When I prematurely began this journey almost fifty-two years ago little did I know the impact that dogs would have in my life, my well-being and life saving. I guess the only thing that I knew was that I wanted out and to get on with it.

Most of my life has been spent in the company of dogs, there have been times when circumstances or situations didn't allow me to have a four legged friend by my side and always missed their company. My first experience with these animals came with the family dog, a purebreed Dalmation called Cabbie. She stepped in and protected me until my parents could intervene. I was to young to remember this first incident but the story goes that I was out front of our house back in a suburb of Detroit and we lived on a private and hard to find lane and a car pulled up and the people inside tried to lure me into their car. Cabbie got between the car and me and just went off, barking, growling and carrying on as a true protector of the family until my parents were able to get outside and put and end to the kidnapping attempt. I didn't know of this situation until well after she had passed away which always made me sad because I never got the chance to thank her. We had two more dogs after her before I moved out of the house and got my own first dog.

Once again, I wouldn't have thought that he would step in and watch over me when I was unfit to do so. I was in the middle of my alcoholism and was totally wasted and pissed off at the world and decided that I needed to get out of Detroit and fast. I came home from the bar, packed a bag and grabbed Bucky and hit the road for anywhere north. I was flying up I-75 and about an hour out of Detroit and realized that Bucky was digging his front claws into my thigh. He knew that I was in no shape to be driving and wanted me to stop. That was all that was needed to pull me out of my clouded thinking, pull over and rest for about an hour. During that period I came to my senses and turned around and headed home. Who knows what might have happened had he not done what he did and I hadn't paid attention to his concern. Bucky also tried to warn me another time shortly there after about a person that we let into our apartment. He went after the young boy who lived next door to us and I ripped into him and scolded him badly. Once again, he knew more than I and was trying to tell me something...it turned out that this young man had been the one who had been robbing our house the past five times, and who eventually caught the house next door to ours on fire. To this day the pain that I feel when I think about that incident is terrible. He was doing his job and I treated him wrong...please forgive me Bucky! Unfortunately I had to put him down a couple of years later...once again I never really thanked him for possibly saving my life and protecting his home and master. Alcoholism is a very selfish disease...PLEASE FORGIVE ME BUCKY!

I moved to Boston for six years to attend school...finally, and wasn't allowed to have pets. During that period I finally woke up and realized that I was a drunk and major screw-up and got sober. I returned to Detroit three months after my father died from alcoholism, only to have my mother pass away three and a half months later. Lower than low I was watching TV and this local morning show had a segment on adopting pets from the Humane Society and there I saw him...Davison Freeway. That afternoon I went down there and saved his and to a degree my own life. I shortened his name to Freeway and our lives began. I made the decision to pack up and move a few years later. Home wasn't home for me anymore since my folks had passed away and unfortunately I had no way to travel with him. One of my brothers took over his guardianship where he lived on, chasing squirrels and just being Freeway the Wonder Dog. I'll never forget the call when it came that they had to put him down because he was just too sick to help. Thank you Freeway for allowing me to save your life and mine at the same time. You never knew what you did for me.

I relocated to North Carolina to start a new and have a happier life and fulfill my dream of owning my own restaurant. There was no time for a pet during this period and the period that followed after would have made the coming years much easier but I wasn't there to have the gift of unconditional love given to me. I hated myself too much. After tweleve years I sold everything that I had left and made another attempt to find happiness, somewhere out west this time. Well, six weeks later I came dragging my sorry butt back to NC but moved up to Asheville and met my next four legged friend.

The woman I rented from had a dog named Zeus. Zeus is a German shepherd/wolf mix and finally after some time and work on my part we became good friends. He wasn't use to having men around and he didn't know what to do with me. His master was always on the go and Zeus and I began spending a great deal of time together and the bond continued to grow and get stronger each day. She had to sell her house, had met someone that was afraid of Zeus and she moved out before I did, but left Zeus behind because her lover had cats and they needed time to get settled. Our bond grew even stronger. She evnetually came back one day and took Zeus with her, I was going to move in with them later until I could move back to where I had originally lived. My first visit, Zeus was so happy to see me again, made my heart swell. We had made the decision to have Zeus come live with me while they both sold their houses. So three months later we both moved to my cousin's home, a farm with over fifty acres of pasture and a river for him to run, play and just be a free spirit.

We settled in and began our lives together. For the longest time he posted himself in the front window looking for his mom to come get him but she never came. After six months I made the decision that Zeus was mine for good. My stay at my cousin's wasn't suppose to be more than a year or two and after a year and a half I began getting very anxious about my or should I say our future. Things at work were becoming unbelieveably stressful and everything started turning south very fast and I wasn't coping with it well. The stress, pressure and unknown future were too heavy a burden for me to handle. For the past tweleve years since I lost my business, my home, car, dignity and just about my life my thoughts once again turned seriously to suicide.

I had two close calls with taking the big step last summer but the only thing that stopped me was...who was going to take care of Zeus? What would happen to him? I couldn't let him down, he had been discarded by one person already and I couldn't do that to him. He was my reason for continuing on and getting through this dark and difficult period. I owed it to him and all of my other dogs to not take my life. In their honor and my love of Zeus I made it through.

