I have a support group here locally, and it is growing daily. As of yesterday, I had 126 members. I guess it was inevitable that within that number of people there would be someone who was mentally ill - but I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt until they get right up in my face with their insanity.

Yesterday I sent a message to a new member who seemed to want to do more than just sit around and talk, and asked her if she would like to be an "assistant organizer" and help out with the group. I got back this really nasty note saying I had hurt her feelings, brought up issues from her past, and she was sorry for "pissing in my cornflakes." She closed with a comment about needing to "figure out how she's going to handle this..." HUH? Handle what? Oh and she made a snippy comment about a post where I had used the word "f**king" - just like that - with the asterisks - she thought that was inappropriate for a support site. She closed with something about God blessing me after all the venom she spewed at me. Oh...left something critical out...she had posted a thread, and then emailed me and asked me to delete it. I started out my message to her by saying I had deleted her post, as she asked.

Obviously this isn't the whole story, but I swear by whatever being you worship that I never said ANYTHING to this woman that was not respectful, tactful, and welcoming. I kept going back and re-reading my messages to her, and my posts in any thread on the message board on the group website that had involved her.

If you know me, and I think most of you do, I am fairly harmless unless you actually DO piss in my cornflakes, and even then I'm more likely to just back away than to engage in a negative way. I have gotten into a couple of squabbles here, mostly around religion, which is part of why this group was created - to separate the rational people of faith, as well as the atheists and others who routinely take shit for their beliefs because they are not the "norm." But what I'm trying to say is that it takes a lot to get me to fight back on my own behalf - I don't go looking for trouble.

So...now I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. She didn't respond to my message asking exactly what I have done to offend her, and offering, up front, an apology for anything I said that inadvertently brought up any old hurts from her past. I have plenty of baggage of my own, and I know that sometimes the most innocuous comment can set someone off because it pushes a hot button that you don't know about. She didn't respond to that message so now I'm just sitting here thinking WTF do I do now?

I finally asked my husband to read my messages to her, and hers to me, and he just shook his head. I asked him specifically if he saw ANYTHING in my messages that a rational person would take offense to, and he said there was nothing there that was even remotely offensive. He's a level-headed guy and an avid blogger so he's well aware of how words can be taken out of context, or misconstrued, so I trust his judgement.

So...any suggestions? Ignore it? Let it go? Let this ticking time bomb sit back and watch everything that goes on on my support group website while knowing she's got serious problems and might decide to post at any time on what a bitch I am and how badly I treated her? I deal pretty well with people who are up front about their feelings, and I'm far past the days when I needed everyone's approval, or for everyone in the world to like me. I just worry that she might start posting shit in my group and people would have no way of knowing she's a flake. Hell I didn't know for the first few messages - she seemed very rational, and to genuinely want to do something more than just sit back and be a member, which is how the whole thing started.

Help...I'm sort of stuck here.

Namaste.