lostnlookin

any suggestions?

Posted on 08/11/08, 10:21 pm

have any of you ever noticed that right before your guy or gal goes away, things get crazy? like the least little thing turns into a huge fight? or am i the only one who has to deal with this? I'll be honest, 9 months in iraq terrifies me because of this. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

• Reply #1 08/12/08  11:05am
  
  Brittanyg16
  i think its just b/c both partners are really frustrated that soon they will not be together. idk how to deal with it b/c i go thru it too when he leaves and im still kinda new at all this too. just hang in there and have a heart to heart talk with him. maybe that will help out.
• Reply #2 08/12/08  10:33pm
  
  LilyGirl
  Every time Bear goes away - whether it's for FX, training, or now on his way to Iraq - we have stupid fights. I agree that it's because you're not going to be together for a while and that is so stressful. It's hard to be away from each other to begin with, but add the stress of where he's going and the fact that communication is going to be limited... That's a lot to deal with. When the little fights pop up, remind each other how much you love each other and repaet "We are strong enough to do this." Sometimes it feels like a lie, because we don't always feel so strong, but it might be just enough to make it through. Good luck, sweetie. We're all here.
• Reply #3 08/12/08  11:30pm
  
  lostnlookin
  When we first got married I would get so upset when we'd fight that all I could do was cry. Now I fight back. I get just as loud as him and say just as many hateful and hurtful things. But in the back of my mind and in the middle of a tirade I'll yell at him that I love him and that we will get through this just like we do everything else. What scares me is i don't cry anymore.
• Reply #4 08/13/08  3:47pm
  
  MediokerKate
  Ah I remember the fighting. It happend a couple times when he was first got over seas too. It's the deployment jitters. They try to push us away for feeling guilty about leaving us. So it's easier for them to leave with us mad at them so they don't feel as bad. It's hard to explain but i've had to come across that analogy a few times since I've been with my fiance. It's defiantely hard and frustrating.
• Reply #5 08/14/08  11:54am
  
  lindseyann1014
  Yup! - It's stressful for the both of you and everything is just an issue.. You are so overwhelmed with everything happening that the smallest thing seems so big.. I hate it but you just need to refocus and tell one another it'll be okay and you'll make it thru.. - It worked for me..

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