crzychick

CrzyChicks PULL FREE A THON

Posted on 03/26/08, 03:48 am

I'll start mine:

(I typed a story about myself and a bit of my journey to here, but when I posted it my internet provider went down so I lost it and I just don't have the energy to retype it now. I will do it next time)

Last Jan I started a pullfreeathon on the other site. I did really good using the stress balls and had both my lashes and brows growing in. Until my boyfriend and I had a fight and I took it out on my brows. But I didn't get too upset, I look at it this way. Before I would have been so upset and would have zoned and wouldn't have stopped until I had cleared everything. By being able to stop myself at just my brows is a small victory. I was able to come out of it and quit.

So my official starting PULL FREE A THON counts will be:

Brows: 8 days
Lashes 85 days

Brows are harder for me. It's those spiky ones that I want to get. Once they get past that stage they are safe so as long as I use my stress balls and can stop myself from what I call "petting" (lightly rubbing a finger across the hairs) because if I don't "pet" then I don't know there is a spiky one there to obsess about.

• Reply #1 03/28/08  11:32pm
  
  shebepo
  Wow that's great! I knew you had a lot of time built up but I finally see how much.
  The petting is what I call the preamble that sets the stage for pulling. With me it's hair twirling and hair stroking. You're right, don't even let yourself engage in the activity that is likely to encourage the urge. I find keeping my hands down down DOWN all the time with no exceptions and I'm gaining control that way.
  Thanks!
• Reply #2 03/31/08  11:52am
  
  crzychick
  Shebepo All you do is make a new post in your own PullFreeAThon just like I'm doing now.
  
  I know that since the fight with my boyfriend in Feb. I didn't really get serious about not pulling my brows. I guess I was giving myself an out with them. But by starting this PullFree I now am making myself accountable. Not only to myself but to you all so it makes me want to try harder. So I'm updating my days.
  
  Here is my current days.
  
  Brows 13 days
  Lashes 90 days
  
  
• Reply #3 04/01/08  12:08pm
  
  crzychick
  Today I'm fighting an urge: I'm trying to ignore a spiky one that I felt in my brows. I am thinking about it and I have to admit I WANT to pull it but I also know if I can ignore it for a day or two it will lay down and soften so it won't have that course feeling. So I'll have to ride it out. Stress ball time. (squeeze, squeeze)
  
  
  Brows 14 days
  Lashes 91 days
• Reply #4 04/01/08  11:35pm
  
  shebepo
  Isn't it amazing how something like that can get us into such a struggle? Leave that poor hair alone, it just wants to have a normal life! (LOL)
  you can do it! !
• Reply #5 04/02/08  10:19am
  
  crzychick
  IT LIVES!!!! I was able to push that urge to the back of my head. Not really the thought of the hair but the insane obsession that I HAD to get to it. This morning I did give a little "pet" of the hairs and it does feel a bit less spikey so I figure if I can hold out one more day I'll be safe or should I say IT will be.
  
  Maybe if I give IT a name it will make it more personal and therefore I'll be less likely to want to pull it. *tapping finger on chin, thinking* I guess Spike will have to do.
  
  OK then Brows (including Spike) 15 days
  Lashes 92 days
• Reply #6 04/03/08  10:38am
  
  crzychick
  A little about myself and how I became a trichster. Looking back, way back I can see that it showed signs when I was really little. I always wanted to fiddle with ppl's hair. Maybe it was because in the times I grew up the hair style of the day was the "beehive" So it seemed that everyone was always doing their hair. Teasing it and hair spraying it, Getting it just right and sticking up so high, LOL.
  
  I spent a lot of time with my G'ma and my Aunt still lived at home so I would sit and watch her doing her hair. In the evenings my G'ma would think it was cute if I would put her hair up in curlers. My G'pa would also allow me to do his. LOL. I think they just thought what the heck it keeps her busy. No harm no foul.
  
  I then found that I wanted to pull out the gray hairs they had. G'ma wouldn't let me, besides she colored hers, but G'pa would, he would also let me sit on his lap and pull the gray ones from his chest. OUCH. I would also do this to my Dad.
  
  As I got older tho I stopped doing it. Not sure if I stopped or they thought I was getting to old to be sitting on their laps or the "game" was getting old.
  
