i liked how you had two verses w/I inside of me and two w/me inside of i
i hope you find the i and me inside of you....(hugs)
Discussion Topic
THE I INSIDE
Posted on 05/12/08, 02:41 pm
im not to happy with this what do you all think
THE I INSIDE
The I inside of me
needs to find the key
to see what I contain
so i wont stay the same
The I inside of me
will look hard to see
the good that comes along
that will help me become strong
The me inside of I
will begin to fly
to find my goal
to make my life whole
The me inside of I
will no longer cry
for what is past
has gone at last
THE I INSIDE
The I inside of me
needs to find the key
to see what I contain
so i wont stay the same
The I inside of me
will look hard to see
the good that comes along
that will help me become strong
The me inside of I
will begin to fly
to find my goal
to make my life whole
The me inside of I
will no longer cry
for what is past
has gone at last
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Reply #1 05/13/08 12:53am
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Reply #2 05/13/08 5:26am
i think its good ness ness, its very clever. well done x huggles xxx -
Reply #3 05/13/08 5:33am
i agree with jannis... love the way you put the words together, and the meaning is simply beautiful xxx you will fly one day! -
Reply #4 05/13/08 8:25am
I think this is wonderful
The 3rd person usage is Beautiful
something like I was wrote in this manner
Bravo!!
Hugs & Love
Ravin
" I Am The SHE Out Here That I HAVE To Be
I Am The ME Inside That I WANT To Be " -
Reply #5 05/14/08 8:13am
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Reply #6 05/14/08 2:27pm
This is a very clever, but also a very empowering poem! -
Reply #7 05/15/08 7:59am
Very strong and positve! I love to see poetry like this!! Thank you -
Reply #8 05/15/08 8:39pm
Good job Nessa!!! xx -
Reply #9 05/16/08 3:55am
wow this is powerful i feel you on this one I love the last verse the me inside of i will no longer cry for what is Past has gone at last. thanks for sharing. -
Reply #10 05/16/08 2:20pm
thank you for all your comments
Welcome
