heartgirl

A Member Dilemma for DS Charity Challenge

Posted on 05/02/08, 06:54 pm

Nicholas ~ I received a question from one of our group members as follows:

I think its awesome that which ever group wins can donate money to their fave charity. I think its awesome to try and add other people to the group!
But my thing about it is, we want to add people we know such as family and friends right? What if someone like me, doesnt really want friends and family to actually know whats going on because this is a safe haven?
I go back and forth with this actually. Part of me is like "WOOHOO, I want to be invloved and get more people, have friends and family on here to know what this site is all about." But the other part is like "Man, I wanted this site to have other that dont actually KNOW KNOW me to become friends with and get support. I dont want my judgemental family or friends that dont really know whats goin gon to be really worried about me, to actually know whats going on in my personal life, a safe haven."
So, then part of me feels bad for not wnating to, but the other part of me is just trying to keep safe and not let others know. I need advice.

This is how I answered her but would like to know if DailyStrength has any better suggestions that I can relay to her.

YOU come first and I know all about the safe haven. It is crucial to our success that we keep our safe haven. So ... do not feel obligated to bring this to others if it interferes with your success.

That said, there are a few options. One, you can continue on without inviting anyone else, no guilt attached. Two, you can elect to choose only those you may feel comfortable with or that you trust to share ... in my case, there are previous coworkers or friends I have taken from other employments. Three, you can elect to invite everyone, keep what you have now and make your journal entries private ... and make a new account for yourself in which you do not show your identity ... you remain anonymous and pick up with those of us you have made as friends. In other words, you make a new account, pick a new name that it not identifiable, i.e. Pacific Princess ... and you notify your friends on here ... i.e. ME and others ... that you will be communicating to them under Pacific Princess. The only thing is you will not be able to add pictures to that account as I do not think you can lock them down from being viewed by others.

Hope this helps ... the choice is yours. I'll ask officially what DS suggests and will let you know their response and what is advised. Perhaps they have a more creative approach. My first concern ... and yours ... must be YOU!!!

Love you always and remember ... We're in this together ... to the end .. to be healthy ...

Nicholas ~ Looking forward to your response. Thank you! :]

• Reply #1 05/03/08  2:21pm
  
  nicholas
  Hi,
  This seems like a very complete and thoughtful response to one of the challenges all members face not only during this challenge, but throughout there time here at DS. Anonymity must always be a personal decision, and we respect that members may wish to discuss issues on DS that they're not ready to share with friends or family.
  the main other option for the challenge is to invite people you don't know personally through other websites, forums, or even through anonymous fliers at places such as community centers and libraries. Page 2 of the news section has a brief "Tips" section with more details.
• Reply #2 05/03/08  5:21pm
  
  heartgirl
  Nicholas ~ Thank you for your response and for your belief that the correct information was shared with this DS member.
  
  When you mentioned this could be shared "through other websites, forums", I am concerned because I remember another group discussion post in the DS Charity Challenge in which a group founder did this and stated "This may be harder than I thought. I am a member of SparkPeople and just posted in the forums there -- not personal email messages. My post was deleted and I was warned that if I posted anything similar again even for a good cause and charity my account would be closed. I'm posting at Yahoo Groups and actually on the Susan G. Komen website also. Even with my message being of a personal nature, people are looking at me as a spammer."
  
  My question is this ... if someone came to DailyStrength and posted this type of message, in support of another organization trying to recruit membership to their organization on a DS Discussion Board/Forum or via posts to their personal contacts, would DS consider this spamming and give the same warning?
  
  As far as your recommendation to provide flyers to community centers and libraries, this is something we had not thought of and will research the viability of this.
  
  Thank you again.
  
  Ranae
• Reply #3 05/04/08  2:14pm
  
  nicholas
  Hi,
  
  Posting at other websites and forums must be done thoughtfully and carefully or it may be perceived as spam. If you join a website for the purpose of talking about another website or product then, your post or even your membership may be removed.
  
  There are however, ways to improve your chances:
  
  1. Read the rules and guidelines of the forum or site, then see if members actually follow the rules. Do the moderators enforce the rules?
  2. Look over the activity and posts of other members. What are they posting about? How do they react when other people write about websites, services, and products?
  3. Join, and before talking about DS, spend some time to make friends and develop relationships, and get a feel for how things work.
  
  
  Imagine you're walking on the sidewalk in an urban area and a person walks up to you and says "Have you heard about DailyStrength? It's free and anonymous!" Many if not most people will feel accosted, and suspicious. Why is this stranger telling me about something unless they have some angle, something to sell? What's in it for them?
  
  On the other hand, imagine you're at a party, and you meet a stranger and have an interesting chat. After a while you begin to get comfortable with the person, you begin to develop a little trust and confidence in the person. Later in the chat they mention this great free anonymous website that has a charity challenge going on. It's much more likely that the information will be well received and followed up on.
  
  I hope this helps a bit, and that you're having a beautiful Sunday.
  
• Reply #4 05/04/08  3:25pm
  
  heartgirl
  Thank you for your thoughtful response, Nicholas, and for the best wishes for a beautiful Sunday. Both are much appreciated and I hope the same is true for you! Many hugs .... Ranae

The official group for the 2008 Charity Challenge!