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Effective "Parts Work": The Basicsp. 6 of 9Communicating Wirth Subselves, concludedBy Peter K. Gerlach, MSW   The Web address...

Dealing with stalkersShake off your shadow. Stalker CVs Not all stalkers physically stake out their victims, looking shifty and vaguely unhinged....

by Robert Burney  M. A. I mention fear of intimacy often in my writing.  It seems to me that in most of the articles I write for my web...

How to Let Go & Be Yourself © Laurie Pawlik-KienlenDec 9, 2006 Overcoming fear of intimacy means sharing your real self with others. Intimac...

How to Overcome Anxiety & Fear in Relationships© Laurie Pawlik-KienlenDec 3, 2006 Is your relationship hampered by emotional walls & bar...

You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:  Is jealous or possessive toward you.  (Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relat...

Certain personality traits predispose people to abusive relationships. The following lists are typical characteristics of both parties in abusive rela...

There are many forms of abuse within our society, and often this abuse tends to occur in a home-based situation, and then it becomes domestic abuse an...

Do you have trouble saying no, even when you really should?Do you feel like people walk all over you?Do you have trouble keeping your temper under con...

By Edel Jarboe What Does It Mean To Be Assertive? Let's start by defining what it is not. Being assertive does not mean being aggressive...

 [Open Chatroom]   Assertiveness Training – Learn the Art of Ethical Persuasion The following text was borrow...

Bruce Berger, Ph.D.Professor, School of Pharmacy,Auburn University, Auburn, ALPrevious articles in this series covered listening and empathic respondi...

Say No Without Feeling Guilty or Embarrassed © Laurie Pawlik-KienlenOct 10, 2006 If you're a people pleaser, you can't say no without fe...

Assertiveness Training for Women © Laurie Pawlik-KienlenMar 12, 2007 If Marge Simpson knew about assertiveness training for women, her life woul...

Many of us who label ourselves as lacking in assertiveness skills, tend to misunderstand what being assertive really means.   Each semester,...

By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com Updated: September 25, 2007 About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by Steven Gans, MD Se...

In assertive communcation, you say what you want and what you mean without losing emotional control.  Communication is an area in which we all co...

 Mary Buxton, MSW, LK7780Assertiveness Training BibliographyMary Buxton, LCSW When I Say No, I Feel Guilty; Manuel Smith, Ph.D. Self Asserti...

Member needs support: Twinkle39 Would you mind please reading the following post and giving support or advice? Even a supportive hug would help t...

by T. Sunshine LoveAs a fairly codependent person myself, I recommend keeping a safe emotional and financial difference from codependent friends or lo...

The best of friends can fall out. A friendship can go from wonderful to harmful.  Sometimes, people we welcome into our lives as friends can caus...

by Jacklyn Pastrano I interviewed former university student Samantha about a codependent friendship she was involved in. Although she i...

Those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families may have never learned to communicate effectively in relationships. We may be passive and not advoca...

Definitions of a back-handed compliment "An insult issued in the form of a compliment to the opposite person, place, thing or deed."...

Source: www.InsightJournal.com By Jase DonaldsonJul 24, 2006 - 4:33:00 PM Researchers at Florida State University recently conducted a study that foun...

When the past won't let go From Cathleen Henning Fenton, for About.comUpdated: March 23, 2006 About.com Health's Disease and Condition co...

Group Update: Pendant or other image to carry with us?  Do you want something symbolic of the 'roots and wings' healing? I posted a ...

What is Raging? Rage is a shame based expression of anger. Rage is by definition abuse. Ragers react to strong emotions with rage. (i.e. feelings of...

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) includes a simple method for clear, empathic communication, consisting of four steps:     ...

  Anger is a natural and necessary emotion.  Anger is anger, it is in itself neither right nor wrong, healthy nor unhealthy.  It i...

Patricia_Evans has joined.rubymcc: welcome Patricia Evans!positiveions> HI PATRICIA!emaneerks> hi patricia!RevMorgan> Afternoon Patricia! So ...

