OldManBear

Our Queen has returned!

Posted on 07/12/08, 08:08 pm

One of my confidential informants contacted me with information our queen was going to be abducted. I barely missed warning her, but was able to follow her to the port area before losing her trail. I continued to look and eventually I found her wandering around the pier outside of Big Pete's Mind & Body Monsters Warehouse #2. She had a sack over her head and smelled of pleather.

Once I got her safely back home she told me a plot by Big Pete's Mind & Body Monsters to take over the world unless we expand our coverage of THE 1st ANNUAL US-GUYS CLOWN TOUR.

Warn your friends and neighbors, neighbors! Draw smiles on random faces in crowds, spray seltzer in random trousers, honk random noses, arm yourself with comedy beer bottles and break them over random heads. Resort to joke telling and compulsory tickling if you have to, but do what is necessary to prevent the takeover by Big Pete's Mind & Body Monsters.

If you need a tutorial, study these instructional videos of the 3 Stooges, the Marx Brothers, and the Keystone Kops.They are on sale here for a mere $14.95 each. Ignore the $1.00 tags; the dollar store put them there.

Break out the pogo sticks and start traveling. We have clown cars if you need to carpool.

Spread the word! Save The Queen! She looks bad in white socks and brown sandals.

• Reply #1 07/12/08  9:06pm
  
  angelpockets
  A Bear? I thought Dog saves the queen? Have you guys screwed up my cue cards again? Oh yeah..... HONK!
• Reply #2 07/12/08  9:12pm
  
  OldManBear
  Dog? what dog? My C.I. said nothing about a dog.
  
  Honk, honk!
• Reply #3 07/14/08  9:36am
  
  mynameisD
  HI.....I am back....HI.....it was terrible, it is true, but I AM BACK
  
  THANKS TO THE WONDERFUL HUGS, LOVE, CHEER, SUPPORT, GIGGLES, CLOWN CARS, CONFETTI, TUTU'S, SQUIRRELS, WHITE FACE PAINT, RUBY BEGONIAS, NEANDERTHAL CREATURES, PUS FESTERING WAMBATS, POGO STICKING PENGUINS, OH I JUST KNOW THAT I AM FORGETTING TO MENTION SOMEONE. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ALL
• Reply #4 07/15/08  4:40am
  
  JillyT
  Anything for our dear Queenie poo! Anytime, anywhere!
• Reply #5 07/15/08  4:36pm
  
  Vonny02
  You did... you forgot to mention the nasty knotted knicker gnomes..they were the ones that were nipping in and out of Big Petes Mind and Body warehouse. they kept tripping the BIG BOSSn by tying his shoelaces together and laughing when he fell flat on his face.
• Reply #6 07/15/08  5:31pm
  
  mynameisD
  Silly Headed me, Thank you Von Von for reminding me. I think that I was so excited to have escaped years and years and years of no tutu bubble baths, that I just plum forgot.
  
  Don't you just hate it when you forget your plums?
• Reply #7 07/20/08  7:58pm
  
  tricia12557
  I love plums. I try to never forget my plums. I'd rather forget my pears than my plums. They are quite yum! I'm so happy you are safe, dear Queen. We would not be the same if you were not here to rule our Queendom.
• Reply #8 07/20/08  8:16pm
  
  OldManBear
  God Save The Queen!
• Reply #9 07/20/08  9:28pm
  
  angelpockets
  BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DOG?
• Reply #10 07/20/08  11:06pm
  
  mynameisD
  Hammy, do not worry about our god DOG. He is very well, kicking me in sleep and snoring as I type this.
  
  Next time, I want to be the god Dog. We are both sitting on the Royal Couch....I in a corner and he is laying out, full lenght, on the other 2/3 of the couch.
  
  Just goes to prove....I am be QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE OF FIBROMANIA-MINCHKINLAND, QUEEN OF THE MICE, QUEEN OF MUSH, AND QUEENIEPOO, but Chips is still the DOG.
  
  Dog save us all

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