JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH

Attending a wedding for the firs t time, a little
girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?'

'Because white is the color of happiness, and
today is the happiest day of her life.'

The child thought about this for a moment then
said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'

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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was
running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear
Lord, please don't let me be late!'

While she was running and praying, she tripped on
a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She
got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she
once again began to pray...

'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late.. .But
please don't shove me either!'

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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about
their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a
piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'

The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give
him $100.'

The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and
it takes eight people to collect all the money!'

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An elderly woman died last month. Having never
married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten
instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm
dead.'

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A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What
would you do if You had to arrest your own mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.'

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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph
and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small
child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy
father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
'Thou shall not kill.'

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At Sunday School they were teaching how God
created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed
especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of
Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the
matter?'

Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side.
I think I'm going to have a wife.'

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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school
after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One
said to the other, 'What do you think about all
this Satan stuff?'

The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa
Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

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You don't stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop laughing! Take heed and pass these along
to people who need a laugh.

"May you always feel God's presence."



Those who are the hardest to love are those that need it the most