Is It Any Wonder People Tell Us "But You Don't Look Sick"??


I sit alone...so tired and hurting so much an occasional tear runs down my cheek. I would love to do nothing more than to sit here or perhaps just go back to bed. But I can't...I have things I have to do. I take my time...resting in between but I manage to do a few things around the house. Managing to at least keep it clean and sanitary. Cluttered it still remains but at this point that seems to be a mute point.

Family comes home and sees what I did managed to do but yet they wonder why I didn't do more. I wear a smile and have a joke or two. "What did you do with the rest of your day? Lay around and watch TV??" It makes me wonder why did I bothered. When I felt proud of myself for getting done what I did. Why is there no praise, no thank you for what I did manage to get done?? "But you managed to do this, why can't you do that? You are smiling and even shared a laugh with us. How can you hurt when you are doing all this?"

And then on the days that I must deal with the public, I put on my best face and bite my toungue a lot more than I do with my family...which in itself is sad to admit. I smile through the pain. I tolerate things...trying not to let anyone else know that I am having difficulties.

But a while back, I had an appointment with my doctor on one of my particularly bad days. I broke down and began to cry. He tells me once I got the tears under control that he NEEDS to see me on days like this. That he needs to know exactly how I'm feeling not how controlled I can keep myself. Ever since then he has been so sympathetic to the fibromyalgia.

Perhaps shedding tears is not such a bad idea. Maybe that the only way people have of judging how we are feeling. Just a thought...

Basket Moon Crain
July 2008