Last April I discovered dh had been texting and talking to someone from work a lot. The texts were very flirtatious and sexual in nature. I confronted him and then her. Long story short, nothing sexual happened between them. However, I found out that they have been friends for over ten yrs. I NEVER knew that. Their relationship has always been one where he listens to her problems and flirts with her. So, I demand we go to marriage counseling. It helps than it doesn't. It feels like a wound that starts to heal and then the band-aid gets ripped off. I believe him when he says nothing happened. The problem I am having is that he says since nothing sexual happened and never would have that he has done nothing wrong. I really want him to understand that he has violated our marriage with is actions. I guess the good news is that he has cut off all communication. I have verified this with phone records and his secretary. The bad thing was that the secretary noticed that she hadn't been coming around that much anymore. It bothers me b/c he has spent YEARS building a relationship with this woman instead of me, his wife. We have been married for 25 yrs. and have 5 children. So, how do I move on and get over the hurt that I feel? I have never felt so betrayed. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if this had been a fling and they had had sex. I'm open to any advice here. :) I go to individual counseling as well as our joint.