Discussion Topic
Can you relate?
Posted on 07/14/08, 08:11 pm
Has anyone ever had their faith waver because of things you were going through. By that...I mean, have you prayed and prayed to be cured or delivered from something, and you believed it with all your heart, but over time you began to have doubts even though it tells you in the WORD that you are healed. I believe in Jesus with all my heart and all my soul, but I just don't know what to do anymore but keep praying, but my faith isn't as strong as it once was and my christian walk is suffering because of it. I use to have a strong desire to read my bible and go to church, but now, I kind of drag my feet doing so. I still pray everyday, but even it doesn't feel the same. I feel like such a hypocrite because I was once so close to GOD, but now...I'm not where I should/wanna be. With all the chaos going on in the world, I'm looking around thinking to myself "What am I'm doing, you have to do better." Feel free to share your thoughts...and prayers. Thank You!
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Reply #1 07/14/08 9:28pm
I can so relate to what you are saying. A few years ago I lost 18 loved ones within 18 months. Two were murdered, one suicide, some to sudden death and some were expected because of illness or age. Plus, my health problems were getting worse. I am missing a bone in the lower part of my back and the bones that are there are rubbing together causing extreme pain. Then I started passing out for no reason. My faith didn't just waiver...my beilef in God did. One day I just screamed out to Him to prove that He did exist. That night He did. To make a long story short, I ended up in the ER with extreme chest pains due to an allergic reaction to Gingko Biloba...trying to self cure myself of vertigo. They gave me a medicine to counter act it, but it stopped my heart and the next thing I knew I was in Heaven. The rest is a long story that I will share with you if you want later. You would think after having that kind of experience...things would get better...they didn't. I found out that I have a heart condidtion that cannot be fixed, my heart just stops and I pass out. My husband was heavily into porn and then our 17 year old daughter ended up pregnant. We went through pure hell for a long time. It wasn't until recently that I decided to try and change "me". I have been a Christian since I was 9, but hadn't really acted like one. Sure I would live "right" for a while, but then I would slowly back off. I finally totally surrendered my life to Christ, I told Him to use me in any way He wanted. I was totally and utterly HIS!!! Then I started reading inspirational books...I just found it hard to read my Bible, really didn't know where to start. It all seemed like a bunch of words that didn't pertain to me. But, very slowly I got back into reading my Bible and even going to church. I hadn't been in almost a year. Now I love going to church and reading my Bible is an awesome experience each time I open it. I decided that God would be the first person I talked to and spend time with each morning and the last person at night. I get up an hour early each day just for that. This didn't happen overnight...it took many times to get the discipline (for me) to do this. Now, my problems didn't go away. My husband did get out of the porn once he saw the change in me, but my heart problems are still there. My cardiologist says that he can't promise me that I'll live the next day...so I try to live each day as if it were my last, because it very may could be. We now have a beautiful grand daughter that is 18 months old that I love more than life itself. I've said all of this to let you know that there is hope. God has a reason for allowing us to go through things and to remain there. All things work for His glory. Keep trusting in Him, the problems may not go away, but He can give you peace that you will not be able to understand. I'm sorry this was so long...I tried to do it briefly, but guess I didn't succeed. Please know that you will be in my prayers. -
Reply #2 07/15/08 6:25am
Thankyou theQuietman for bringing this up and thankyou dianne for brinking light back in my eyes...my bf of 9 months decided he didnt love me anymore(mainly cause of the way i was behaving...which was immature and irrational)...i prayed so hard over the last few weeks and so many others prayed with me and the guy who would not even think about giving me another chance decided we should try once more and we have been back together...but there's still a tiny problem..he wants a no-strings attached relationship...after this when i have been praying i cant seem to have that connection with the almighty..i feel like i am praying just for the sake of and even bible reading seems like that. i'm going to put my complete trust in him and surrender myself completely. and just wait for the path the lord's going to provide! -
Reply #3 07/15/08 3:51pm
Thank you for your support and testimonies. I realize it's going to take some time and that I have to just work at it. Like I said, I love and trust God with all my heart and soul...and seeing the world the way it is, I believe we are living in the LAST DAYS and I want to be as close to God as possible. I can't allow a little bad health to drive me insane. Again...Thank you. -
Reply #4 07/15/08 6:22pm
The Lord told us several times about the end times and I cannot help but think we are getting close to that. Even Mother Teresa doubted. In fact she doubted Jesus most of her life but continued to live by His tenets.
I personally have been where you are now. I suggest that there are many who either are, have been or will be. The Lord will allow us to remain in our infirmities for several reasons. One is to test you; one is to toughen you. The Lord does not lead you into deep water to drown you. He knows your heart as we speak. Invite Him to sit and visit with you about it. Feel and see his presence with you and allow his peace to shroud you. He really does love you and He does forgive you for your present state and He is appreciative that you have not given up the faith. Maybe He does not want you to be "quiet" any longer. -
Reply #5 07/15/08 8:06pm
I can really relate. I went through a period where the Lord was really my passion and I sought Him out at every opportunity. Somehow that passion has waned and I don't look forward to reading my Bible or Christian books like I used to... I sort of have to push myself to do it. I'm struggling in a couple of areas of my life and I really need to know Him more and more, let Him be number one and turn to Him instead of turning to other things for comfort. I'm sure if we make the time to seek Him out and fill up on His word... He will give us the desire to come back for more. Sometimes feelings follow actions. -
Reply #6 07/28/08 4:17pm
When I find myself in a "dry season" in my walk with Him, I find it important to remember that I have a choice to either run back into the world with reckless abandon OR to just keep pressing into Him with the knowledge that even though I don't "feel" Him the way I once did, and my passionate zeal has waned, I still have to diligently seek Him in order to reach the next level on my journey into eternity.
Frankly, I tend to take a break, run head long into the world, hit a brick wall and then come crawling back to Him in desperation. I do wish I had the wisdom and the fortitude to make the better choice... but this world and all its lusts of the flesh and carnal misgivings can definately have a draw on me when I am already feeling a little disjointed from Him. I don't mean to backslide when I do... but the experience always ends up humbling me...
Life is funny... you can either go onto your knees willingly, or life will PUT you on them. Either way... ALL WILL BOW.
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