PLEASE NOTE: Hidden Hurt does not discuss all forms of child abuse or even child abuse in general, but only those specifically associated with Domesti...

Mr. Wrong and Mr. RightThis information has kindly been provided by Pat Craven who runs The Freedom Programme ©An abusive man ...   ...

Warning Signs of an Abusive PersonalityIt is sometimes possible to predict the likelihood of the person you are currently or are about to become invol...

The following are excerpts from Survivors Unlimited by Holly G. For booklets please contact the office: info@pssaw.org Abuse: Separating Truth fr...

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by our Medical Review Board # 1: "I've got friends who will do anything I sa...

Lies Abusers Tell Their Victims  Picture credit: J.W. Waterhouse, "Circe"  The following is a long list of lies, threats, and insa...

Are You Happy?Once we meet our basic physical needs of food, shelter, and comfort our life becomes about maximizing happiness. We seek more meaningful...

“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.”- Tao TzuSelf-awareness is the explicit understanding that one exists. Furth...

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is an important psychological theory orginated by the American psychologist ...

Life is a series of hellos and good-byes. It is about attaching, connecting, and often separating and then detaching, disconnecting and letting go. In...

Tools for Handling Control Issues Developing Detachment Content: What is detachment? What are the negative effects not detaching? How is deta...

The Gaslight Effect How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robin Stern List Price: 23.95 Price: 16.29 ...

In general, the problem with our culture is narcissism, solipsism and selfishness." Professor Steven Post, bioethics at Case Western Reserve Univ...

http://healing.about.com/od/energyhealing/a/psivamps.htm Psychic Vampires From Phylameana lila Desy, Your Guide to Holistic Healing. People Who Take E...

Let's face it, we can all be a little toxic at times, however; if your friend exhibits any of the behaviors listed below on a regular an...

 (WebMD) Elizabeth Roberts had a friend she’d known for 23 years. Roberts had grown up with this friend in a small town in Maine, and ...

To accomodate the growing number of meetup groups, and those who are uncomfortable with larger groups, I have created a map on the "Find an OFFIC...

People are often amazed at their own psychological conditions and reactions. Those with depression are stunned when they remember they’ve though...

By Dr Joseph M Carver, PhD If you're in a controlling and abusive relationship, you may recognize several of the characteristics described in this...

Good news!  Patricia Evans, world renowned author of Controlling People, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out, and Teen Torment has accepted our offe...

The chatroom is open every friday. I am hoping that some of the authors, and professionals will accept my request to have an open discussion about boo...

by Walter LastHappiness, joy and love are not caused by events but by our attitude. We can learn to choose how we want to feel. Why not choose love an...

People who are controlling seem to have a pervasive fear of abandonment. They, the "pretenders", have an idealistic idea of how someone shou...

by Cheryl RainfieldHow many times have you done something you didn't really want to? If you're like me, it's probably a lot of times. Ther...

by Cheryl RainfieldNote: A revised version of this article appears in Healing the Hurt Within by Jan Sutton (ISBN: 1845280369). Negative or critical v...

Finding Self-Love As a Survivor:How Do You Love Yourself When You've Been Taught to Hate Yourself?by Cheryl Rainfield As survivors of child a...

Not all abusers are dysfunctional. Many of them are pillars of society. Abusers come in all shapes and sizes: successful professionals, or peripatetic...

 I am absolutely terrified of the idea that the next person I may get into a relationship with will eventually hurt me. I say "will" in...

by Ruby McC Dr. Liara M. Covert, author of "Identifying Loneliness & Rising Above It " writes that for us to stop feeling lonely, w...

What is Loneliness? Once we have left the relationship we may feel strong feelings of "emptiness and isolation." Even  though they...

by Ruby McC Author Julie Ann Barnhill writes that, "we first must confront and admit that these feelings (of false guilt) exist. In many cas...

Author: RubyMcCWe feel guilty because we believe that somehow we were responsible for the failure of the relationship. Deep in our hearts we wonder if...

