yes, i feel the same way much of the time although i have not, i was going to say dx'd with did but i was, when it was called mpd...but anwyay i understand. my therapist doesn't specialize in did or dissocative disorders but he understands and i trust him so that matters more than direct experience. you can look on the issdd - whatever it is site, if you want the exact name i'll look it up but it's an international organization and you might find a therspit there you can afford. i found mine through someone i found there. but yeah i hear you loud and clear, i wish i could offer you more but since i can't i'll tell you that you're not alone and i'll always listen.
Discussion Topic
I don't want DID!
Posted on 06/30/08, 09:44 pm
Maybe I'm going through a phase or maybe this is good-- I'm not really for sure? Nonetheless, I hate having DID. I don't want it. I hate dissociating. I'm sick of it. It scares me, it frightens me, and it's screwing up my life. There was a time when I was being abused that I know it helped save my life, but now...I see no purpose for it. I want control over it! I'm trying so hard. I feel so alone. My friends don't understand why I sometimes go missing for a day or so. I can't explain to them why. It's getting old. I've gotten myself into unsafe situations. I want to be safe. I'm lost as what to do? Has anybody ever felt like this? Does anybody have any suggestions? Financially I canâ??t see anybody who specializes in DID. I see a therapist with whom Iâ??m beginning to do trauma work with. Sheâ??s wonderful, but I donâ??t think she full understands DID. I feel so lost, frustrated, and alone.
-
Reply #1 07/11/08 1:29am
-
Reply #2 09/16/08 2:49pm
your friends get upset if you are missing for a day?! i think its time to get some new friends. they sound very controlling. i am missing on a regular basis. if i had to be at the same place all the time i would totally hate it. perhaps a different job. maybe one where you are on the road and around different people all the time and they won't know the difference as long as all of your alters are okay with you working.
if your therapist doesn't understand you try another one without telling the present one until you find one that does understand you! -
Reply #3 09/16/08 11:37pm
I found the only people that understand a DID person is another DID person, and many on the MDP group also believe that the best therapists, and psychologists..etc are those that are DID themselves. That is why being connected to others like yourself to gain support and just have someone to talk to that can understand what your going through. Only 2 of my friends know about my DID and I am getting more comfortable sharing that i am DID with others. No they dont understand that you disapear for legnths of time, because they truly dont understand what you are going through. Maybe you should take one really good friend and let them in when you do disaasociate and let them gain an understanding of what is going on. They also may make friends with the other alters.
-
Reply #4 11/12/08 12:56am
The therapist that we see does not specialize in did, but he does have a deep understanding of it but he is not did himself. Sometimes trying to find a therapist that is affordable and the right fit for you and yours can take time, but I would be honest with your current therapist if you do start to look for another one that way you don't risk burning that bridge because who knows you may need her in the future for some reason and if you are upfront and honest with her she may be more inclined to help you.
Anyways thats our 2 cents
Welcome
Join This Group
For anyone who experiences dissociation whether DDNOS DD or DID. Be aware that alters may post at anytime please be accepting of that!
