can quit the ribovarin immediately after my 24th injection. -
Reply #18 06/01/08 2:33pm
Try not to be scared. Take each day, each shot, as it comes.
I am finding the sides are getting less intense and easier to deal with the closer I get to the end. My riba rash is gone already and I am losing less hair. I don't seem as tired or sore as I was...anyway I don't want to brag too much and jinx this goodness! -
Reply #19 06/04/08 10:18am
1 day at a time! yes i like it. it is so good to hear that things can get better towards the end. i do feel like its getting better for me. one of the best things that happened for me was getting appropriate sleep medication. and getting my anti anxiety medication down to a smaller dose. that and drinking lots of water. maybe the further along we get the more we learn to deal with the sides. man, i am glad to be here and getting some support. thanx guys. -
Reply #20 06/06/08 3:45pm
Welcome
