Gecko,
To explain my comment 'Often by simply stating to oneself one morning "I am going to have a positive attitude to life" you may be setting yourself up to fail, my basic thought process was that you cannot expect that its like somebody waves a magic wand and suddenly you will never have a negative thought again.
When you decide to work to have a positive attitude you have to realise that you will have to work at it and it will take time and there will be set backs.
On the other hand it is really worth it so of course I would advise everybody to develop a positive attitude. Just don't expect it will happen overnight and when it doesn't give up.
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Discussion Topic
Self Esteem and where does it come from.
Posted on 06/15/08, 04:26 am
I read an article that got me to thinking. It was about self esteem and where it came from. This article defined self esteem as how much we value ourselves. It is our own self love. It is also how much we are worth. It went on to say that no one is born with self esteem. Many of the ideas about ourselves are acquired before adulthood. These ideas come from the way we are treated, how much affection and attention we receive. If we do not receive the necessities as food clothing warmth and touch and the sense of safety we do not develope positive self esteem. Later as we develope language, what is said to us and about us affects how we feel about ourselves. A lot goes into the making of our self esteem.
This got me to thinking about the many situations babies are born into. What if the parents of a baby do not have good self esteem of themself. What if they never received the things named above that go together to make up a healthy self worth. Also what about the situation to which the child is born or grows up up is less than idea. This also has to do how this child sees himself or how the parents see themselves.
So many factors go into the building of self esteem. If my mother did not receive the things that she needed to build her worth; how could she pass that on to me. Can I go throughout my life blaming my mom for not giving me what I needed to grow up into woman that valued myself. Somewhere along the line I have got to take responsibility for myself and nuture and build up myself in the areas that I am lacking in. I am so thankful that low self esteem can be mended. We can each make changes in ourselves as to have whatever it is that we need. I would like others thoughts on this subject.
This got me to thinking about the many situations babies are born into. What if the parents of a baby do not have good self esteem of themself. What if they never received the things named above that go together to make up a healthy self worth. Also what about the situation to which the child is born or grows up up is less than idea. This also has to do how this child sees himself or how the parents see themselves.
So many factors go into the building of self esteem. If my mother did not receive the things that she needed to build her worth; how could she pass that on to me. Can I go throughout my life blaming my mom for not giving me what I needed to grow up into woman that valued myself. Somewhere along the line I have got to take responsibility for myself and nuture and build up myself in the areas that I am lacking in. I am so thankful that low self esteem can be mended. We can each make changes in ourselves as to have whatever it is that we need. I would like others thoughts on this subject.
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Reply #11 08/07/08 12:47am
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Reply #12 08/07/08 5:09am
Agree with you Simon... Add'n that Positive/Negative Thoughts are not the same as Rational/Irrational Thoughts. I find that life moves smoother for me when I focus on Rational/Irrational thinking... Keeps me in the realm of reality. -
Reply #13 08/08/08 12:46am
Ok thank you I understand, that makes sense now. Although it would be nice if it did happen overnight. lol
LastLadyLen - thanks for your comment. It is so hard for me to think rationally sometimes! -
Reply #14 08/08/08 1:25am
Gecko you are really managing to keep up the inertia in maintaining a positive attitude.
You should really be proud of your achievment.
If you find you are having a bad day please let us know and we will help you lift your mood. -
Reply #15 08/09/08 1:37am
Wow - thank you so much. I cant tell you how much I appreciate your kind words my friends. -
Reply #16 09/13/08 6:52pm
Thanks Chazhung and Simon. You just gave me the strength to making my first step towards my goal to stop yelling. Thanks so much. I feel positive and empowered and so glad I just joined the group. Thanks Simon for the invite. Barb-Detroit -
Reply #17 09/20/08 12:33am
good for you Barb!! You are awesome my friend. -
Reply #18 09/20/08 5:00am
You're my kinda gal, Okiegirl! Your essay on Self-Esteem is wonderful!! -
Reply #19 09/21/08 2:26pm
Self esteem starts at childhood. How did you feel growing up? My dad was Sczophrenic (mispelled) and never lived at home. My mom raised 6 kids working for Chrysler's. I never got the chance to have a dad. That lowers self esteem, however, with positive affirmations and kind words from friends, loved ones and strangers, you begin to feel better about yourself and build on that. That's so awesome. Self esteem is something that's obtainable but it comes with being self assured too. I think I have self esteem, but didn't get it from my household. Barb-Detroit
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