Respect and Safety in this Group
Posted by rosem1111 - 08/27/08, 07:41 am
It is vital in a group like this that is set up to help sufferers and/or survivors of abuse that we treat each others as equals and with respect. Nobody can or should claim the right to tell someone else how to live their lives. This is not negotiable and the terms really are quite self evident.
The very name of this group was selected to say to people that here we don't tell you to stay or go: YOU decide. And if you glance at the group description you will see that spelled out. In joining this group, people are actually endorsing that outlook.
That this mostly happens in this group shows that the concept is understood and largely followed. There have just been several slip-ups lately and it is getting worse. We all make mistakes and tend to work to correct ourselves so we don't keep making them. But a little reminder may be necessary sometimes or we may forget what is acceptable in a particular group. Other groups may have different standards.
As Christianne Sanderson said in "Survivors of Domestic Abuse",
"In respecting the survivor's endeavours to manage the abuse with whatever available survival strategies, the counsellor can provide a non-judgmental environment in which the survivor feels validated. This will enable the survivor to begin to validate herself and begin the process of rebuilding trust in self" (2008, p.63). This applies to all of us as we really are kinds of counsellors to each other.
I hope this clears up any misunderstanding and reassures anyone in need of that.
Remember that you can message other members and that includes myself. Just remember to keep it polite; many of us are very burdened emotionally, psychologically and in terms of the demands our lives place on us - we don't need more stress, especially not more abuse. If you are not clear about what is abuse, now might be a good time to search that out. There are many books on the subject and Google searches can teach us much. Our parent DS group has a resources list that provides many helpful recommendations.
We are here to help each other and this is designed to be a safe group.
