From your description of you mom, it sounds like perhaps some of your anxiety could be hereditary....have you tried addressing THAT with a counselor?? Maybe they could help you work that out.
Congrats on your improvement!!!
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Discussion Topic
Faithwalk pull freeathon (hour 1)
Posted on 05/21/08, 09:53 am
I never have done this before because I know myself and I know enough about pulling that I feel like I will never be at a point - at this point - where I can be pull free for a day. It's just too familiar, it's become a long standing habit, I have come to rely on it for other emotions that the original stress, and I get in the zone.
Then I recall that when I am on vacation or I change my scene - I can sometimes stop for days. Why is that? And before this, there was a time when I did not pull at all. And a period of a few years in high school and college when I stopped completely trough prayer and God's strength. But when the self doubt and feelings of self worth and direction kicked in - I began to pull again - almost not realizing it - because i was unhappy about some things. And I hadn't spoken with a trysted counselor who could help me find a new way to manage my feelings and work through them - I guess.
So because I see places and times when I do have the ability to stop, I have decided now is the time to try this. I have read alot about giving up trying to control emotions, relationships and making everything right with the world - and what other people think and say or will react to you. So I will do this by the hour. Weds 9:50am. I'l start now - knowing that before the day ends, I will pull.
That's why I never did this before. I thought I had to get to a certain place in my life and awareness. but time marches on. I've been on this site for I don't know how long - months - so might as well dive in.
Hour one. No matter what. I want beautiful hair - and everything that comes with it. Joy, peace of mind, ability to manage emotions better, awareness, reaching out to others, no looking inward but upward...
Then I recall that when I am on vacation or I change my scene - I can sometimes stop for days. Why is that? And before this, there was a time when I did not pull at all. And a period of a few years in high school and college when I stopped completely trough prayer and God's strength. But when the self doubt and feelings of self worth and direction kicked in - I began to pull again - almost not realizing it - because i was unhappy about some things. And I hadn't spoken with a trysted counselor who could help me find a new way to manage my feelings and work through them - I guess.
So because I see places and times when I do have the ability to stop, I have decided now is the time to try this. I have read alot about giving up trying to control emotions, relationships and making everything right with the world - and what other people think and say or will react to you. So I will do this by the hour. Weds 9:50am. I'l start now - knowing that before the day ends, I will pull.
That's why I never did this before. I thought I had to get to a certain place in my life and awareness. but time marches on. I've been on this site for I don't know how long - months - so might as well dive in.
Hour one. No matter what. I want beautiful hair - and everything that comes with it. Joy, peace of mind, ability to manage emotions better, awareness, reaching out to others, no looking inward but upward...
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Reply #251 11/21/08 8:41am
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Reply #252 11/21/08 9:46am
You're doing very good!!!
Getting in a full day pull free is an incredable feat!!!
I'M PROUD OF YOU!!!! ((HUGS))
Would your Mom be open to going to a therapist? Either a one on one session or a group setting. In a group she would see that others deal with anxiety also, find ways to deal with situations and could make friends, exchange #'s and would have someone other than you to rely on.
Or maybe family counciling would work for your family? Don't tell Mom and Dad that it's for them. Be a little sneaky and say that you've been having anxiety and was told that it helps the one person if all members are involved. Which really isn't a lie.
Either way you think would work you'll prob. need to go in alone first and see what needs to happen to get her/them to go.
You are doing wonderfully in figuring things out and I know you will continue to make strides. -
Reply #253 11/21/08 12:04pm
Thanks for your cheers and support. it really helps.
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Reply #254 11/21/08 1:13pm
Faith, I am soooo proud of you. What amazing progress you made going through almost two days pull free. It warms my heart that you had that sucess. I think it should show you it is possible for you to be pull free.
You really are getting there. But you took the most amazing first step in making it through those many, many hours being pull free.
I hope and pray that this gives you the faith you've been lacking in your ability to eventually get you pulling under control and hopefully one day be completely pull free. -
Reply #255 11/22/08 8:00pm
Thanks Darby. Today I counted as Day 4. I pulled about 4x and stopped each time. i felt stronger today. it's almost like when you think about yourself as the puller, and you are in a stronger emotional place to stop, it trumps the desire to pull. And, I am reminding myself - once I had over all the things I fear, struggle with, can't fix over to God - I will not take them back from Him. Melody Beattie's book The language of letting Go is helping me alot too.
xo
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