The thing is, is you have to take the life you have now and start working with it. Get busy, it's getting warmer (hot where I am), plant some flowers..they are beautiful to look at. What about getting a pet? Is there a reason you don't have one? There is this site that a friend told me about; I'll have to ask her again the name (I am so dang forgetful!) but anyhow you type in state you are at and all and they have activites and all where you can join..meet people (not dating or anything) but find some friends you can enjoy doing things that you like with. Life is hard and it's a struggle but I believe that you have to change the way you think and trust me you do. Don't think that your life is doom and gloom girl. Don't hope for things to change, make them change.
I made my way out of depression not so long ago and a few days I was slipping back down that dark side again and I was scared. I forced myself to start thinking of anything but the negative, sure it's in my head somewhere, but I refuse to let it come to the surface, I fought to damn hard to get out. You know the saying "Fake it till you make it"? There is nothing wrong with that. Wake up and say something positive about yourself in the mornings and repeat it all throughtout the day and everyday. Stay positive does bring about positive change in time. Will it change the circumstances, perhaps not but it will mean the difference in you seeing total darkness and a little light along the way. It will give you a chance to make your way to the top.
It can happen, believe in yourself. Depression is real and I know this, life is hard absolutely!!! We cope by helping ourselves by reaching out and asking for help from our friends on here, doing things that are positive, even if we have to force ourselves. Find a hobby and stay busy doing something that you like to do before depression took those away from you.
Big hugs to you. xxxx
Discussion Topic
~Alone in the "Alone Group"~
Posted on 05/04/08, 10:49 am
How messed up is that?
Does anyone wake up feeling full of dread of another day alone?
The joy has been sucked out my life.
I am only exsisting,hoping for things to change.
It's not working.
Time is not making things better, I feel worse.
I miss my other life, when it was full.
Everyone I love has gone away...
How do people cope?
The loss of family members, pets, moving to a new state, divorce.
~
Does anyone wake up feeling full of dread of another day alone?
The joy has been sucked out my life.
I am only exsisting,hoping for things to change.
It's not working.
Time is not making things better, I feel worse.
I miss my other life, when it was full.
Everyone I love has gone away...
How do people cope?
The loss of family members, pets, moving to a new state, divorce.
~
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Reply #1 05/04/08 2:21pm
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Reply #2 05/04/08 9:29pm
Brighteyes4u, beautiful response!! I agree completely and can't really find anything to add.
Isolatedandalone, you are NOT alone...I've been fighting depression for years and still feel like I'm simply existing. I too miss my other life when I had friends and activities and things that made me feel realn and special. But there's where hope lies: you had it before, you can have it again!! It doesn't just disappear, those things you had in you before to create that other life. They go dormant sometimes, but it NEVER just disappears. It's there. The difficulty is tapping into it again.
As I said before, I'm still not there. Weekends are the worst because that's when I isolate the most; workdays force me interact with people. But Brighteyes is right - as tough as it is, you have to take some action on your own. Believe me, I know how hard that is. But you have to try - feeding yourself positive messages, taking tiny steps to interact with the world like striking up a conversation with someone in the grocery line...anything that connects you with other people. It's the toughest fight in the world, but you are worth the fight and you have to believe that. I joined this group and some others on this site; I've also posted on activity websites like meetup.com and Urban Diversion and, yes, even craigslist to find other people to do things with, to get me out of my shell. I know you can do it.
Joining this group and talking to other folks about it is a huge, positive beginning. COURAGE, my friend! -
Reply #3 05/05/08 10:07am
Hi,i'm just like you,feel lost,scared just going through the motions of daily life,trying things and getting nowhere,no one seems to give a damn about you.If you want to talk i'm here -
Reply #4 05/06/08 10:08am
I feel the same way. I feel like no one cares about what I am going through. I feel unwanted by those around me. I have been looking for a job, but so far I have just gotten rejections. I would love to go outside and do something, but what. I used to have so much energy and was full of life, but not now. I don't know how to get back to that life. -
Reply #5 05/09/08 12:15am
Bright eye's is right. God bless and I'll pray- love Tom -
Reply #6 05/13/08 11:50am
Hi hun! they are all rite you need to get out and I know we talked about this before in my discusion thread! It is not easy but you can push threw this hard time. I know your husband is not as supportive as you need him to be but maybe you need to really sit him down and let him know this is serious. If he still doesnt listen then you need to do for yourself to get out of this misery! We all love you and you are not alone! I am here if you need me. Big hugs. -
Reply #7 05/14/08 2:19pm
It is hard to get out and do things when the loss of joy has sucked all the energy,passion,and motivation from you--it's really hard.And when it takes huge effort to even step outside,or to feel happiness,then the thought of outdoor activities and changing my life for the better often just makes me feel even less energy than usual, like I will never be up to such things.I have refractory(basically untreatable)chronic severe depression, and unless treated with therapy and/or,specific medications,I could not be here, no matter how positively I tried to behave.Also, getting over such huge devastations as loss of family members,pets,divorce,and feeling uprooted from your old home,are things that I think might be useful for you to deal with in therapy,to go through the needed cycles of mourning, until you are nearer to healing.You cannot feel joy or enthusiasm for your life when your life has been so shattered,and is so painful still.And,it is best not to bottle the pain up or numb yourself to it(not that you do)much better to talk to someone on a forum like D.S. or to a grief counselor(a therapist trained specifically to help people cope with losses and transitions in their lives.)I know I held on to my grief over my relative and gaurdian's suicide for years, trying to go on like nothing had happened,and I wound up breaking down severely.Your losses are genuine,and they(and you)deserve you time,focus, mourning,and devotion that is needed to heal them--and you.
If you have any comments,complaints--anything!-- or would just like to talk,please feel welcome to message me,any time. And I wish you the very strongest wishes I have for you to get well--and be reunioned with your "old self." I have seen those reunions happen fairly often before,and I believe it can happen for you.xoxoCaitrin
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