NormLNorma

A death in the family

Posted on 04/09/08, 09:12 pm

My aunt, a fellow atheist asked to be cremated. She passed away a few weeks ago and was. Now her children are not sure what to do with the ashes, they didn't think she should be cremated but per her wishes they did do it. The oldest child is having a ceremony for her with a rabbi. Her other child doesn't think that's right since her mother was not religious.
Wonder what anyone else would do in that situation.

• Reply #1 06/26/08  6:03pm
  
  GMChristine
  I doubt your aunt would begrudge her eldest child the comfort he or she will derive from the ceremony. I certainly would not oppose it were I in such a position.
  
  While I am an atheist, I have expressed a wish to have a Catholic ceremony complete with Mass at my funeral. It is the religion that my family adheres to, and it will have meaning for them. Also, it is the tradition under which my father and grandparents were sent off, so it has sentimental value to me.
• Reply #2 06/27/08  12:43am
  
  NormLNorma
  That's a very good answer CMC. Thanks for the reply.
  I seem to be the lone atheist on this site until you.
  : )
• Reply #3 06/27/08  12:35pm
  
  GMChristine
  I recently "came out" to my friends as an atheist. Lolz.
  
  I've noticed that even religious moderates will argue with an atheist. People who wouldn't dream of arguing with someone of a different religion can get pretty intolerant of someone without one.
  
  I have an Occam's Razor approach to my ontology. Making up supernatural entities to explain the universe does nothing to simplify it. I'm adding a cartoon to the group image files that I think is relevant here. Check it out.
• Reply #4 06/28/08  2:14am
  
  NormLNorma
  > I've noticed that even religious moderates will argue with an
  > atheist.
  
  I hear that 'we' are hated a lot! I've never run into any really terrible situations, not because of being an atheist but there might be many reason for that. For one, I don't tell many people, no reason to.
  I've been an atheist all my life so there was nothing to 'come out' about, haha. But I've been in many groups over the years and a lot of people were 'new' to it. Funny, many were Baptist.
  Was going to say though, there are a lot of atheist who can be very nasty to believers too. I used to be a 'hard core' atheist and thought anyone who was religious was insane but now I know it's not nice to make fun of people or criticize them. Some people need that comfort or for whatever other reason. Who is it anyone's place to tell anyone else what to think. As long as they don't interfere with anyone else. Actually that's why I started being so against believers, when my 1st husband remarried he then married a born again Christian and ... she started it, haha. Long story but it was because of her that I started realizing they try to mess with other people.
  
  > Making up supernatural entities to explain the universe does nothing
  > to simplify it.
  
  That's very interesting, I never thought of it that way. Guess it's all about what side one views it. I think of it in a personal way, as the religious needing a crutch for their own short comings in their everyday life.
• Reply #5 07/13/08  2:18pm
  
  hlks
  When I die I do not want any kind of religious ceremony at all. There are no other atheists in my family though, so I'm not sure what I would do in your situation. if your aunt wasn't really against a religious ceremony, then I don't see the harm in it for th sake of her family.
• Reply #6 07/13/08  11:49pm
  
  NormLNorma
  > then I don't see the harm in it for th sake of her family.
  
  That's what 'they' say, it's for the family more than for the dead person.
  But in a way it's about respect too, and it the person wasn't religious then it's not respecting the way they lived.
  Well, that's why I asked, it's a difficult question, between the wishes of one against the feelings of the living.
• Reply #7 07/15/08  6:21am
  
  Rickccccc
  I would have suggested cremating your aunt, along with whatever ceremony was appropriate to her wishes, and to the others that they held their own remembrance ceremony afterwards.
  
  Rick
• Reply #8 07/16/08  2:42am
  
  NormLNorma
  That's a good idea. Actually that's about what happened, sort of. My cousin had the memorial so people could stand up and talk about things they remembered about my aunt. And it wasn't too religious, guess we just have to overlook some things others say for their own comfort.

Non religious, logical rational thought as a way to solve or cope with problems.