I'm so sorry that you went through all of that yesterday Rod. Young people can be very thoughtless and even cruel. I think that I do understand how you're feeling; at least a little bit. Many of us with the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia simply do not receive any understanding from family members or emotional support from friends. It's very hurtful; and, I believe, the primary reason so many of us depend on this Board for our validation and emotional support.
It is very hard but we must not let cruel or ignorant people define us. You're a good man who happens to have a chronic illness. You deserve to be loved and you are deserving of emotional support.
You have friends here who will never judge you, who will always be more than pleased to listen to you, and who will gladly give you their emotional support. All you need to do is ask.
a friend, Suz
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Discussion Topic
belonging
Posted on 06/20/08, 06:31 am
as a child I was raisied to believe in God,Jesus the holy ghost and the ten commandments. When I moved from Colorado to Utah I begain to feel lost. A friend of mine asked me to go to church with him and I liked how it felt, So I joined. It was the LDS church. But now I am not to sure. It seems to me that I hear a lot of talk about the profits, but not enough about Jesus Christ. WHen I was so sick and I could hardly get out of bed, not one person would call or come by, but they would always to my wife, " tell Rod we missed him at church today" and i in return would tell her, " If they are only my friends on sunday, then I don't need those kind of friends." I have never seen such a bunch of gosipc talking, back stabbing people in the world. We have all made mistakes in this world, but how can we heal from them, when people keep bringing up the past. Yesterday (Thursday) my oldest tore me a new butt hole. She told me that I was a failuar and a loser as a father and a man. She proceeded to tell that it was not right for me to stay home and make mom work. This just tore my heart in two. I was raisied that the man would be the main bread winner in the family and that the wife would stay home and take care of the kids and everything eles. I told her that it kills me everytime I go to town and see all the jobs I used be able to do but can't now do to my rotten health. After this happened yesterday, I just felt like chucking all alaway
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Reply #1 06/20/08 7:54am
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Reply #2 06/20/08 11:59am
Big gentle hugs.....kids can be very cruel. I think there is a certain amount of denial and anger because of your own limitations that they don't know how to deal with. So they lash out. It doesn't excuse their rude, disrespectful behavior but it kind of helps explain it. AND it doesn't keep those words from cutting to the heart.
Its hard for healthy people to understand what we are going through....especially kids. My son was in a position to where he needed to take me to different appts and treatments. So he has had a good understanding from the beginning....he had to teach his dad. I think the answer to it is to educate everyone. I have spent the last year educating my family, friends and even a few of my docs. I can't always find the words but there are some really good stuff online that I have printed out and share with them. It has made a difference.
We just have to remember that those hurtful words are spoken out of ignorance and we should not take them to heart.....just be like the duck and let them roll right off our back. I know its hard but we all know we are good peope who just have been given the challenge of our lives to deal with. Those who want to think I am lazy, useless and ignorant have never taken the time to get to know me.....but it doesn't make those things true.
We are here and understand! Gentle huggles....
basket
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Reply #3 06/23/08 3:39am
thank you all so much. I love you all with every inch of my being -
Reply #4 06/29/08 9:03pm
I'm sorry you're hurting. For what it's worth, I was a child once who didn't "get it" and when my mother died (when I was 18) and my father tried to come to see me (they divorced when I was 6), I turned him away. I told my aunt (his sister) that he had hurt my mother when she was alive and I wanted nothing to do with him.
When I had had a chance to heal a bit from the loss, I realized that I had been cruel, and later in life I also came to understand that there are two sides to every story. Remember, I was only 18. With a bit more "life" under my belt, I learned a great deal, and I was blessed to have a chance to make peace with my father.
I expect that your children have some "growing" to do. Growing older is not the same as growing up. I hope they come to understand that you are not to blame for the situation you are in. Try to forgive and keep the door open if you can.
Blessings,
Sue
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