Keep a personal wellness journal on DailyStrength to track your health and communicate with friends. http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal Tue, 02 Dec 2008 05:40:45 +0100 DailyStrength RSS 0.11.3.0.6833 (FeedCreator 1.7.2) http://dailystrength.org/images/comprofiler/avatar/97058/1213254368.jpg http://dailystrength.org/people/97058 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1407238 I've had a really good day today. Still feeling on the hyper side which is a good thing as it means I've happily enjoyed my birthday which I was REALLY not looking forward to.Went to Day Patients this morning and spent the afternoon out with one of my friends from there (who is doing really ... Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:51:56 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1404950 I'm feeling a bit crazy at the moment. Hyper, agitated, laughing at everything, feel like I'm going completely insane... BUT at the same time I feel like shit. I mean like REALLY crap! Which just sounds rediculous because I'm giggling at everything and I'm sitting here thinking I wan... Sat, 29 Nov 2008 17:21:37 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1402850 Plucked up the courage and told my therapist about what happened with my Key Worker. I have a proper therapy session with him tomorrow so I can talk about it properly there. Just said I needed to tell him before I chickened out again.Sooooo. Other than that, it's been a really boring day. Tomorr... Thu, 27 Nov 2008 16:51:20 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1401843 Well today's option for Lunch (Chicken goulash - Basically it's rice, chicken, broccoli in this weird sauce stuff) is my most hated meals at Day Patients. Actually I hate this day! Wednesdays of Week 2, the dreaded menus!Lunch - Chicken goulash       ... Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:11:45 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1400380 I didn't write an entry yesterday, wasn't feeling up to it. I had a key work session at Day Patients yesterday afternoon. My key worker has only just started working at the unit I go to but apparently he's worked in other units.Well, I've mentioned before how I find it hard to talk. ... Tue, 25 Nov 2008 16:38:49 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1397579 I didn't write an entry yesterday so you would think I would have lots to say. Well... I don't.Weekend has been about the same as others. Not really done anything and I'm feeling pretty crap at the moment. Managed to make it through another weekend without 'doing anything stupid'... Sun, 23 Nov 2008 16:46:12 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1395281 Managed to talk a bit more today. I was the only Day Patient there today which made it easier to talk. I talked about Wednesday too which helped a bit.Therapy went quite well too. Didn't talk in detail about anything but I was able to talk more so I was satisfied.I did do something really bad to... Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:03:31 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1393835 So it was 'Fast Food' day today at day patients. Woop. Managed it though so that's something. Today was pretty uneventful actually. Not much was going on...well, compared with Wednesday's events anyway. There was only one group on 'Relaxation' which I went to. Was nice but I ... Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:25:06 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1392544 I was meant to have Family Therapy today but (as I thought) my Mum couldn't make it. Instead my therapist said we could meet. He told me that he wants to stop my other 1/2 hr appointment now that I have a key worker (they were short staffed before). I know I shouldn't but I just feel so hurt... Wed, 19 Nov 2008 18:34:19 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1391043 I'm feeling the same as I was last night. Couldn't talk again today. Still want to self harm. Went to the river again today. Just needed that comfort. *Shrugs* I'm meant to have a family therapy appointment tomorrow with my Mum but she's not well. The tablets they've just given h... Tue, 18 Nov 2008 17:39:37 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1389240 Really trying to fight the urge to self harm at the moment. Don't know if I'm going to manage it tonight though.Had a horrible day. My Mum has her own problems at the moment so the past couple of weeks which have been really hard for me I've not shared with her. She was my rock and now i... Mon, 17 Nov 2008 13:58:17 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1388056 Well there goes another weekend of not particularly doing ANYTHING with a point to it. I'm not feeling motivated to write a journal entry tonight to be honest so it's not going to be very interesting. I just want to try and write something every night.....oh that's helpful..my mum has ju... Sun, 16 Nov 2008 17:34:48 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1386932 I've just done some artwork. A sketch of Gerard Way from MCR. I enjoyed it whilst I was doing it but now I'm finished all I see are the mistakes. The parts that should have been slightly different. The bits that needed to be darker. The problems that cause the picture to NOT look how I wante... Sat, 15 Nov 2008 19:35:44 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1383724 I feel like smashing my head through a pane of glass...or perhaps just into a brick wall. As you can probably tell I'm not feeling very good. To be honest I'm not feeling 'sad' or 'upset', I don't really know how to describe how I'm feeling. A bit dazed, not... Thu, 13 Nov 2008 13:33:38 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1382288 Wow...ok so don't really know how to start this entry. I don't know what I'm feeling to be honest. I don't know, and yet at the same time it feels like the slightest thing would just make me emotionally 'crack'. I have so many mixed feelings going on right now. Earlier o... Wed, 12 Nov 2008 17:00:21 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1379325 Well, I managed to 'complete' what I was given today in Day Patients. I had the AM snack and the PM snack but I could only manage half my Lunch portion so I had an Ensure to make up the rest. I think I've had most of the fruit flavours now and I still haven't found one I particularly... Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:11:35 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1377908 It's quite hard for me to say that. I feel like I've failed. I know I shouldn't but I do. I feel like I'm going to lose control of my feelings again. When I stopped eating all those thoughts that I couldn't control and made me feel so unsafe just slowly calmed down and went away.... Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:24:41 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1375157 Last week, Tuesday night I was admitted overnight because I didn't feel safe to go home. The same thing happened this Wednesday. I didn't want to feel that way anymore so I did the only thing that I knew worked...I stopped eating. Unfortunately, it works. I feel safe again. Now I'm scare... Fri, 07 Nov 2008 13:29:40 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1364427 Thu, 30 Oct 2008 18:24:19 +0100 http://dailystrength.org/people/97058/journal/1351671 I've been...emotional today. I think it's been a build up over the last couple of days and it was just too much to keep it in today. I wasn't as upset as I could have been but it got rid of some of it.I tried to talk in Day Patient catch up group today. Started talking and realised if I ... Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:02:34 +0100