BLINKYBILL

MOVING FORWARD IN LIFE

Posted on 07/19/08, 03:26 am

as a child abuse survivor and a child of a alcoholic parent I never thought I would be able to move forward with my life. Isnt that something we all go through, sometimes we shut it all out not realising that is has already affected us in our relationships, friendships, lives. If only those who had committed the act had realised how devastating it has been for us to exist. Now I have a friend who is going through the exact same thing I went through, with the exception he is a man. For so many years he blocked it all out. He is gay and has always believed that is because he was born gay, he has never had any female friends, hated his mother and father without understanding why and our paths crossed and we became friends. I told him about how my sister abused me as a child and how it had affected me as an adult and he has gradually started to open up. Now after I found out about my sister and what she had done and talked about everything, I then realised I need to know who I really was because I had been living a lie for so long that I didnt know myself. My inner child didnt know who I was either so the long painful journey began and I am blessed in that I eventually came out the other side a better understanding person that the one who had existed. Now in my life I am a Life Coach and Mentor online to others in the same situation as I have been. To those who read this perhaps this will give you the strength to face the past and finally let go and find the inner you and finally start moving forwards.

• Reply #1 07/19/08  12:15pm
  
  Sundevil
  I'm really sorry that all of these emotions are coming back to haunt you. I am actually going through a very similar time in my life right now. I'm glad that you have a friend that can understand you and is willing to be there for you. I'm sure you are not living a lie, it's just tough to admit everything that has happened. I think a certain part of every victim of abuse feels as if they are living a lie. It's not like it's easy to just start talking about how you were abused with every person you meet. So most people in our lives tend not to know about all of the abuse. It seems like we are keeping a secret because if anyone else finds out then we will be banished. However, I have found through talking with friends that they are much more supportive than I thought. I had no reason to be embarrassed, although I still find that I am. Maybe a way that you might feel better about it, since you are a life coach and mentor, that you can explain to those that come to you, that you in fact know exactly how you feel.
• Reply #2 07/21/08  7:32pm
  
  hlks
  one line confuses me: "He is gay and has always believed that is because he was born gay"
  
  of course he was born gay. what does this have to do with the abuse in his childhood?

This group's primary focus is physical and/or emotional child abuse: our memories, how it's affected us as adults, how we've survived, etc.