The holidays came and no word on moving out yet and working so much and so much stress and constant anxiety my body finally gave out. I got sick, majorily sick. Emergency operation and all. I had gone into work that night and worked my shift, gone to the doctors and told to get to the ER immediately. Upon doing so, I was rushed into surgery and once in ICU I had the hospital contact my aunt to go over and let Zeus out and feed him. He had been inside for 18 hours. She went over and tried to get him outside but he wouldn't have anything to do with it. He knew something wasn't right. I was able to return home around noon the next day and he was so happy to see me. He hadn't been out in thirty-six hours. He never made a single mess in the house during that period. I checked everywhere and not a single pee stain or anything. I let him out and I'm sure he took the longest pee of his life.

For the next two weeks my sickness continued to grow. I was totally strung out on antibiotics and pain pills and I wasn't really aware of just how bad things were...but Zeus knew. I had lost over twenty pounds in two weeks, could barely walk and constant pain. When I took him out for a walk he would walk right by my side the whole time. He would stop to do his business and that was it. No extra stops for sniffing other strange smells or running ahead of me on the leash, right by my side the whole time. He knew that I couldn't walk very well and never rushed me once. On the rare occasion when I felt a bit better and felt that I could handle a walk in the pasture once off the leash he stayed by my side. Not running ahead or anything like he normally does. He might go a few feet ahead but no further. He knew I wasn't well.

Then everything started to get worse, the pain was becoming unbareble, every doctor aggravated the condition and gave stronger meds to help. It got so bad one night that it took over tweleve pain pills to knock me out to get some sleep. I was ready to grab a bottle of vodka and have a good time...for the second time in 24 years I was at the edge of drinking again. That night, on my last stagger to get pain pills Zeus made an executive decision. I got in bed and he hopped on top of the bed. A major no-no for him, but he knew better than I and I couldn't fight him. He didn't crowd me but was close enough for me to reach out and touch if needed...which I did several times. He gave me such comfort! He did this three nights in a row until I was admitted back into the hospital again.

Upon returning from the hospital three days later he eagerly greeted me at the front door and then did his usual trick of giving off attitude of what do you mean leaving me behind? He got into this habit with his mom and it would last for hours, but this time he knew better. He got over it within minutes and followed me back into the bedroom where I immedately laid down in bed, with him right beside me on the floor.

My health very slowly began to improve and then I noticed that he wasn't behaving like himself. I figured it was a phase which he goes through every so often but one night he wouldn't come in when it was time for me to leave for work. I finally gave up and went to work, returned twenty minutes later and finally got him in. I didn't want him chasing and scarring anybody in the morning who might be out for a walk. Once again, little did I know.

I returned from work to find the house literally littered with vomit and runny stool from one end to the other. Got him outside for a walk and then back in and ran to store to get carpet cleaner before it stained all the rugs and carpet. Came home, more mess. Got it cleaned up and by that time it was too late to contact his Vet...no after hours number. Next morning up and couldn't find him, I honestly thought he had crawled off and died somewhere. Found him laying in the kitchen and more messes. He had gotten sick with vomit and bloody stool that night and in total over forty-five times in the past twenty-four hours. I saw the blood and absolute panic set in, thought that someone had poisoned him for sure. Got him to the Vet and they figured out that he had picked up some sort of parasite and was very ill. Gave him some medicine, special diet to get him to try to eat and if no improvement get him back next day. Back to Vet next day and they kept him for a few hours and picked him up after work.

During this time it truly hit me for the first time on how much I loved and needed Zeus in my life. If by chance he died, I made the decision that I would go right behind him. It wasn't worth it if he wasn't by my side! I realized that I wouldn't be able to face being homeless and traveling the country in order to find a new home, better job and life without his love, support and strength to guide me. We were and are a team! Side by side, joined at the hip. When we walked we walked side by side just as he had done with me, never leaving it for a minute. I knew I loved him but never realized how much until that moment when I thought I might lose him. He had to get better, I couldn't fail him! In about two weeks time he became his old self and was running, sniffing and having a ball.

We had taken care of each other. He with me in his own way and me with a good Vet and love and my strength to see him through. I have learned to try to let go of the fear of the unknown and the future about what will happen when we're leaving NC behind for good because I have Zeus by my side. I will protect him, take care of him, feed and water him regardless of what happens during our journey to find a new home. He will eat and drink before I and always have me right by his side to watch over him and take care of him.

It was then that I realized why when my father was buried he had placed in his pocket Zack's tags...carry with him forever. At the time I thought it an insult to us his family but now I fully understand that need to keep a little piece of him with him.

Zeus has long since recovered and I'm about 90-95% recovered and he KNOWS how much he is loved, valued and cared for every single day of our lives together. As he does with me in his own way. We are and always will be a team. Thank you Zeus for being there for me and knowing things even when I didn't...little did I know, but what I have learned I have learned from you. So this story is a tribute to you and all the others that have come before you to watch over me when I didn't know any better. My gratitude and love for all of you will never end.