The first thing to remember about people who abuse other people is that they do not look like abusers. You can’t tell by looking. Abusers seem n...

by Susan G. S. McGee *Although this article was geared towards women, men are also victims of domestic abuse. VALIDATION – support, be...

 "Codependence and interdependence are two very different dynamics. Codependence is about giving away power over our self-esteem. . . . Inte...

Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self"The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves.  We need to be able...

  The goal of this project is to identify the various forms of physical and sexual violence that we have endured from each of our toxic rela...

Surviving a BreakupRuby McCormick   This weekend was really difficult for me. I entered into a rebound relationship because I am terrified o...

Is there anything you can do to avoid abusers and narcissists to start with? Are there any warning signs, any identifying marks, rules of thumbs to sh...

Click here to Download the audiobook version of this article “Don’t Look Back”    In a recent email, a reader asked t...

Estimates are that more than 3.3 million children are exposed to physical and verbal spousal abuse each year. 14  Exposure means seeing or hearin...

Are You a Domestic Violence Survivor?Author: Kim Eyer, © 2002-2003"Surviving" is a subject that brings up many questions abou...

An ExplanationAuthor: Kim Eyer, © 2001-2003 Two of the most frequently asked questions about domestic violence are (1) "Why do the...

by Sherry Obenauer M.Ed., M.A.  What's wrong with being single? A whole lot if you go by what you see around you. Whether you visit a booksto...

I am posting this because I do not think I know the true definition of love, or at least I have never experienced it between a man and woman. I want t...

Abusive people typically think they are unique, so different from other people that they don't have to follow the same rules as everyone else. But...

Abuse changes people... and it never changes anyone for the better. Has abuse affected you?Yes, most assuredly it has, whether you are aware of it or ...

  When you have high self-esteem, you create energy in your life to make things happen. When you feel good about yourself, it is easier to k...

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response sometimes seen in an abducted hostage, in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker...

The Pain of Codependency: “Addicted to Love” “Addicted to Love” or “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places”...

 Helpful As They May Be...    ...triggers are not fun.  First, you're going to need to calm down to understand the message the...

It is important to know your abusers as people, not inhuman monsters that came out of nowhere.  Not only does this help you realize they are not ...

People who have been abused as children often balk at the thought of forgiving their abusers. Few abusers, if any, deserve forgiveness. However, every...

An Inner Father for Little John My own experience    This is just another example of how an inner parent Induction might go. The overall pro...

http://www.love-your-inner-child.com/ The Inner Mother and Inner Father Process  One of the most powerful and life-changing processes I have...

Week 2 & 3  You can choose either of the projects listed below or you may feel free to participate in both projects.   Project 1: The ha...

Child Play Content:What is child play for adults? Rational perspective on child play for adults Feelings generated in adults with child play Exam...

 I want to encourage everyone to create a safe, comforting space in your home to help support yourself as you willingly work through difficulties...

 Objectives of the “Inner Child’s Hands” and “Healing Tree” The objective of this project is to reconnect with...

Inspired by Pat Downing article “Children need both roots and wings”"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas ...

(you can find the link to the chatroom on the header of this support group. You can just click on "Roots and Wings Chatroom above")Good morn...

 Is there anyone here familiar with facing their ex in court for rape and or emotional abuse? One of our members, Lytad really needs emotional su...

"We tend to think of Domestic Abuse as physical violence or assault on a wife. In reality, however, domestic abuse is the summary of physically, ...

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life (Paperbackhttp://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp...

(I am copying this from one of my journal entries) Journal Entry for December 20, 2007 Thursday, December 20, 2007  Thank you everyone for y...

http://www.voicesofstrength.org/ 'VOICES of Strength' is an Audio Documentary for Rape and Sexual Abuse Survivors. My name is Haullie Fre...

Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone's feelings. It is an attempt to control how they feel and for how long ...

Your ability to forgive those who have hurt you in the past is a crucial stepping stone to your spiritual and emotional growth. Throughout the course ...

I know that what you have been through has been a long journey. But even so, it has not ended yet. Our healing has just begun. I hope that some of you...