Hi Lisa....you know, Lisa, from everything people have shared here...I just don't think it is possible for a non-compulsive gambler to really understand what we go through. When you come here....people understand what a triumph it is NOT to gamble....NOT to go to a social event that might lead you to gamble....to make the choices we have to make to save our own lives.
For people who don't have this condition....well...they simply don't have the struggle...they simply have no clue as to what this struggle is....
Before I developed this addiction, I could not really understand how anyone could be an alcoholic....geez, why would they DO that to themselves??? You know what...now I have a lot better idea what they might go through...after all, I started gambling as a social entertainment...then started doing it to the exclusion of all else...feeling compelled to do it even though it was destroying me!
Perhaps you can explain to others that compulsive gambling is like alcoholism. Some people can drink socially and have no negative consequences whatsoever. In others, a single drink can push them into an abyss they may not be able to climb out of. Going into bars for alcoholics(or being around others gambling for us) is just sitting on the edge and dangling your legs over the side of that abyss...not worth the risk!
It might be helpful to share with people some of the information you have found here...or on the GA site...but just remember....they are looking at this from the outside in. It is foreign to them..
No matter whether they understand or not...you can come here when you need support...
Hugs, Dianne
Discussion Topic
Helping people understand our addiction
Posted on 05/26/08, 01:44 pm
I am a two time uterine cancer survivor and I have to say, absolutely nothing I went through either time with my cancer battle even comes close to the fight with this addiction. When you have a disease or a problem that is physical, and people can either see it or are familiar with it, like uterine cancer or leukemia, something like that, people sympathize and maybe even empathize with you. But when you have a disease or addiction like most of us on here do, people can't see it, or don't know how to deal with it or approach us about it. In the long run this makes it even more difficult for us to deal with it. I don't know if anyone here is dealing with what I am at times, but it seems like I spend a lot of time trying to justify my illness to people who don't understand it or have never had an addiction. Not that I feel like I have to justify or explain it to anyone other than myself, but it does add to the struggle I fight every day. For myself, I feel like I have to include those closest in my life to what I'm dealing with so they can better understand why I'm acting the way I am. By that I mean staying away from the casinos, cancelling stuff that has anything to do with gambling that my friends or family have invited me to... like an invitation to a BBQ today that was ending with a bunch of them going out to play bingo at a local bingo hall...or even the days that I just need some alone time to reflect on things in my life that I am trying so desperately to change, stuff like that. This is a hard battle as I'm sure we all know, and those that aren't in the boxing ring fighting those demons with us have a hard time understanding what we deal with. If anyone has any ideas on ways to try and get people to understand our fight please reply and let me know. I wish you strength and forgiveness in your battle. Take good care. Lisa
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Reply #1 05/29/08 11:52am
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Reply #2 06/06/08 10:42am
Well said Dianne.
Just wanted to share this explanation that can be found at the Gamanon site ( 12 Step Program for Family and Friends of Compulsive Gamblers )
http://www.gam-anon.org/
About Compulsive Gambling
Compulsive gambling is the obvious symptom of an emotional disorder. The emotional factors involved are: inability or unwillingness to accept reality, emotional insecurity, basic immaturity, and lack of self-esteem. The gambler finds that he or she is most comfortable when gambling. Many psychiatrists feel that the gambler has an underlying need for self-destruction.
Compulsive gambling brings despair and humiliation into the lives of countless thousands of men, women and children. The compulsive gambler is a person who is dominated by an irresistible urge to gamble. Coupled with this is the obsessive idea that a way will be found not only to control the gambling, but to "make it pay" and enjoy it besides. This disease causes deterioration in almost all areas of the person's life.
The compulsive gambler attempts to create an image as a philanthropist and an all around "good fellow". Much of the time the gambler lives in a dream world which satisfies his or her emotional needs. The gambler dreams of a life filled with friends, new cars, furs, penthouses, yachts, etc. Pathetically there seems never to be big enough winnings to make even the smallest dream come true; probably because whatever monies won are, to the gambler, sacred. He or she must always return to win more; no amount is sufficient. Ultimately the gambler gambles in reckless desperation and his or her dream world brings no relief. The gambler destroys himself or herself and everyone the gambler touches. When the compulsive gambler reaches the point where he or she is willing to admit to having a problem and has a desire to stop gambling, the gambler will find help through Gamblers Anonymous.
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