AngeGirl2007

The Hardest Thing

Posted on 03/28/08, 07:17 pm

What has been the hardest thing that you've been faced with either before, during, or following your miscarriage?

• Reply #1 03/28/08  7:20pm
  
  Jessie86
  The lack of support during and after. I quickly realized that those people who I thought were my friends weren't really my friends. I was there for them through all their hard times yet none of them could be there for me.
• Reply #2 03/28/08  8:08pm
  
  atolfree2002
  The hardest thing I had to face was just that empty feeling i've had since my miscarriage. I feel like part of me is missing and although I try really hard not to think about it, sometimes it just sneaks up on me and I feel the need to shed a few tears. It's really hard knowing that I would be almost 17 weeks along now had this not happened and I look at myself in the mirror and think "there should be a baby bump growing there" and I get that empty feeling. Or when I see a pregnant woman I get that feeling. It's been really hard to cope with...I only hope it gets a little easier with time.
• Reply #3 03/29/08  10:47am
  
  AngeGirl2007
  Yeah, you learn real quickly who your friends are when you go through something like this. That's something I've had a very difficult time with too. I still have to catch myself because every now and then I find myself rubbing my tummy and then I have to remind myself that Angel is gone and then the feelings come right back.
• Reply #4 03/31/08  2:23pm
  
  angelbabies
  my sister in law who is pregnant who is someone who should not have kids. she does not take care of her children when they are inside and out!
  mt friend who works at the clinic who was pregnant too.
  not having my husband support me emotionally in any way.
  also not having a lot of "true" friends
• Reply #5 04/02/08  6:15pm
  
  AutumnMJ4477
  Looking at pregnant woman and thinking how come that can't be me?
• Reply #6 04/03/08  3:24pm
  
  Jo86
  For me it is the lack of understanding people just assume that because the pregnancy was unplanned I can just go back to my life as if nothing has happened. Also because I miscarried at 6 weeks people keep saying to me, "it was only a group of cells it wasn't a real baby" but to me it was real because I could feel the changes in my body and now I just feel empty inside.
• Reply #7 04/03/08  4:46pm
  
  AngeGirl2007
  Jo, I lost Angel when I was 10 weeks along. Life according to the ultrasound was that she had stopped developing at 6 weeks. The morning that I lost her I picked her up and held her in the palm of my hand--she took up my hand's length--and though I couldn't make everything out I made out her little hands. MY OB told me later that there was no way I could have because of the fact that she was too underdeveloped but I know what I saw and it wasn't a bunch of cells, as these "enlightened" people try to say.
• Reply #8 04/03/08  10:14pm
  
  Jessie86
  I love the "elightened" people. ((rolls eyes)) hahaha!
• Reply #9 04/07/08  3:24pm
  
  MEGNEEDSABABY
  before i had the m/c the hardest part was being pregnant knowing what happened before and what i had to go through before could happen again. during the m/c the hardest part was people telling me i didn't need a baby right now. after the m/c the hardest part, is people thinking because my physical pain is gone i should be over it. people suck at understanding sometimes...
• Reply #10 04/07/08  6:15pm
  
  lvnikita
  I think the hardest thing for me with my first loss was going from being pregnant twins one minute and not being pregnant at all the next... With my second m/c, which I am dealing right now is that my baby has not passed. She has a major heart defect and according to two different will not make it. My doctor wants me to have a D&C, to make it quick and to get started TTC again sooner...Im scared to do that. I just keep thinking, what if this baby can make it.

Losing a child is the most devastating thing any woman could ever endure but without the love and support of her partner the grieving process is even harder. Even without being a single parent it is so easy to feel alone. This is for us who are going it alone one way or another while trying to move forward after the loss of our precious babies.