  Enough for now.
  
  Brows 15 days (Spike is no longer Spike and is safe, he has joined his brothers and sisters and is being good and laying down)
  
  Lashes 93 days (but I have an itchy one on the outer corner of my left eye, it's always something, will try just putting a cool cloth on it and see if that will take that feeling away)
• Reply #7 04/07/08  10:53am
  
  crzychick
  Well it helps when you sleep most of the day. My Dr. started me on some new meds and they are kicking my ass.
  
  Brows 19 days
  Lashes 97 days
  
  The brows are sketchy. But I think that is just the way they are going to be after 30 yrs of pulling. I'm sure I damaged them. But every little bit is good. If I only have to "fill in" instead of drawing on the whole brow I'll be happy. That I can go on a water park ride (yes I rode them, with my daughter when she was little, wasn't going to ruin her fun because of my "habit") and not run to the rest room after each one to check my face I'll be ok.
  
  All I know is when I take a tissue and wipe the brow pencil off it doesn't all come off in one swipe. There is a trace left where it is caught on the hairs that are there. If I turn and look in the mirror at that time (at a distance at that) I can see that outline of my brows as I had them drawn on. Improvement. Tho I have noticed a lot of gray ones. (read regrowth facts)
• Reply #8 04/09/08  3:58pm
  
  crzychick
  Well yesterday was a long one. His interview went well. But we stopped by the hospital to see my Aunt while we were over there (City is 2 hours away). I haven't seen her for a while. She is fighting cancer and the tumor is not operatable. I wasn't ready to see how she looked. I was shocked.
  
  Got home late and after he went to bed I found myself pulling and I have been today also. So my brow days start over. *sigh*
  
  Brows 0 days
  Lashes 99 days
  
  As you can see I'm staying away from my lashes so I guess thats a good thing. I guess I don't want to mess up that many days. LOL
  
• Reply #9 04/10/08  9:39am
  
  ChinaCatzzz
  Well, if pulling is in any way a detour from feeling pain, then we just caught a glimpse of the depth of your pain. CrzyChick, I am SO sorry for your aunt... and for your enormous sense of loss (yep, it starts even before we lose them). Now I know we are probably trying to eliminate any and all "excuses" for pulling, but MAN O MAN ain't THIS one a b--tch?
  My angel, seeing even a brief moment of your human frailty just makes me love you more. You can always begin again your brow-pull-free-a-thon in her honor... and just do what you can... cuz you've proven you CAN do it!!!
  Warmest hugs,
  ChinaCat
• Reply #10 04/10/08  2:11pm
  
  crzychick
  Thank again guys. You help boost me up. Not just for the hairs on my body but my spirit also. ((HUGS)) to you all.
  
  Baby - I'll have to get some of those gloves. Ah can I get a body sized one. My skin is so dry after the winter, I heat with gas. ughhh.
  
  Shebepo - Yes I have that sign firmly planted in my brain. The odd thing is sometimes I wish it was the other way around and I had brows and not lashes. I can "hide" not having lashes so much easier.
  
  China - I have 3 ppl in my life right now fighting cancer. My Mother, she found out this past Dec. but she is home, never hospitalized and so it doesn't seem so urgent. She's doing good so far. Another Aunt (my Uncles wife) that we just found out about so I don't know how that will all play out. Then this Aunt (my Dad's sister). We already went thru surgery and the whole radiation thing last year and thought she was on the mend. I think that is why this is throwing me for such a loop. I'm closest to her. I drove her to her appointments last year. To just see her laying there and that tumor on her neck was almost too much and you are right we do begin to grieve before the actual loss. I haven't given up and neither has she. But.....
  
  So my days are:
  
  Brows 1
  Lashes 100 !!!!!!!!!!! Woo Hoooooooo. makes me wanna go get drunk. LOL
  

You mean that there is a name for IT? Im not weird? Oh what a relief. This board is for people that are serious about learning all they can about Trichotillomania. Yep that big old long word that is the bane of our world. Trich is tricky. But with knowledge and support of others we CAN break free and live without this disorder interfering with our lives. So lets keep this uplifting and supportive and give each other the encouragement the other needs to make it to that next day.